XANDER: Cordelia, you haven't been mean to me all day. Is it something I've done? (to Willow) Okay, see how she has no clue that I'm even a mammal, much less a human being?

WILLOW: I see that.

XANDER: This is the invisible man syndrome. A blessing in Cordelia's case. A curse in Buffy's.

WILLOW: You're not invisible to Buffy.

XANDER: It's worse! I'm just like a part of the scenery, like an old shoe. Or a rug that you walk on every day but don't even really see it.

WILLOW: Like a pen that's all chewed up, and you know you should throw it away, but you don't, not 'cause you like it so much, more 'cause you're just used to...

XANDER: Will, yeah, that is the point, you don't have to drive it through my head like a railroad spike. I'm gonna take your advice and not beat around the bush.

WILLOW: Or I could be wrong! Maybe you should beat around the bush more.

XANDER: Nah, I gotta be a man and ask her out. Y'know, I gotta stop giving her ID bracelets, uh, subtle innuendoes, taking Polaroids outside of her bedroom window late at night, that last part is a joke to relieve the tension because here she comes. Okay, into battle I go. (quickly turns to Willow) Would you ask her out for me? No. Man. Me battle. (to Buffy) Buffy! Would you like to, uh...

BUFFY: Is that even Cordelia's locker?

(Cordelia gives up trying to open the locker and continues down the hall.)

XANDER: Huh? Oh, I don't know. What I'm saying is accompany me Friday night...

BUFFY: Xander, I have to, um... We can make this up later. You don't mind, do you?

(She gives him her book and follows Cordelia. Xander whistles the sound of a bomb falling and exploding.)

• Xander & Buffy
• Xander & Willow

written by: Dana Reston; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/03witch.html