CORDELIA: Oh god, Angel! It’s so terrible! Oh, my gosh. Don’t even look at me! I am such a mess! I am the lowest of the lowest! And ... you’re gonna wanna get my other suitcase out in the hall there.

ANGEL: What happened?

CORDELIA: My apartment! It’s like the barrio – or the projects or whatever, and I live there! I am the girl from the *projects*!

ANGEL: What? I don’t know about that!

CORDELIA: Get this. I tried to call Doyle. I have *sunk* that low. And there was no answer. So, here I am. Not that you’re the last resort. It’s just that... I have nowhere else left to go. Roaches! Live ones, dead ones. All skinny feet and creepy antlers.

ANGEL: Antlers?

CORDELIA: Oh, my god! I wonder how many stowed away in that bag? Also? the water is all brown and spurty, and not hot! I am dying for a shower. I... actually smell! Smell me. I never smell. I didn’t know I could. I’m just gonna have to stay here until I find a decent place, however long that takes, and when I do you're completely invited over. Hey, you can just dump my stuff on the couch – or let me have the bed. What ever you feel good about. Also, my suitcase is still out in the hall. Your shower's in here, right?You have mousse? (looks at him) Of course you do.

• Cordelia & Angel
• Funnies

written by: Jane Espenson; Originally transcribed by anonymous. Edited & formatted for this site by: tralf. checked against source by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season1/transcripts/05_tran.shtml