ANDREW: Oh god, oh god, oh god.

WARREN: Her neck. It just...

JONATHAN: No, that's ... not... This isn't happening.

WARREN: I just, I gotta ... I gotta, lemme think.

JONATHAN: (tearful) What did you do? What the hell did you do?!

WARREN: *We* did this. Me, and Andrew, and you. It's on all of us.

ANDREW: ...oh god oh god oh god...

WARREN: Shut up!

WARREN: We, uh, we have to get ... we have to get r-rid of it.

JONATHAN: How?

WARREN: Uh, uh, may-maybe a spell. Can you teleport it out of here?

JONATHAN: No, she's ... (upset) It's too big.

WARREN: Andrew. Andrew!

ANDREW: What?

WARREN: Is there any ... thing that you can, uh, summon, something that... something that can devour that much?

ANDREW: Maybe a Jarvlen Flesh Eater, but ... they're hard to control. It'd go for us, too.

JONATHAN: (upset) Oh, well that's it, man. We're screwed.

WARREN: No, we just have to stay calm.

JONATHAN: Tell that to your girlfriend!

WARREN: Ex-girlfriend!

JONATHAN: It doesn't matter! There's a link. You knew her, so there's a link. You don't think Buffy'll be able to put that together? That's what she does, she'll figure it out!

ANDREW: It was an accident. Maybe if we turn ourselves in-

WARREN: No.

JONATHAN: He's right. If we go to the police now-

WARREN: I'm not going to jail.

JONATHAN: We can't hide this! Sooner or later, the Slayer's gonna find out she's dead.

WARREN: Well, then maybe it should be sooner.

JONATHAN: Are you insane?

WARREN: Listen to me.

JONATHAN: No!

WARREN: Listen! We have two problems. The body, and the Slayer. Well, what if there was a way that we could take care of them both ... with one big stone.

• Buffy vs the Legion of Dorkness (Trio)

written by: Steven S. DeKnight; transcribed by Joan the English Chick (pisces@englishchick.com). . Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/113deadthings.html