(Suddenly the door bursts open and ScruffyXander rushes in.)

ScruffyXANDER: Get away from her!

ANYA: (to ScruffyXander) Xander! (to SuaveXander) Xander!

SuaveXANDER: (to ScruffyXander) Get out. You don't belong here.

ScruffyXANDER: Anya. It's me.

(Anya looks in confusion from one to the other. She starts to walk toward ScruffyXander but SuaveXander stops her.)

SuaveXANDER: It's a demon. He stole my face, he's trying to trick you.

SuaveXANDER: Anya, you know I'm me, right?

ScruffyXANDER: No!

(Anya looks at ScruffyXander again and moves closed to SuaveXander.)

ANYA: What is it? Make it go away.

(...)

ScruffyXANDER: He's the demon! Or possibly a robot. Look at me. Look in my eyes. Can't you see it's me?

ANYA: I, I don't know!

ScruffyXANDER: (desperately) Please! Look at him! Listen to him! He's all smooth! You have to know it's me!

SuaveXANDER: Don't worry, Anya. I'll get rid of this thing. I'm thinkin' this is gonna last about fifteen seconds.

(ScruffyXander reaches inside his clothing and pulls out a gun. He points it at SuaveXander. )

ScruffyXANDER: I'm thinkin' less.

(Blackout. Fade back in on the standoff. ScruffyXander points the gun at SuaveXander, with Anya behind. Suddenly Anya rushes forward. )

ANYA: No! Don't shoot him!

(She pushes the gun so it points at the ceiling. SuaveXander comes forward and grabs ScruffyXander's hands and they all three grapple for the gun.)

(...)

ScruffyXANDER: Let go! I have to kill the demon-bot!

(The gun falls to the floor. SuaveXander grabs it. )

SuaveXANDER: Anya ... get out of the way.

BUFFY: Xander!

SuaveXANDER: (smiling) All right, Buffy. I have him.

ScruffyXANDER: No! Buffy! I'm me! Help me!

ANYA: My gun! He's got my gun!

RILEY: You own a gun??

BUFFY: Xander ... gun-holding Xander. (Walks quickly over to SuaveXander) Give me the gun.

(Both Xanders stare. Finally SuaveXander holds the gun up and gives it a quick twist with one hand so that the bullets fall out onto the floor. He flips it shut and hands it to Buffy, who looks impressed.)

written by: Jane Espenson; Transcribed by Joan the English Chick (pisces@englishchick.com).. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/81thereplacement.html