CORDELIA: What? I knew you'd be here. Buffy, I, uh, I, I know we've had our differences, with you being so weird and all, and hanging out with these total losers... Ooo! Well, anyway, despite all of that, I know that you share this feeling that we have for each other, deep down...

WILLOW: Nausea?

CORDELIA: Somebody is after me! They just tried to kill Ms. Miller? Uh, she was helping me with my homework. And Mitch! And Harmony?! This is all about me! Me, me, me!

XANDER: Wow! For once she's right!

BUFFY: So you've come to *me* for help.

CORDELIA: Because you're always around when all this weird stuff is happening. And I know you're very strong, and you've got all those weapons... I was kind of hoping you were in a gang. Please! I don't have anyone else to turn to!

GILES: Please. Sit down.

CORDELIA: Okay. Thanks.

GILES: You know, I... I don't recall ever seeing you here before.

CORDELIA: Oh, no, I have a life.

BUFFY: Okay. Cordelia, your attacker is an invisible girl.

XANDER: Who is really, really angry at you, which I... can't imagine personally, but it... takes all kinds, y'know?

CORDELIA: Well, I don't care what it is, just get rid of it!

BUFFY: Well, it's not that simple, it's a person, it's... (shows her the yearbook) It's this person. Now, do you have any idea why she'd be so...

CORDELIA: Oh, God! Is she really wearing Laura Ashley?

XANDER: So homicidal?

CORDELIA: I have no idea! I've never seen this girl before in my life!

• Cordelia & Buffy
• Cordelia & Scoobiage
• Funnies

written by: Ashley Gable & Thomas A. Swyden; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/buffy/season1/transcripts/11_tran.htm