JOYCE: Good morning, sunshine!

BUFFY: Hey.

JOYCE: I've got juice, I've got sticky buns, oh, don't they smell good!

JOYCE: Ted made them. What?

BUFFY: I'd just like to eat something around here that Ted didn't make.

JOYCE: Oh, what kind of an attitude is that?

BUFFY: Look, Mom, I know you think he's great and all, but I...

JOYCE: Y'know, he went out of his way to be nice to you, and you couldn't say two words to him on Saturday. I do not expect you to love him right away like I do, but I do expect you to treat him decently.

BUFFY: You love him?

JOYCE: I-I don't know. That just slipped out. But I guess, I mean, it's not exactly like men beat down the door when you're a single...

BUFFY: When you're a single parent.

JOYCE: Honey, look. I wouldn't have anything to do with anybody if they didn't care about you. But he does! I don't understand why you can't see that!

BUFFY: He threatened me.

JOYCE: What?

BUFFY: He threatened me. He said that he was gonna slap my face.

JOYCE: He said no such thing! Honey, Ted told me what happened. He caught you cheating, didn't he?

BUFFY: Yeah, I kicked my ball in, put me in jail, but he totally wigged!

JOYCE: And he didn't say anything about it in front of the others, did he?

BUFFY: Uh, no, but I don't think that's the...

JOYCE: (interrupts) Well, I thought that that was pretty decent of him! Ted said we are just gonna have to give you time to come around. Oh, speaking of which, he's making dinner for us tonight, so I'd like you at home, please, promptly at six.

• Buffy & her mom

written by: David Greenwalt & Joss Whedon; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/23ted.html