(At the Bronze)

YOUNG WOMAN: And it's not just the fact that he cheated. It's the way he cheated, you know? I mean we could have talked. I could have handled it.

ANYA: Uh-huh. I get it. Go on.

YOUNG WOMAN: You know what he is? He's spineless. Yeah, that's it, he's like this spineless little pig. And you know what I wish?

ANYA: God, do I want to!.

(fade to black. Commercial. resume)

ANYA: You were saying...

YOUNG WOMAN: Um, I want more quesadillas.

ANYA: Before that.

YOUNG WOMAN: A margarita.

ANYA: After that.

YOUNG WOMAN: Oh, yeah. God, my boyfriend's spineless, and he should just--you know, he should just be spineless for real.

ANYA: No spine. Got it. I can do that.

YOUNG WOMAN: What do you mean?

ANYA: See, honey, what I'm driving us towards here is sometimes, don't you just wish that-- Oh, penis!

XANDER:(to Nancy) Is this the one you talked to?

ANYA:(to young woman) I tell you what--why don't we put a pin in it? Why don't you get yourself a drink, and we'll pick it up in a few, OK?

ANYA: You guys, I am working here.

BUFFY: We noticed.

SPIKE: That's why we're here.

XANDER: Riiiight. Did you turn this nice lady's ex into a giant worm-monster?

ANYA:(laughs) Yes.

NANCY: No way. Are you saying that thing was Ronnie?

ANYA: You wish it, I dish it. I thought we were clear on this. I didn't think you were going to go all narc on me.

BUFFY: You wished your ex was a worm?

NANCY: Well, we were just talking.

XANDER: Anya has a way of making things happen.

ANYA: I had a quota; the guy had it coming. What's the big?

NANCY: I think I'm gonna be sick.

BUFFY: Anya, that thing you created burst through solid pavement and ate her dog.

ANYA: (squeaks) Ooh, puppy!

XANDER: Wait, that gets your sad noise? People's lives are in danger, and you give it up for the Yorkie?

ANYA: You never understood me, Xander.

NANCY: Xander, who is this woman?

XANDER: Anya, she's, um, Anya. My ex.

NANCY: Oh.

ANYA: Hey, nobody's bragging here.

SPIKE: (stopping Anya from leaving) Ah, ah, ah...

ANYA: Hey, hands off the merchandise. Spike, you don't get to go there again.

SPIKE: Please. I've already forgotten about our little time together.

NANCY: I thought you were Xander's ex-girlfriend.

ANYA: I am.

NANCY: But you and Spike...

ANYA: Had a thing.

SPIKE: Didn't last.

NANCY: But weren't you Buffy--

SPIKE: Briefly.

BUFFY: Never serious.

NANCY: Is there anyone here that hasn't slept together?

(Xander and Spike exchange a glance and then look away from each other too quickly.)

ANYA: Look, at least we're all bipeds, which is more than I can say for Ronnie, the worm boy.

BUFFY: OK, guys, can we focus here for just a second? Anya, this is Ronnie. OK? He wasn't a worm. Worms are like this big. This thing was like --

SPIKE: Sluggoth demon. Am I right?

ANYA: Maybe.

NANCY: Wait, I didn't wish for that. I mean, I don't even know what this whatchamacallit demon thing is.

SPIKE: Sluggoth demon. It's a very large, very nasty, natural predator who died around the crusades.

ANYA: Same phylum. It's not cheating, I just embellished.

XANDER: Well, you can un-embellish now.

ANYA: Bite me, Harris. I have rules to work with. Vengeance demon codes of conduct. But you'll never understand 'cause you're all still so... human.

• Anya's Demon heritage
• Funnies
• Spike & Anya
• Xander & Anya

written by: Douglas Petrie; Originally transcribed by: CariCranberry. Action descriptions & formatting edited by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/buffy/season7/transcripts/124_tran.php