(The double Pylean suns are blazing up in the sky. Lorne walks out of a room at his mom's farm twisting his neck to where Angel is waiting for him.)

LORNE: Good as new - though I seem to have put on about a hundred and fifty eight pounds.

ANGEL: You look great. Love the trousers.

LORNE: Yeah. It's been a thrill, mom. See you in a millennium or three.

ANGEL: Hey. Isn't there something you wanna say to your mother?

LORNE: Hmm, may you burn in Tarkna?

ANGEL: Come on. She's not that bad. I mean, she didn't store your body on top of the maggot pile like you thought she would, now did she?

LORNE: Bye mom. Thanks for storing my body on the lice pile instead of the maggot heap.

MOM: I thought you were lost to us forever. But you came back. You came back. (A slight smile starts to play over Lorne's face) The runt of my loins came back after raining such *misery* upon our lives (Lorne's smile fades) and managed to shame us even further!

(Mom spits upon Lorne and Angel claps a hand on him.)

ANGEL: Alright then. We'll just be...

MOM: Who's supposed to do our labor now that your cow-friend has freed the slaves? You know what they call me - at the hall of Drink and Chance? - Mother of the vile excrement!

ANGEL: Be sure to keep in touch.

MOM: Go on, misfit! Back to your world where no one knows his place! May you rot in Tarkna!

(Mom slams the door shut behind them.)

ANGEL: Every family's got its problems.

MOM: (muffled) Numfar, do the dance of shame.

(We hear some shuffling and clomping coming from the house behind them.)

ANGEL: Yours more than most.

LORNE: My psychic friend told me I had to come back here. I didn't believe her. Then I realized I *did* have to come back here, because - I really always thought I had to come back here, deep down inside, you know? I had to come back here to find out I *didn't* have to come back here. I don't belong here. I hate it here. You know where I belong? LA. You know why? *Nobody* belongs there. It's the perfect place for guys like us.

ANGEL: That's kind of beautiful.

LORNE: Ain't it? I'm very moved, if I do say so myself.

ANGEL: (claps him on the back) Please do.

LORNE: You know, I feel a song coming on.

ANGEL: Yeah, I thought you might.

LORNE: (singing) Somewhere over the rainbow...

(Two guys that were doing something at the side of the road further down, clap their hands over their ears and sink to the ground, groaning.)

LORNE: (singing)...way up high...

• Angel & Lorne (the Host)
• Funnies
• Lorne's Pylea & family issues

written by: David Greenwalt; Original transcript anonymous. Edited, formatted for this site and checked against source by Sylvia.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season2/transcripts/44_tran.shtml