ANYA: The annoying virgin has a point. What if Willow filets their soles and then comes after us?

XANDER: She won't.

ANYA: You don't know that.

XANDER: We're her friends, Anya. Her family. She would never hurt us.

ANYA: She tried to use you for a hood ornament, Xander. She doesn't care if you live or die.

XANDER: Guess you two finally have something in common.

ANYA: I care if you live or die, Xander. I'm just not sure which one I want.

XANDER: Again with the comfort. Look, we both know things might get ugly at Wiccapalooza. And if it gets really bad --

ANYA: Let me guess. You'll propose.

XANDER: I need to know if you're gonna turn on me. Use this little shindig as an excuse for some sweet revenge.

ANYA: There is nothing in this world that would give me greater or more lasting satisfaction than to reap bloody vengeance upon *you*, Xander Harris. But I can't! Not officially, not magically -- So smile, it's your lucky day! You got away with it. I can't hurt you.

XANDER: Right, 'cause you varnishing the table with Spike -- how could that possibly have hurt? It may have chaffed...

ANYA: (quietly) That wasn't vengeance. It was solace. (beat) Look, I really can't hurt you, so I'm just gonna have to settle for hating you.

XANDER: If that's what you need to do.

ANYA: Don't! You don't get to play the martyr!

XANDER: I'm not.

ANYA: You know, none of this would be happening if it weren't for you!

XANDER: You think I don't know that? You think I'm the hero of this piece? I saw the gun. Before Warren raised it, I saw it, and I couldn't move. He shot two of my friends before I could even... You want me to know how useless I am? That it's *my* fault? Thanks. Already got the memo.

ANYA: I was talking about us.

• Xander & Anya

written by: Douglas Petrie; No transcript available, so I started with the Shooting Script and spent a couple-three hours editing it to match what was said and shown on the broadcast version. . Full transcript at: