(Angel cannot sleep because someone is singing the star-spangled-banner. He gets up and comes down the stairs into the lobby and stops on the landing, crossing his arms.)

LORNE: Hey, big fella. You've gotta be all the time singing in here, am I right? Come on, with these acoustics? (sings) "and the rockets red glare!" Do you hear that resonance?

ANGEL: What I hear, and maybe, hopefully, I'm still dreaming, is the star-spangled-banner being belted out by a loud green demon.

LORNE: We're all brothers under the skin, mi amigo. Although the garden hue and the horns have kept me out of some key public performances. Just once I'd love to ring in a Lakers game with our national anthem. Is that so much to ask?

ANGEL: Yes! Is there a reason you're here?

LORNE: There is. What's today? Thursday? Tomorrow night, the world's going to end. I thought you might want to know.

ANGEL: So the world's gonna end.

LORNE: Brings you right down, doesn't it? Don't feel the need to offer your guest a frothy cappuccino or a hot cinnamon roll.

ANGEL: I don't.

LORNE: Man, you just get darker and darker. And the weird thing is, your aura? Beige.

ANGEL: I don't have coffee.

LORNE: (running his hand over the desk) Or a duster, buster. I don't know why you fired those three plucky kids. They were good company. Not to mention, Cordelia? Wooh! Hot-o-rama! In the 'oh my sizzling loins' sense of the word, if you know what I mean. And the British boy? He's gonna be playing a *huge* -- well.

ANGEL: Are you gonna get to the world ending or are you just gonna chat until it does?

LORNE: All right, all right! Although my buoyant good will falling on your deaf ears is something we'll need to look at in the future. The world ending? Huh, it's kind of a funny story. I'm at the club last night. Fairly typical Wednesday crowd. A Torto demon and his parasite were *murdering* the Everly Brothers ...

(We witness the singing. A horned demon singing a duet of "Bye, bye Love" with the head sticking out of his belly for the crowd of demons. At one table sits a young human male.)

LORNE: ... which is nothing compared to what Elian had done to my sea-breeze!

LORNE: (sipping and grimacing) Oh! Is this a difficult concept? Were we absent the day they taught sea-breeze in bartender school? Vodka, cranberry, *fresh* grapefruit juice. Which requires a real live grapefruit. One you must cut and squeeze, not pour from a can.

LORNE: ... Oh. The man is *such* a moron. You have no idea how I'm suffering since Ramone left.

ANGEL: Oh, I have an idea. Can you just get to the point already?

LORNE: Yes, I can, if you'd let me get a word in edgewise, Mr. Get-to-the-point-y-pants. So this guy I've never seen before gets up to sing. Usually I love it. You know, they sing, I read their futures, their auras, I see into their souls ...

ANGEL: So this guy ...

LORNE: The thing that was remarkable about him was there was absolutely nothing remarkable about him ...

GENE: (human in Lorne's flashback) This is a song that I like, because ...

LORNE: ... Just your average Joe about to mangle a tune and bore me with some bland vision of his bland future ...

LORNE: ... But when he started singing -- man, he knocked me out!

ANGEL: He was good?

LORNE: (laughing) No, Angel-face, he knocked me *out*.

LORNE: ... When I came to he was gone.

ANGEL: He didn't wait to hear what you saw on him?

LORNE: Nope-ah.

ANGEL: So what knocked you out?

LORNE: I looked into this guy and I saw -- he has no future after ten o'clock tomorrow night -- and neither does anybody else.

ANGEL: Let's say I do believe you.

LORNE: Oh, honey, let's say a lot more than that. We've got to find this guy. This is the big blackout we're talking about. This guy's gonna do something between now and tomorrow night. I don't know what, but it's gonna cancel *everybody's* summer plans. We got to find him and stop him.

ANGEL: Why'd you come to me?

LORNE: Isn't it obvious? You're a champion. A unique force for good in a troubled world. Also, all the other champions I know are currently out of town or -- dead. Why? You don't want to work with me? Is this because I sent you on a couple of missions that turned out to be a little ...

ANGEL: Pointless and deadly?

LORNE: As for example. But I sent you on those missions in good faith. And we interrupt this broadcast to inform you: world ending? Kind of an emergency situation here. You might want to get on board.

ANGEL: So why did this guy leave the club before you had a chance to tell him what you saw?

LORNE: People get scared. They come in for a reading, then they don't wanna know. Especially when the psychic faints and, uh! -- a teeny bit of vomit ... Lets, lets *not* dwell.

ANGEL: Maybe he's just a guy who likes to sing Karaoke. Maybe he doesn't know anything about you.

LORNE: That'd make more sense. So what we should do is to start with the other local Karaoke bars, see if we can get a lead on him. That is if you're not to busy getting lawyers killed and setting girls on fire.

• Angel & Lorne (the Host)
• Angel's Mission
• Funnies

written by: David Greenwalt; Original transcript by anonymous. Edited, formatted for this site & checked against source by chicken_cem. Checked against source by chicken_cem.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season2/transcripts/35_tran.shtml