DOYLE: If you need help. Then look no further. Angel Investigations is the best! Our rats are low.

CORDELIA: Rates!

DOYLE: (RE: cue cards) It says 'rats'. Our rates are low, but our standards are high. When the chips are down, and you're at the end of your rope you need someone that you can count on. And that's what you'll find here. Someone who will go all the way, who'll protect you no matter what. So don't lose hope. Come on over to our offices and you'll see that there's still heroes in this world. Is that it? Am I done?

CORDELIA: I don't know. I'm not getting every man, I'm getting... weasel. We don't want weasel.

DOYLE: I don't know. I think people will be pouring in as soon as they hear about our low rats. I could take another crack at it.

CORDELIA: I don't think so.

DOYLE: Weasel factor, huh?

CORDELIA: Doyle, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry. I'm just... I feel kind of hopeless with him down there doing the non-profit brooding. It's not like he has a heart. How could it be so broken?

DOYLE: I guess seeing Buffy again just got him where he lives.

CORDELIA: That's all very sad, but we live here too.

DOYLE: I'll talk to him.

CORDELIA: (excited) Maybe if we get him a costume!

DOYLE: A costume?

CORDELIA: Well, the guy is a bona fide hero, would it kill him to put on some tights and a cape and garner us a little free publicity?

DOYLE: I don't see Angel putting on some tights... Oh, now I do, and it's *really* disturbing.

• Angel's batman-ness
• Cordelia & Angel
• Cordelia & Doyle
• Funnies

written by: Howard Gordon and Tim Minear; Originally transcribed by anonymous. Edited, formatted for this site and checked against source by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season1/transcripts/09_tran.shtml