BUFFY: Okay, that's it. The invalid amnesiac routine is over. The kitchen is closed until you can tell me something useful about the commandos.

SPIKE: I'm tryin' to remember. It was very traumatic.

BUFFY: How long are you going to pull this crap?

SPIKE: How long am I going to live once I tell you?

GILES: Look, look, Spike - we have no intention of killing a harmless.. uh, creature.. but we have to know what's been done to you. We can't let you go until we're sure that you're .. impotent -

SPIKE: Hey!

GILES: Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we're sure you're, you're..

BUFFY: Flaccid?

SPIKE: You are one step away, missy.

BUFFY: (Sarcastically) Giles, help! He's going to scold me.

(Spike growls, trying to grab Buffy, but the chains hold him)

BUFFY: You know what? I don't think you want us to let you go. Maybe we made it a little too comfy in here for ya.

SPIKE: Comfy? I'm chained in a bathtub drinkin' pig's blood from a novelty mug. Doesn't rank huge in the Zagut's Guide.

BUFFY: You want something nicer? Look at my poor neck. All bare and tender and exposed.. all that blood just .. pumping away..

(Spike, by this time, is all but licking his lips)

GILES: Oh, please.

SPIKE: Giles, make her stop.

• Buffy & Spike
• Funnies

written by: Tracey Forbes; Transcribed by Collie. (Paranoia@slayme.com). Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/65somethingblue.html