BARTENDER: (singing off-key) Lady your love's the only love I need and beside me is where I want you to be (voice cracks) You're my lady— (talking) She's gonna say no, isn't she? I should've gotten a bigger ring.

LORNE: (unethusiastic) A June wedding. There's rain, so get a tent.

BARTENDER: She's gonna say yes?

LORNE: Ain't love grand?

BARTENDER: (excited) I'm getting hitched?

LORNE: Yeah. More sea, less breeze, huh?

BARTENDER: (pouring) From now on, your money's no good here.

LORNE: All right.

BARTENDER: I was wondering, about the possibility of a Carlos Junior? What do you think?

LORNE: What do I think? I think I'm tired. I think I'm sick and tired of wearing bells on my toes and making like everything's gonna be OK. I think it's pathetic that lately I'm too scared and sad to tell people the truth so I just say what they wanna hear instead. Most of all, I think the term Happy Hour should be banned from the English language. There's nothing happy about this hour or any other.

BARTENDER: (uncomfortable) Oh.

LORNE: What I know is I started drinking the moment that I found out that a girl I loved was gonna die. Every time I get to the bottom of the glass, I hope that that last drop is gonna take me the distance. (sips)

BARTENDER: OK.

LORNE: A simple plan that failed utterly, which is why I'm gonna heave my tuchis off this stool, strap the bells on, and with a smile and a quip, go back into the belly of a very ugly beast and pretend like I can help. Hmm. 'Cause that's what the green guy does.

(pays the bartender and exits)

written by: Elizabeth Craft & Sarah Fain; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited & formatted by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season5/transcripts/5x17_tran.php