LORNE: (on cell, totally in his element) Oh, sweetie, it's perfect! Yes, it's perfect. It's the project you've been waiting for. Yeah, it's Joanie Loves Chachi meets The Sorrow and the Pity. It's Joanie Loves Pity. And you're— (looking at assistant's paperwork) yeah, that carpet's great because I want our clients to become dizzy and vomit. Keep flipping, huh? (to the phone) Yeah, you're a shoo-in. The part's yours. Yeah, I've got a whole freezer full of horses' heads downstairs. No, I'm just kidding. But listen, the producer's a client, so read it and we'll talk. (to assistant) OK. Better. Horrible and pathetic, but better.

(elevator opens, Angel steps out)

GUNN: You lost, boss?

ANGEL: On a lot of levels. Did you hear what happened to me last night?

GUNN: You got lucky?

ANGEL: They put a tracer on me. I was working the town, helping the helpless, which is a thing I like to do. All of a sudden, the entire firm shows up in the alley.

WESLEY: We'll make sure it doesn't happen again.

ANGEL: We're turning this place inside out. If they wanna see how I handle running Wolfram & Hart, they're gonna find out. Everything must go...

(enters his office, comes to an abrupt halt)

ANGEL: Starting with that.

(Eve's sitting jauntily on his desk, Lilah-style)

EVE: Hi. It's really neat to see you guys.

ANGEL: I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be my office.

EVE: Never happen again. Just wanted to, you know, see your face.

ANGEL: You like to make an entrance.

EVE: You always open both doors when you enter a room? I don't need to make an entrance. I need to make an impression. I'm gonna be your liaison to the firm. I'll help you find your way. My name is Eve. And just so we get the whole irony thing of the way...

(poses with an apple, then tosses it to Angel)

ANGEL: Who do you answer to?

EVE: The senior partners, and if you're thinking, which, by the way, you are, that you can use me to get to them, let go of the dream. I answer to them. I don't lunch with them.

WESLEY: Still... a pretty powerful position for a young woman.

EVE: How exactly can you be sure I'm either of those things? OK, let me tell you how this works.

ANGEL: I thought I was in charge.

EVE: Of the Los Angeles offices of a multi-dimensional corporation. Now, I'm stressing that last word because that's what we are. We're a business, and we have a bottom line. Now, you could take your new client list and start hacking away from the top down. A lot of our clients are demons, and... almost all of them are evil.

ANGEL: Almost?

EVE: Things are always more complicated than they seem, champ. You can shut this place down, but... then...well, then you wouldn't have it anymore. If the place closes down, the connections dry up. Evil goes next door. This is the catch—I'm explaining the catch so you don't have to stand around wondering what it is. See, in order to keep this business running, you have to keep this business running. And that means keeping your clients—-most of them, anyway—-happy.

GUNN: Means letting them get away with stuff.

EVE: Sweetie, they were getting away with it while you were all sitting around your hotel waiting for the phone to jangle. Well, you're on the ins now, and you can stop the worst of it. Maybe find some new solutions to some old problems. Come on! Isn't anybody excited? This is a crazy time of fun. The most powerful evil around has given a pivotal position over to its sworn enemies. You're not scared, are you?

(Angel pointedly takes a huge bite out of the apple she tossed him)

EVE: The client files are all in there. You might want to start going through 'em.

• Angel vs Eve
• Wolfram & Hart

written by: Joss Whedon; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited & formatted for this site by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season5/transcripts/5x01_tran2.php