XANDER: Okay, now I really think we've lost them.

CORDELIA: Damn it, Xander, what's going on? Who died and made *you* Elvis?

XANDER: Buffy's house. Let's get inside. I'll explain later.

CORDELIA: Come on!

JOYCE: (opens the door) Xander, Cordelia, what...

CORDELIA: Yeah, hi.

JOYCE: What happened? Why are you all scratched up? Where's Buffy?

XANDER: She's, um... around.

JOYCE: Well, sit down and tell me about it. (to Cordelia) Why don't you run upstairs and grab some bandages out of the bathroom? (Cordelia exits) Let me, uh, get you something to drink. You in the mood for cold or hot?

XANDER: I, uh...

JOYCE: I think it's (starts rubbing his shoulders) more of a *hot* night, don't you?

XANDER: Whatever.

JOYCE: (massages his shoulders) Ooo, you are so tense. (kisses his neck) Mm.

CORDELIA: What are you doing? Make me yak!

JOYCE: (defensive) Cordelia, go back upstairs. This is between us.

CORDELIA: Gross! I think not.

JOYCE: What are you doing? Hey! Get your hands off me!

(Cordy chucks her outside & locks the door)

CORDELIA: And keep your mom-aged mitts off my boyfriend. Former! (to Xander) Why has everyone gone insane?

XANDER: Insane? Is it so impossible for you to believe that other women find me attractive?

CORDELIA: The only way you could get girls to want you would be witchcraft.

XANDER: That is such a...Well, yeah, okay, good point.

Joyce breaks one of the kitchen door windowpanes.

CORDELIA: Oh, my God!

JOYCE: Xander, honey, let Joycie in. Hon, let Joycie in!

XANDER: Upstairs! Buffy's room!

JOYCE: Sweetheart...

XANDER: Good. The mob still hasn't found us. We should be safer up here.

Just as he looks back from the window Angelus grabs him from outside.

Angelus: Works in theory.

CORDELIA: Xander!

• the life & times of Angelus
• Xander & Cordelia

written by: Marti Noxon; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/28bewitched.html