LORNE: It'll be fabulous. Believe me, Jerry. Yes. It's Grapes of Wrath in outer space. Uh-huh. Oh, it's got heart. Yes, it's got laser battles. It's got a timely message of interstellar poverty. Uh-huh. Listen, have your assistant call my assistant. We'll set something up. Good enough.

(he takes a different phone from his assistant)

LONRE: J.C., Listen, just got off the Nextel with big B. Yeah, intrigued, but wants to know who's playin' Tom Joad. Uh-huh. Well, I'm pretty sure that Henry Fonda's dead, sweetie. Yeah. Bring him back to life? Let me talk to my science people. OK, no promises. (to his assistant) Directors.

(he walks up to Harmony's desk in the lobby)

LORNE: Harmonica!

HARMONY: Lorney-tunes!

LORNE: Ohh, the eyes, the hair, the dress. It's no wonder the fourth floor has a crush on you. Hey, tell me, priceless, where do I find Angel?

HARMONY: Just called. He's on his way back in from a field mission, though I wouldn't, if I were you. He sounds like he's in a mood.

LORNE: Oh, don't worry, darlin'. I've pulled the big boy out of many a brood-fest. It shouldn't be that— (Lorne turns to see Angel walk into the lobby covered in slime) Eww.

WESLEY: Angel, how did the new neural-intercept grenade work?

ANGEL: It didn't.

WESLEY: Right. I'll take it down to Fred and have her look at it.

LORNE: Hey, Angel-heart— (calls after Wes, who's walking away) Hey, Wes, if you see Fred, can you have her pencil me in for later? I gotta talk to her about Henry Fonda's big comeback.

WESLEY: All right.

LORNE: Angel, Angel. We've gotta have a confab. Es muy importante—

ANGEL: Uh, or—wha—

LORNE: Uh, it's about the party? I've done all I can do for the big to-do, but we've still got a few bugs to comb out of the cootie garage. A bridge too far? Uh, let me try it again. Uh—

ANGEL: Look, Lorne, I've been out all night, OK? I'm beat up, I'm exhausted, I'm covered head to toe in Thraxis blood, which actually kind of burns, so this is all gonna have to wait until I take a shower.

(starts to shut the door)

LORNE: You killed the Thraxis?

ANGEL: Shower.

(shuts the door in Lorne's face)

LORNE: (to his assistant) Hey, Van, look, why don't we, uh, scratch the Thraxis off the invite list, and, uh—oh, hey, you got a copy of that print ad we're gonna run this week?

VAN: Yes. Right.

LORNE: What is this? Wolfram & Hart wants to be up your alley? Sounds like a bus station pick-up line. Change it. Second thought, burn it. Grab yourself a bagel or something, too. You look a little waxy.

• Angel & Lorne (the Host)
• Funnies

written by: Ben Edlund; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited & formatted by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season5/transcripts/5x05_tran.php