BUFFY: Alone at last.

XANDER: Buff, give me a heart attack!

BUFFY: Oh, I'm gonna give you more than that.

XANDER: Buff, for the love of God, don't open that raincoat.

BUFFY: Come on! It's a party! Aren't you gonna open your present?

XANDER: It's not that I don't want to. Sometimes the remote impossible possibility that you might like me was all that sustained me. But not now. Not like this. This isn't real to you. You're only here because of a spell. I mean, if I thought you had one clue what it would mean to me... But you don't. So I can't.

BUFFY: So you're saying this is all a game?

XANDER: A game? I... No!

BUFFY: You make me feel this way, and then you reject me? What am I, a toy?

XANDER: Buffy, please calm down.

BUFFY: I'll calm down when you explain yourself!

Amy: Get away from him. He's mine.

BUFFY: Oh, I don't think so. Xander, tell her.

XANDER: What? I, uh...

Amy: He doesn't have to say. I know what his heart wants.

BUFFY: Funny, I know what your face wants. (punches her)

BUFFY: What is this, you're two-timing me?

Amy: Goddess Hecate, work thy will.

XANDER: Uh-oh. Before thee let the unclean thing crawl!

(Buffy turns into a rat)

XANDER: Buffy! Oh, my God!

• Xander & Buffy

written by: Marti Noxon; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/28bewitched.html