XANDER: Man, this is killing me! That bastard was up to something, I know it. If I could just get my hands on him...Earlier this week.

CORDELIA: I thought you liked him.

XANDER: I sometimes like things that are not good for me. Besides, no way, no how does Buffy put the big hurt on an innocent man. Nice Uncle Ted was dirty.

WILLOW: We've gotta prove that somehow. Xander, do you have a pen?

XANDER: If Buffy has to go to jail because of that creep I'm gonna lose it. He's gotta be in there, Will. Uh, history of domestic violence, a criminal record? (finds a zip-lock bag) Ooo! Cookies!

CORDELIA: I don't get it. Buffy's the Slayer. Shouldn't she have...

XANDER: What, a license to kill?

CORDELIA: Well, not for fun. But she's like this superman. Shouldn't there be different rules for her?

WILLOW: Sure, in a fascist society.

CORDELIA: Right! Why can't we have one of those?

WILLOW: Buffy's not going to jail. It's not fair.

GILES: Whatever the authorities have planned for her, it can't be much worse than what she's doing to herself. She's taken a human life. The guilt, it-it's, it's pretty hard to bear, and it won't go away soon.

CORDELIA: I guess you should know, since you helped raise that demon that killed that guy that time?

GILES: Yes. Do let's bring that up as often as possible.

• Cordelia's unique world views
• Slayerhood

written by: David Greenwalt & Joss Whedon; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/23ted.html