(Lorne and Angel enter a dingy bar. One of the customers is asleep at a table, wrapped around a bottle. A boy is singing 'Greensleeves.')

ANGEL: Nice.

LORNE: Hmm, it's not that bad. Nothing a couple bottles of Lysol can't cure.

LORNE: Interesting choice. Too bad about the Cuisinart tomorrow. You know, if we stop the world from ending tomorrow the scar won't even be that noticeable. (Angel looks at him) Sorry. Occupational hazard.

ANGEL: Is he here?

LORNE: Nope.

(Angel drops down on a barstool and rubs his forehead.)

ANGEL: Seventeen Karaoke bars. You know, I need to lie down and scrub out the inside of my head.

LORNE: Well, maybe we're wrong. Sniffing a cold trail.

BARTENDER: We don't get your kind much.

LORNE: Excuse me?

BARTENDER: Demons. We get a couple now and then but they're usually vampires passing for human.

LORNE: Well, I never pass on anything, mister, especially when it comes with a little umbrella in the glass.

ANGEL: You worked here long?

BARTENDER: Eleven years now. It used to be a regular bar, but then they put in one of these Karaoke machines. Thought it would bring in the customers. It drove most of them away. We got a few steadies that make up for it.

ANGEL: Steadies?

BARTENDER: A lot of students. They're grad students.

LORNE: Fits the descrip.

ANGEL: We're looking for a guy, early twenties, medium build, maybe one of your steadies, sings sad songs like 'All By Myself.'

BARTENDER: Sounds like the kid.

ANGEL: Name?

BARTENDER: I don't know his name but he comes in every few weeks. Runs with the whole broken heart songbook. First time I thought somebody died. But after a couple of weeks I figured he was just one of those manic depressants.

LORNE: Hey, Goliath, you got a good picture of this grad student in your head? (Bartender shrugs) Well, how about singing a few bars of 'For He's a Jolly Good Fellow', hmm?

ANGEL: Oh, you know, he's a demon. You better do what he says or he might ... talk your ears off.

BARTENDER: For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow ...

LORNE: Yeah, it's him. It's our boy. Fabulous tone by the way, really nice vibrato. And you keep plugging away at that novel, F. Scott. Art is its own reward. (Aside to Angel) Got to give the people hope. (To bartender) Now this grad student, which university would that be?

• Angel & Lorne (the Host)
• Funnies

written by: David Greenwalt; Original transcript by anonymous. Edited, formatted for this site & checked against source by chicken_cem. Checked against source by chicken_cem.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season2/transcripts/35_tran.shtml