WILLOW: Sounds like your mom's in a state of denial.

BUFFY: More like a continent. She just has to realize that I can't go away.

WILLOW: Well, maybe not now, but soon, maybe. Or maybe I too hail from Denial Land.

BUFFY: Faith's turn to the dark side of the Force pretty much put the proverbial kibosh on any away plans for me. UC Sunnydale – at least I got in. You! I mean I can't believe you got into Oxford!

WILLOW: It's pretty exciting.

OZ: That's some deep academia there.

BUFFY: That's where they make Gileses.

WILLOW: I know! I could learn and, and have scones. Although I-I don't know how I feel about going to school in a foreign country.

Xander is sitting at a nearby tree reading Jack Kerouac's On the Road.

XANDER: Everything in life is foreign territory. Kerouac. He's my teacher. The open road is my school.

BUFFY: Making the open dumpster your cafeteria?

XANDER: Go ahead, mock me.

OZ: I think she just did.

XANDER: We Bohemian anti-establishment types have always been persecuted.

OZ: Well, sure. You're all so weird.

WILLOW: I think it's neat, you doing the backpack, trail mix, happy wanderer thing.

XANDER: I'm aware it scores kinda high on the hokey-meter, but I think it will be good for me. You know, help me to find myself.

CORDELIA: And help us to lose you. Everyone's a winner.

XANDER: (getting up) Well, look who just popped open a fresh can of venom. Hey, did you hear about Willow getting into Oxnard?

WILLOW: Oxford.

XANDER: Oxford. And M.I.T. and Yale and every other college on the face of the planet. As in your face I rub it.

CORDELIA: Oxford? Whoopee! Four years in tea-bag central. Sounds thrilling. And M.I.T. is a Clearasil ad with housing. And Yale is a dumping ground for those who didn't get into Harvard.

WILLOW: I got into Harvard.

XANDER: Any clue on what college you might be attending so we can start calculating minimum safe distance?

CORDELIA: None of your business. Certainly nowhere near you losers!

BUFFY: Okay, you guys, don't forget to breathe between insults.

CORDELIA: I'm sorry Buffy. This conversation is reserved for people who actually have a future. (leaves)

OZ: An angry young woman.

WILLOW: Oh Buffy, she was just being Cordelia, only more so. Don't pay any attention to her.

XANDER: She's definitely got a chip going.

WILLOW: Maybe if you didn't goad her so much?

XANDER: I can't help it. It's my nature.

WILLOW: Maybe you need a better nature.

• Academics
• Funnies
• Xander & Cordelia

written by: David Fury; . Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/53choices.html