SPIKE: It's bollocks, Angel! It's your brand of bollocks from the first to last.

ANGEL: No, you can't ever see the big picture. You can't see any picture!

SPIKE: I am talking about something primal. Right? Savagery. Brutal animal instinct.

ANGEL: And that wins out every time with you. You know, the human race has evolved, Spike!

SPIKE: Oh, into a bunch of namby-pamby, self-analyzing wankers who could never hope to—

ANGEL: We're bigger. We're smarter. Plus, there's a thing called teamwork, not to mention the superstitious terror of your pure aggressors!

SPIKE: You just want it to be the way you want it to be.

ANGEL: (yelling) It's not about what I want!

WESLEY: (arriving) Sorry. Is this something we should all be discussing?

ANGEL: (embarrassed) No.

WESLEY: It just...sounds a little serious.

ANGEL: It was mostly...theoretical. We...

SPIKE: We were just working out a b— Look, if cavemen and astronauts got into a fight, who would win?

(he crosses his arms and looks expectantly at Wes)

WESLEY: Ah. You've been yelling at each other for 40 minutes about this?

(they both look embarassed. Wesley considers...)

WESLEY: Do the astronauts have weapons?

ANGEL & SPIKE: (simultaneously) No.

• Angel & Spike
• Funnies

written by: Joss Whedon; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited & formatted by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season5/transcripts/5x15_tran.php