FRED: Scented candles, couple of broken pieces of the Muo-Ping, and some toiletries that smell way too pretty to be evil. Not much to go on. As insidious lairs go, it kept Cordy's room nice and tidy. I think it even vacuumed.

ANGEL: Keep working on a way to locate this thing. If I'm not back in a couple of hours—

GUNN: You're dead, we're screwed, end of the world.

FRED: Or, you could stay here with us. Here's nice.

ANGEL: I've done this before. Don't worry. Walk in the park.

(cut to Angel fighting a demon, knocking him out, in the "Billy" helldimension)

ANGEL: I really hate the park.

(Angel sneaks up an another demon, which turns out to be Skip)

SKIP: (startled) Oh! Angel, geez. Don't they knock in your dimension?

ANGEL: Sorry. Wasn't sure it was you.

SKIP: Powerful demon Skip at your service. Hey, I—I got some more buffalo wings and, uh, the game's on at five if you want to just...

ANGEL: I'm a little pressed right now. When was the last time you saw Cordelia?

SKIP: Who?

ANGEL: She told me you were her guide when she decided to become half-demon.

SKIP: She did, huh? Okay, look, I wanted to give you the heads up but you know how the Powers are—always making with the big hush hush.

ANGEL: What do you know?

SKIP: This is going to be really hard for you to accept but Cordelia has ascended to a higher plane.

ANGEL: Oh, I know. She's back.

SKIP: Back?

ANGEL: Or at least something that looks like her.

SKIP: Well, wait. Nobody comes back from paradise. Okay, a Slayer once, but that—

ANGEL: So you haven't heard anything.

SKIP: Uh, not since her ascension. Oh, it was beautiful. Should've been there.

ANGEL: You were a part of that?

SKIP: It's in the job description. As Cordelia's guide I'm there for all the important events.

ANGEL: Except her welcome back party. So why didn't the Powers invite you to that one?

SKIP: Mysterious ways. They can really drive a guy nuts.

ANGEL: Or maybe if you had known something you might've warned us. No, about the only one not keen on that slipping out is the one pulling her strings.

SKIP: Not following you there, champ.

ANGEL: You said it yourself, you were there. Guiding Cordelia to her ascension, seeing her off to a higher plane which is exactly where this thing needed her to be to make its move. So, I'm thinking either you've been played for a dupe like the rest of us or you've been in on this from the start, Skippy.

SKIP: Angel, buddy, whatever's going on, I'm telling you true... (a dagger shoots out of his arm) Not a dupe.

(commercial. when we resume, Skip & Angel are fighting. Skip seems to be winning)

SKIP: Not like last time, is it, monkey boy? You know, the worst part about signing on for this gig was having to take a dive when you rescued that runt Billy from his box of fire. I mean, come on! You really think a guy built like this would be so easy to drop? This time we do it for real, champion. This time... (grins) you lose.

(...)

SKIP: Well, now, this is just embarrassing.

ANGEL: (struggles to stand) Tell me... what happened to Cordelia.

SKIP: Or, what? You'll bleed on me some more? You know, I've always wondered. How many chunks you gotta hack off a vampire before he goes all dust bunny?

ANGEL: Tell me what happened...

SKIP: Yeah. Heard that part.

(more fighting. Angel swings across the room on a chain)

SKIP: What are you, Tarzan? See, this is the nefarious meat of it, pal. You die never knowing what really happened to the woman you love. Gotta respect the classics.

(Angel makes a little progress)

SKIP: (staggering) You really think that's gonna—

(his hand wrapped in the chain, Angel manages to punch Skip unconscious)

ANGEL: Yeah, I do.

written by: Steven S. DeKnight; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited and formatted for this site by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season4/transcripts/83_tran.php