VOICE: You understand, then?

SPIKE: Yeah, yeah - it's not like you haven't been clear about it, oh great mysterious one. (bored) This is a test. I don't get what I want unless I pass said test. That about the size and shape?

VOICE: Yes.

SPIKE: And since your pad is decked out gladiator style, and no number two pencils have been provided - I guess we're not starting with the written. (spots muscley guy) Ah. Here we go, then. Just me and the walking action figure. I'm venturing this would be the Kill-or-be-killed type of situation, then?

VOICE: To the death.

SPIKE: Right. Here we are now. Entertain us.

(Muscley opponent's fists burst into flame)

SPIKE: Son of a b...

• Funnies
• Spike's Soul

written by: Douglas Petrie; No transcript available, so I started with the Shooting Script and spent a couple-three hours editing it to match what was said and shown on the broadcast version. . Full transcript at: