(Angel and Lorne are driving down the street in Angel's convertible.)

LORNE: So there is another gear after that number two thingy? (Angel gives him a look) Oh, relax. I'll pay for a tune-up. Unless the world ends, then I'm off the hook.

ANGEL: Well, if it saves you some money, then I guess it's a good thing.

LORNE: Oh, this whole sour pussy mode of yours, it's starting to grate. You know what your problem is? Are you listening?

ANGEL: Do I have a choice?

LORNE: Your heart isn't in it anymore.

ANGEL: I don't have a pulse so technically I don't have a heart.

LORNE: Technically, someone puts a stake through it, you don't have anything anymore. So, Bubba, your heart counts.

ANGEL: I have no idea what you're babbling about.

LORNE: Yes, you do. If the world were to end tonight, would it really, in your heart of hearts, be such a terrible thing? (Angel doesn't answer) Now, now, sweetie, is that a fun place to be?

ANGEL: I think you should shut up now.

LORNE: I'm the Host. Have you met me? I never shut up. You pushed your friends away. You went from helping the helpless to hunting down the guilty. Blood vengeance is a luxury of the lesser beings. You're a champion, Angel. I mean, you were, at least.

ANGEL: What do you want me to tell you?

LORNE: Everything. What's in your heart, why you stopped caring. You know, the whole ball of wax, so I can help you get back on your path. No need to rush, we got time. You know -- not a *lot*.

LORNE: La la la li, du du dum ...

ANGEL: You want to know what my problem is? I'm screwed. That's my problem. I can't win. I'm trying to atone for a hundred years of unthinkable evil. News flash! I never can! Never gonna be enough. Now I got Wolfram and Hart dogging me, it's too much! Two hundred highly intelligent law-school graduates working fulltime driving me crazy. Why the hell is everyone so surprised that it's working? But no, it's "Angel, why you're so cranky?" "Angel, you should lighten up. You should smile. You should wear a nice plaid."

LORNE: Oh. Not this season, honey.

ANGEL: Redemption. Darla had a shot at redemption. They took it from her. Now I have to hunt her down and kill her. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna kill her, and then I'm gonna burn that law firm to the ground. My crew -- they couldn't handle that. That's good. It means that they're still human. It means their better off being fired.

LORNE: Kinda left 'em in the cold.

ANGEL: It's a lot colder in here.

LORNE: It's not always gonna be this way. The song changes. Unless, of course, we don't get there on time, in which case you'll be frozen in this *crappy* mood forever. Shudder to think.

ANGEL: We'll get there.

LORNE: Look out! (Thet hit someone.)

(They get out to find out what they hit, but when they turn the body over it turns out to have been a Lubber demon. More Lubber demons converge on them from all sides, carrying axes.)

(Angel fights the Lubber demons. Two of them go for Lorne. Lorne lets out a loud high note, causing them to drop their axes and cover their ears in pain as we hear some glass shatter. He kicks one between the legs and hits the other across the chin, dropping them both.)

LORNE: Hurry!

(They get in the car and leave.)

• Angel & Lorne (the Host)
• Angel goes dark
• Angel's Mission
• Funnies

written by: David Greenwalt; Original transcript by anonymous. Edited, formatted for this site & checked against source by chicken_cem. Checked against source by chicken_cem.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season2/transcripts/35_tran.shtml