(Angel & Groo wander through the demon brothel)

ANITA: Oh, I love your outfits.

ANGEL: Well, I really wouldn't call them 'outfits.'

ANITA: But you are together.

GROO: (puts a hand on Angel's shoulder) Yes! Two champions here together.

ANGEL: (pushing Groo's hand off) Not 'together' together. Just 'get the potion' together.

GROO: So I may com-shuck my princess.

ANGEL: Just to reiterate, (Angel points at himself) *not* the princess...

He's distracted by an open door into a reddish room, watching a couple having a pillow fight.

ANITA: The room is enchanted. Everything that happens in there, every touch, every emotion, every desire is extended for maximum pleasure. I can check the schedule if there is someone special you would like to bring.

(Anita takes a hold of Groo and leads him down the corridor, after a moment Angel turns away from the room to follow.)

ANITA: Just right in here.

(Anita leads Groo into a big bedroom. A man wearing dress pants and shirt is manacled to one of the walls.)

MAN: Oh, hello.

GROO: Fear not, friend. We are here to save you!

(Groo rushed over and tries to pry the shackles open.)

MAN: Hey! Get off!

ANGEL: Groo! Groo, I think he's happy there.

GROO: As a slave?

MAN: Don't judge me.

ANGEL: Come on. (To man) Sorry. (To Anita) If you'll just give us the potion, we'll be...

ANITA: You brought cash?

(he gives it to her. she magics a potion.)

ANITA: Make sure to tell your princess to drink it all at once.

(Groo takes the bottle and Anita looks at Angel.)

ANITA: I know why your earnest friend is here, but why are you? What's in it for you?

(Angel just stands there looking at Anita, ignoring the ringing of his cell phone.)

GROO: Angel, your coat is singing.

ANGEL: (phone) Hello. - What? Gunn? I can barely hear you.

(We see Gunn and Fred wrapped in a net of roots in what looks like a cave.)

GUNN: Yeah, reception's not so great, is it?

ANGEL: Where are you?

GUNN: Under Plummer park.

ANGEL: Under it?

GUNN: Pretty much. We were tailing that woman's fiancé...

FRED: Jerry.

GUNN: ...and we kind of lost him.

FRED: But then we found him - sort of.

GUNN: Him *and* his date. Some root-crazy, tree-like demony thing.

FRED: With what looks like a DSL connection. We're pretty sure he chats up lonely hearts online, and then sucks them down here for food. Or maybe it gets its power that way.

GUNN: Monster's got a big, old, leathery joint jammed up into guy. I think it's sucking the life out of him.

ANGEL: What... have you called Wesley yet?

GUNN: We were kind of hoping we wouldn't have to.

ANGEL: I don't understand.

FRED: We just didn't want to bother him with this.

ANGEL: Bother him?

GUNN: Look. Nothing against Wes, but I'm not sure he can help us out at the moment. What we really need...

(Angel listens to his phone.)

ANGEL: Oh. Ah-huh.

(Angel turns and holds the phone out to Groo)

ANGEL: Uhm. It's for you.

• Angel & the Groosalug (Groo)
• Funnies

written by: Tim Minear & Jeffrey Bell; Original transcript anonymous. Edited and formatted for this site by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season3/transcripts/58_tran.shtml