SPIKE: Honey, you?re home.

BUFFY: Yeah.

SPIKE: (re: scythe) And you did it. Fulfilled your mission, found the Holy Grail? or the holy hand grenade or whatever the hell that is.

BUFFY: Right now we?re going with scythe. You like?

SPIKE: Well, pointy and wooden is not exactly a look I want to know better but it does have flair. I can see why a girl would ditch a fella for one of these.

BUFFY: I?m sorry about that.

SPIKE: It doesn?t matter. You?re back in the bosom. All?s forgiven. And last night? It was just a glitch. A bit of cold comfort from the cellar dweller. Let?s don?t make a thing of it.

BUFFY: (evasive) Great. I have work to do.

SPIKE: Oh, yeah. Another solo mission, of course.

BUFFY: Yeah, it is.

SPIKE: (annoyed) That?s fine. You don?t have to get shirty about it.

BUFFY: I?m not shirty. And what is shirty? That?s not even a word.

SPIKE: All right, all right. Big secret mission. It?s fine.

BUFFY: It?s not a secret. Well, I mean, it is but that?s the point of the mission. Find out the secret. This thing was forged by? I don?t even know. I mean, something about a tomb on unconsecrated ground. That?s what I have to do. I need to find out what this is and why I have it.

SPIKE: And that?s the thing the preacher man was so anxious to keep out of your mitts?

BUFFY: That it is.

SPIKE: Well, maybe I?ll swing by the vineyard when you go, make sure he?s sitting tight.

BUFFY: Great.

SPIKE: Okay.

(An awkward silence, then Spike turns to leave he makes it to the back door before Buffy rushes to catch up with him.)

BUFFY: You?re a dope!

SPIKE: I?m a what?

BUFFY: You?re a dope and a bonehead and you?re shirty!

SPIKE: Have you gone completely Carrot-Top?

BUFFY: (re scythe) Do you see this? This may actually help me fight my war. This might be the key to everything. And the reason I?m holding it is because of you. Because of the strength that you gave me last night. I am tired of defensiveness and weird mixed signals. You know what? I have Faith for that. Let?s just get to the truth here, okay? I don?t know how you felt about last night but I will not?

SPIKE: Terrified.

BUFFY: Of what?

SPIKE: Last night was? (beat) God, I?m such a jerk. I can?t do this.

BUFFY: Spike?

SPIKE: It was the best night of my life. If you poke fun at me, you bloody well better use that ?cause I couldn?t bear it. It may not mean that much to you but?

BUFFY: I just told you it did.

SPIKE: Yeah, I hear you say it but? I?ve lived for soddin? ever, Buffy. I?ve done everything. I?ve done things with you I can?t spell? but I?ve never been close? to anyone. Least of all you. Until last night. All I did was hold you, watch you sleep? and it was the best night of my life. So yeah, I?m terrified.

BUFFY: You don?t have to be.

SPIKE: Were you there with me?

BUFFY: I was.

SPIKE: What does that mean?

BUFFY: I don?t know. Does it have to mean something?

SPIKE: No, not right now.

BUFFY: Maybe when?

SPIKE: No, let?s just leave it.

BUFFY: Okay.

SPIKE: We?ll go be heroes.

(he exits)

• Buffy & Spike

written by: Douglas Petrie and Jane Espenson; original transcript by Buffy vs Angel. Edited by me.. Full transcript at:
http://ww3.buffy-vs-angel.com/buffy_tran_143.shtml