(Glory's apartment. She's holding a drinking glass with water to his face so that he can drink)

GLORY: Is that better? Do you think you can try to talk now? Good. 'Cause I'm tired of these games!

(she breaks the glass on his face, cutting him)

GLORY: I need time, I need a drink. You're a very needy little blood-sucker and it's not very attractive! So start talking.

SPIKE: Yeah, okay. The key. Here's the thing. It's that guy, on tv. What's his name?

GLORY: On the telivision?

SPIKE: On that show? The price show? Where they guess what stuff costs?

Murk: The price is right?

Jinx: Bob Barker.

Murk: We will bring you the limp and beaten body of Bob Barker.

GLORY: It is not Bob barker, you scabby morons! The key is new to this world and Bob Barker is as old as grit. The vampire is lying to me.

SPIKE: (laughs) Yeah. But it was fun. And guess what, bitch? I'm not telling you jack. You're never gonna get your sodding key. 'Cause you might be strong, but in our world, you're an idiot.

GLORY: I'm a god.

SPIKE: The god of what, bad home perms?

GLORY: Shut up! I command you shut up!

SPIKE: Yeah, okay, sorry but I just had no idea that gods were such prancing lightweights. Mark my words, the Slayer is going to kick your skanky lopsided ass back to whatever place would take a cheap whorish fashion victim ex-god like you.

(she hits him so hard he flies out of the apartment. He scambles unsteadily to his feet to make a break for it.)

SPIKE: (to himself) Good plan, Spike!

GLORY: (to Minions) Bring him back!

• Buffy vs Glory

written by: Jane Espenson; Haven't found a transcript yet, so am just typing up my favorite exchanges as time allows.... Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/96intervention.html