(Angelus sits, looking very studious, in a leather chair, reading. He's wearing glasses)

ANGELUS: (throwing glasses away) These aren't helping. (stands, walks toward the shopkeeper) Half of this crap is written in some archaic proto-demon-cuneiform, and I don't want to be rude, but I think the other half they just doodled. Now, don't make me puncture the other one, Reg. I just want to get some intel on this Beastmaster fellow. I mean, this is an occult shop, right? Like, your job is to help me.

SHOPKEEPER: I...don't...know—

ANGELUS: Sure you do. Has a penchant for rains of fire, blotting out the sun, (punches the shopkeeper) getting... (punches him again) inside.... (punch) your... (punch) head—

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Angelus!

ANGELUS: Hello, volume!

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: I am not well pleased!

ANGELUS: I am not well deaf.

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Do you think me blind, little man? That I don't see every move before you decide to make it? Dare to seek me out again, and your insolence will be punished ten-fold.

ANGELUS: Yeah, what're you gonna do, huh? Give me a migraine? (chuckles) You ethereal types with your big, swinging omniscience. When push comes to shove, though, you gotta send some overgrown slag-heap to do your dirty work. Ooh, that's real spooky. (looks at the empty floor where the shopkeeper was) Oh, that's great! You made me lose my shopkeeper.

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: This isn't the way, my sweet. We should be friends, you and I.

ANGELUS: No, and I'll tell you why. One, because, you know, I'm evil, so—the friends thing—that's out. And two, if I did have any friends, they sure as hell wouldn't be living inside my head.

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Like you're forced to live inside Angel's? (chuckles) Because you're the voice in there, aren't you? Just beneath the surface, buried under all that goodness, fully conscious, fully aware, but trapped. Unable to move or speak, powerless to act on your desires. So thirsty, so helpless...it must be agony.

ANGELUS: I'm getting real bored with this game.

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Then how 'bout a round of show-and-tell? Soul, soul, who has your soul? (the jar containing Angel's soul appears on a table in front of Angelus) Oh, right. Me.

(Angelus lunges for the jar and tries to grab it, but his hands go right through it like it was a mirage.)

ANGELUS: More smoke and mirrors?

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Only a glamour, yes, but I assure you, my sweet, this very moment I hold the real thing in the palms of my very corporeal hands, and I will restore it if you don't behave. I'll put you back in your box, Angelus, and bury you so far inside Angel, you'll never claw your way out again.

ANGELUS: All right. What do you want me to do... (grits his teeth) master?

• Funnies
• The Beast, the Beast's Master, Jasmine, etc
• the life & times of Angelus

written by: Steven S. DeKnight & Elizabeth Craft & Sarah Fain; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited and formatted for this site by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season4/transcripts/80_tran.php