Ted: We thank you for what we are about to receive, and we ask that you bless this house, and help the people in it to be more productive, more considerate and more honest. Amen.

JOYCE: Amen. Well, another great day at work! How was school today, Buffy? Did you learn anything?

BUFFY: Quite a bit.

Ted: Good for you! Well, Joycie, what do you think?

JOYCE: I think every home should have one of you. It's fantastic! (to Buffy) Don't you think?

BUFFY: Looks good.

Ted: Well, you know, little lady, it's not just for looks, it's for building strong bodies.

JOYCE: Honey?

BUFFY: Are you two engaged?

JOYCE: Goodness, no! Whatever gave you that idea?

Ted: Now, Joycie, let me handle this. Buffy, your mother and I are taking it one step at a time. And if things go the way I hope, maybe someday soon I just might ask her to tie the knot. How would you feel about that? (silence from Buffy) It's okay to have feelings, Buffy, and it's okay to express them.

BUFFY: I'd feel like killing myself.

JOYCE: Buffy!

Ted: No, no, I, I told her to be honest. (to Buffy) Sweetheart, you should try and get used to me, 'cause you know what? I'm not going anywhere.

BUFFY: (to Joyce) May I be excused?

JOYCE: You can go to your room, young lady, that's where you can go.

• Buffy & her mom

written by: David Greenwalt & Joss Whedon; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/23ted.html