ANGEL: This is war. 2 demon clans, the Vinjis and the Sahrvin. They've been battling it out for 5 generations.

GUNN: Way back when, clans got along OK. Shared a few hundred miles of desert, traded livestock, and even partied together once in a while. Then a Vinji used the wrong fork at a Sahrvin bonding ceremony. Sahrvins took offense, and they've been slaughtering each other ever since.

FRED: You're saying this whole thing started over a fork faux pas?

GUNN: They're pretty finicky about manners.

ANGEL: But the clans have agreed to negotiate a truce, here, tomorrow.

FRED: Why now?

GUNN: Demon rights activist by the name of Tobias Dupree got involved. He's liaison to both clans. Only guy in the world they all trust, and he called us for help.

WESLEY: Etiquette aside, the Vinji and the Sahrvin are notoriously vicious. Why not let them wipe each other out?

GUNN: Hey, I got no love for these guys, but we manage to push through a peace plan and the whole demon world's gonna know we got game.

FRED: That makes sense, in a kind of gray, Machiavellian kind of way.

ANGEL: Obviously both clans are sensitive to the smallest slight. We don't dot an i or cross a t, this whole thing could explode in our faces.

WESLEY: This is a complete list of manners and customs. We should probably all memorize this. Apparently, gazing at a Vinji's ankles can lead to eye gouging.

(Dan, the young man from the break room, walks up to the conference room door. Lorne notices him and waves him in.)

LORNE: Come on. Dandito, come on. He gets a wee shy around the big boss. All the way in, yeah.

DAN: I, uh, finished the seating chart.

LORNE: All right. This kid was up all night jigsawing who's going where tomorrow. He's a real up-and-comer, this one.

FRED: (to Angel) My lab managed that upgrade to the weapons scanner, like you requested.

ANGEL: Foolproof?

FRED: I'd say yes, but then some fool would just come along and sneak something past us, but it's still state of the art.

GUNN: And since none of the clan representatives speak English, I'll be doing most of the talking.

WESLEY: You?

GUNN: Yeah. Along with the law—and the Gilbert and Sullivan—also got me a few demon languages in the brain upload.

FRED: So, aside from forks, ankles, and us not knowing what they're saying, any other potential minefields?

ANGEL: All their etiquette issues go along with a healthy dose of superstition.

HARMONY: (butts in) You don't know the half of it. I've been doing a whole bunch of research on these guys, their customs and stuff? Did you know that they think poodles are wicked bad luck?

WESLEY: Harmony, I'm glad you're here. We'll be needing lunch.

GUNN: Good idea. We should order before the crush.

FRED: Not Thai again. Something lighter.

written by: Sarah Fain and Elizabeth Craft; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited & formatted by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season5/transcripts/5x09_tran.php