(suddenly something smashes through the window. it's a rock with a note attached)

XANDER: (reads) "Slayer, come out and die."

(The "i" in "die" is dotted with a smiley-face)

HARMONY: (from outside) I'm waiting for you, Buffy! I know you're in there!

(cut to Harmony at the front door's threshold, arguing with Xander)

HARMONY: What do you mean, she's not in there? She has to be. I'm calling her out!

XANDER: Then I bet she'll be real sorry she missed your call. 'Fraid you and your buddies are gonna have to come back and be killed by Buffy later.

HARMONY: They're not my buddies. They're my minions.

XANDER: They're ... what now?

HARMONY: Minions! You know, lackeys? They work for me.

HARMONY: What's so funny?!

XANDER: Nothing! What could be funny, just "Look out, it's a terrifying Harmony gang, ooh!"

HARMONY: Stop laughing!

(she tries to attack him, but she can't go past the doorway. Dawn ducks behind Anya. Xander continues laughing)

XANDER: I just, I just can't picture anyone pathetic enough to be following- Is that Brad Konig? Huh! Hey Brad, who'd have thought when you were beating up kids in gym class, you'd end up Harmony's lapdog?

BRAD: Screw you, Harris.

HARMONY: You should know all about being somebody's lapdog. I hear you were a good little puppy for Dracula.

XANDER: (stung) You heard wrong.

HARMONY: (laughs) Don't feel bad. I hear that mind-control thing he does works really well on weak fraidy-cat losers. You didn't stand a chance.

DAWN: (still behind Anya) Shut up!

XANDER: Dawn, I'm handling this.

(he turns back to Harmony)

XANDER: Shut up, Harmony!

HARMONY: Make me.

XANDER: Fraid I don't feel like getting into another hair-pulling contest with you.

HARMONY: You're the hair-puller, you big girl!

DAWN: Oh yeah? Come inside and say that! Xander will kick your-

ANYA: Dawn, no!

written by: David Fury; transcribed by Joan the English Chick (pisces@englishchick.com). Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/80realme.html