(Cordy, Gunn & Wes are hanging out in the lobby. Fred arrives silently, startles Cordelia and Wesley)

GUNN: (not startled) Hey, Fred.

FRED: Sorry! Did - did I startle you guys?

WESLEY: No.

CORDELIA: Only in the sense of shocking and jolting us. What's up?

FRED: Nothing. Just taking a little stroll and... (looks at Cordy's open magazine) Why would girls wanna look like that? I spent years in a cave starving. What's their excuse?

CORDELIA: Fashion.

(Fred laughs. Stops, sits down beside Cordy and looks around the lobby.)

FRED: So - everybody's just reading and hanging out?

CORDELIA: Angel's upstairs.

FRED: Oh. - He's probably reading, too. He's so deep, you know? Thoughtful. I'm guessing The Brothers Karmazov, Joyce, a little Goethe to round things out.

(Angel arrives, brandishing a newspaper)

ANGEL: Am I the only one who read this?

WESLEY: Read what?

ANGEL: Charlton Heston. Double feature! At the Nu-art. Soylent Green and The Omega Man.

GUNN: (unenthusiastic) Wow.

ANGEL: It's two for one. Did I mention, Charlton Heston? Who's in?

FRED: (excited) That sounds great!

ANGEL: Fred. Wesley?

WESLEY: Well, I'm in the middle of translating Fassad's guide from the original Sumerian.

ANGEL: Gunn. Cordy?

(They don't even look up at him, so he goes to grab his coat.)

ANGEL: Looks like it's just you and me, Fred. Well, the worm certainly has turned.

FRED: (giggles) Y-y-yeah. The worm's turning and... (Stops smiling) Am I the worm?

ANGEL: No. You may not know this, Fred, but certain friends and co-workers have been known to accuse *me* of being the quiet, stay at home, sulky one. Some people just don't know how to have fun anymore.

• Angel & Fred
• Funnies

written by: Scott Murphy; Original transcript anonymous. Edited and formatted for this site by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season3/transcripts/48_tran.shtml