TRISH: I almost hate to ask, but - you do a lot of bandaging in your line of work?

CORDELIA: Mmm. Occupational hazard. I mean, sure there is the occasional demon who tries to kill us with pillows, but, sadly, those cases are few and far between.

(Roger is looking at the Durslar's head. It has some of the same pretty crystals that Fred spotted in the sewer around its lair stuck to its side.)

ROGER: How about this guy? Was he a demon?

CORDELIA: I think Angel called it a Durslar beast. He and Fred tracked it down after it attacked them when they went out for ice cream.

ROGER: You mean you know how to track these things, Fred?

FRED: No. Mostly I was just there for the ice cream.

TRISH: I wish he hadn't brought that thing out again. It gives me the willies.

ROGER: Oh, don't be silly Trish. It's just a severed head.

(Gunn picks up the head to move it out of Trish's sight.)

GUNN: I got it. The lady makes bug soup with a ten ton bus, but show her a paper-mache head, she gets the willies. Ha. Women.

ANGEL: Uh, Gunn, you *do* know it's not paper-mache?

(Gunn quickly takes his hands off the head.)

GUNN: We still got that bleach in the bathroom? (exits)

(Angel and Wes watch the Burkles fuss over Fred.)

ANGEL: I got to say this is not how I pictured this turning out.

WESLEY: They look happy, don't they?

CORDELIA: Voila! That's French for 'I think we stopped the bleeding.'

FRED: Thanks Cordelia.

CORDELIA: Next up: multiple stab wounds. Angel!

ANGEL: (excited) Uh, it's my turn. Oh, yay!

CORDELIA: What a dork.

WESLEY: How does it feel, Fred?

FRED: Like my heart's been put in one of those orange juice squeezers... (Looks down at her arm) Oh. Kind of like a giant bug tried to rip my arm off and Angel saved me.

TRISH: He seems to do *that* a lot, doesn't he?

FRED: It's what he does. Angel's the champion, and Wesley's the brains of the operation, Gunn's the muscle and Cordy's the heart, and I'm...

ROGER: And to think, we were wondering when to call the cops on a bunch of superheroes!

ANGEL: Oh, I'm not really a hero.

GUNN: More like a bloodsucking fiend.

(Angel gives him a look.)

ROGER: Frankly, Angel, I don't care if you drink pig's blood, cows blood, or those froofy, little, imported beers. You saved my little girl.

ANGEL: Well, I wouldn't 've had to if she hadn't gone all Amazonian and whacked that thing with a golf club.

ROGER: Well, I tell ya, I hadn't seen a stroke like that since Nicklaus took on Gary Player in the '63...

ANGEL and ROGER: Bob Hope Dessert Classic.

(They look at each other, laugh and shake hands.)

ANGEL: Alright!

FRED: I wanna go home.

(Everyone gets real quiet and looks at her.)

FRED: I'm - I'm just not cut out for this. I mean, if Angel hadn't gotten me out of the way, you'd all be laughing in the morgue right now. - Okay, maybe not laughing, but - the point is, I think I should go home where it's quiet and safe and - monsters don't eat your family. - You're not - disappointed in me, are you?

TRISH: Oh, Fred. Never! Oh, it's gonna be so good to have you home!

GUNN: She probably be happier there.

WESLEY: Yeah. That's good.

written by: Mere Smith; Original transcript anonymous. Edited and formatted for this site by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season3/transcripts/49_tran.shtml