(Outdoor Cafe - Day)

(Fred and Gunn at a table. Fred surrounded by spoils from her day.)

GUNN: Now, for out next item of pleasure: we got movies galore. You pick, hey, you wanna hit the twelve plex, see every preview? It'd be like seeing a years' worth of movies all at once. Somethin' wrong with your shake? It's your favorite, double mocha double whip.

FRED: I'm... kinda full.

GUNN: Oh my God, this is serious.

FRED: It's just, Sixth Street tacos, fish sticks at the Pier, Dodger dogs...

GUNN: Hey don't fold on me now, girl, we got a lot of fun to go today.

FRED: Oh... I'm all for fun... it's just, too much more and I might explode.

GUNN: Right. Sorry. No more food, but movie-club-shopping fun still to be had; hey, wanna go to roller rink?

FRED: Charles, I'm kinda wiped.

GUNN: Oh.

FRED: It's just that we've been having so much... fun today. Don't you think we should save some before we use it up and all the other people get sad... 'cause we took all the happy?

GUNN: God. I blew it. I tried too hard.

FRED: No. It's been like the most wonderful beautiful day ever, aside from the knot in my tummy. Being with you is always special. It's just, it's not like we have to cram the rest of our lives into one single day. Right? OH MY GOD. You did try too hard. You haven't been yourself all day. You're doin' all this becau... because something's wrong, something's terribly wrong.

GUNN: Fred no. No.

FRED: Charles, do you have leukemia?

(Beat, he laughs.)

FRED: Don't laugh at me! I see it on the news all the time: they're young and in love, their whole lives ahead of them when suddenly tragedy strikes...

GUNN: I'm not sick.

FRED: You're not? You promise?

GUNN: I'm not sick.

FRED: Oh thank God. I feel much better. Except for the terrible knot inside. Which isn't the food at all: it's us. What's wrong with us?

GUNN: It's nothing.

FRED: Oh that helped.

GUNN: Look, maybe we should just get out of here and go to the hotel.

FRED: Maybe we should stay right here and you should stop lying to me. I know something's wrong. Just be honest and tell me. Charles, Charles, Whatever it is we'll get through it together.

GUNN: No. We won't.

FRED: What?

GUNN: This isn't somethin' we're gonna talk through, you share your feelings, I share mine, then we'll have a big hug.

FRED: I don't think I like the way you're talking to me.

GUNN: Too bad.

FRED: why are you being so mean?

GUNN: I'm being honest. Isn't that what you want?

FRED: Yeah. Be honest. Is it me?

GUNN: Wow. You finally figured that one out.

FRED: What's wrong with me?

GUNN: Now I gotta make a list? I don't think I have enough time.

FRED: Are you joking? Charles... what's happening?

GUNN: What's happening is, you and me are over. Done.

FRED: No.

GUNN: Am I askin'? I'm tellin'. I've had enough.

FRED: I don't believe it.

GUNN: Better start.

(He gets up to go.)

FRED: But...but wait...wait.. is there someone else? What's her name?

GUNN: Her name is I'm a real woman, not a stick figure. Get the picture?

FRED: ...yeah.

GUNN: Good.

• Gunn & Fred

written by: David Goodman; Original transcript anonymous. Edited, formatted for this site and checked against source by ann.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season3/transcripts/62_tran.shtml