Larry: Harris!

XANDER: Hey, Lar. You're lookin' Cro-Mag as usual. What can I do you for?

Larry: You and Buffy, you're just friends, right?

XANDER: I like to think of it less as a friendship and more as a solid foundation for future bliss.

Larry: So, she, she's not your girlfriend?

XANDER: Alas, no.

Larry: Do you think she'd go out with me?

XANDER: Well, Lar, that's a tough question to... No. Not a chance.

Larry: Why not? I heard some guys say she was fast.

XANDER: I hope you mean like the wind.

Larry: Yeah, you know what I mean.

XANDER: That's my friend that you're talkin' about!

Larry: Oh, yeah? Well, what're you gonna do about it?

XANDER: I'm gonna do what any man would do about it: (grabs Larry by the shirt) somethin' damn manly.

(Buffy saves Xander from a pummelling, disloding a soda can from the vending machine)

BUFFY: Ooo! Diet!

XANDER: Do you know what you just did?

BUFFY: Saved you a dollar?

XANDER: No, but Larry was about to pummel me!

BUFFY: Oh, that? Forget about it!

XANDER: Oh, I'll forget about it. In maybe fifteen, twenty years when my rep for being a sissy man finally fades!

BUFFY: Xander, don't you think you're...

XANDER: (interrupts) A black eye heals, Buffy, but cowardice has an unlimited shelf life. Oh, thanks! Thanks a lot for *your* help. (exits)

BUFFY: I think I just violated the guy code big time.

WILLOW: Poor Xander. Boys are so fragile.

• Xander & Buffy

written by: Carl Ellsworth; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/18halloween.html