“Are you stupid?” he growled at her as he emerged from the shadows the following night.
 
She bristled, well this was a nice…. ‘Hello, sorry about last night, I was a moron, and I won’t do it again’ … from her supposedly loving boyfriend. “I don’t know, Angel, why don’t you tell me. It seems to be what you are good at lately!” Daggers flew from her eyes. “Look, is there gonna be a point here sometime soon? Cause you know, work to do, vampires to dust,” she looked at him pointedly as she spoke. Now where did that come from, she wondered. She wouldn’t dust Angel. She knew that, she loved him... didn’t she? It was just that lately he was being so insufferable and he just made her so mad.
 
“Spike is dangerous, Buffy, what don’t you understand about that? I mean the fact that he has tried to kill you several times should be enough of an indication, you’d think! Yet last night I see him walking you to your door, what’s with that? And a goodnight kiss? Want to explain that one? You think that is acceptable slayer behaviour? You are supposed to be better than that! He is a soulless murderer or had that escaped your keen notice?” The anger was rolling off him in waves, his normally dark eyes were black pits of fury.

Silence stretched between them for what felt like hours. “Well, Buffy? I’m waiting... waiting for you to explain it to me. To explain what the hell you were doing kissing Spike." With a sneer he added, "It’s a shame you didn’t remember last night that you have a job to do, isn’t it?”
 
“What, are you following me now? Making sure I’m a good little girl and do as you tell me, is that it?” Her fury matched his and then surpassed it. “What that was with Spike was none of your business, that’s what it was! How dare you spy on me? How dare you treat me like I am some pathetic little girl who needs you to hold my hand and keep me safe? I am The Slayer, Angel, have you forgotten what that means? I can take care of myself! And in answer to your question I am thinking that, yeah, maybe I am an idiot, for putting up with the way you treat me. The way you are always telling me how I should act and what I should do, where I can and can’t go. This can’t go on, Angel. This isn’t a relationship, a relationship is two people who care about each other and treat each other as equals—to you I will always be someone you need to protect, to control. God what do you think you are, my father or something? We are over, Angel. Just…just leave me alone, ok?”
 
She ran as fast as her Slayer strength would allow, not caring where she was going, just wanting to get away, as far away as possible from this man she had thought she loved, this man she thought had loved her. She realised now that all it had ever been was safety, Angel was big and strong and dangerous and he made her feel safe in this big scary life that she had never asked for, the life of the Chosen One. The more she thought about it the more she knew it had never been love for either of them, ok sure there was attraction, mutual attraction, but love…no…just a co-dependency, she wanted to feel safe and he wanted to protect the innocent, shape the Slayer to be his ideal of what she should be.
 
Finally she stopped running, where was she? Wow she had come a long way. She needed to talk, to cry on someone’s shoulder, to rant, to rave…Willow, she needed Willow. As she made her way through the dark streets of Sunnydale towards Willow Rosenberg’s house she reflected on the people in her life since moving here. Willow was her best friend, she could tell her anything and knew that they would always be there for each other, and Will was smart too, really smart like major book learny type smart. Then there was Xander, he was, well, Xander. He could make you laugh when there was absolutely nothing to laugh about, he was loyal and brave, though not so good on the strong and coordinated side. But there you know, even when it was hard, well impossible and it looked like there was no way they were gonna make it through, he was there and doing the best he could to help. He also had a way of seeing things that was different to everyone else, it was like he could see right to the heart of things sometimes, when everyone else was busy looking at the big picture Xander could look straight through it all to the crux of the matter.
 
Giles, her Watcher, he was so stuffy sometimes and very little sense of humour, although he was getting better, he even made a joke the other day, granted it wasn’t funny and really kinda lame but hey improvement! Giles was smart though, smart like Willow but in a wise way. He was also kind and caring, she loved her Watcher like the Dad who actually could be bothered with being there unlike her real one who, well, couldn’t!
 
She was on Willow’s street now and as she approached the house she checked for signs that anyone was awake in the Rosenberg household. All quiet, good. She made her way up to Willow’s bedroom window and tapped softly, “Will, wake up, it’s me I need to talk to you.” The girl inside the room stirred in her sleep rolling over and rubbing sleep from her eyes she focused on the window, “Buffy? What is it what’s wrong, is it an apocalypse?”
 
“No Will, not an apocalypse, just a need to talk”
 
“Come in.” Willow opened the window and beckoned Buffy inside. “What is it Buff?” she asked as they sat back on her bed leaning on copious amounts of cushions and stuffed animals.
 
Buffy proceeded to explain to Willow all about the fights she has been having lately with Angel and how he is constantly trying to control her, she did not, for reasons that she wasn’t entirely sure about mention the blonde vampire or his gift to her. In the months since Buffy and Spike had started their tenuous friendship she had not mentioned him to anyone, at first it was too weird, the vampire that had tried so many times to kill her suddenly saving her life, then it was just altogether too difficult to explain, her friends and her Watcher just wouldn’t have understood why or, for that matter, how she could trust him, all she knew was she did.
 
“So I told him it was over” she told Willow, the first trace of a sob catching in her throat. She looked beseechingly at her friend for confirmation that she had done the right thing, that she wasn’t just throwing some stupid juvenile tantrum.
 
“Oh Buffy, I am so sorry, but you did the right thing, really. I mean who does he think he is coming over all I’m the big man and you are just the helpless female. Just cause he’s like 400 years old or something and, yick, any way he’s old enough to be your….”
 
“Don’t go there Will” Buffy was smiling now, even though tears were trying to well in her eyes, she just kept dashing them away, she knew she could count on Will to make everything alright.
 
“Wanna stay, we can sneak downstairs and have ice cream and stay up all night talking” Willow bubbled hopefully.
 
“Love to Will but Mom is taking me to the Mall tomorrow to pick something out for my Birthday and I just know she will be in to wake me up EARLY so I better get home. Thankyou so much, you always make feel better!”
 
“Glad to be of help, just call me…that thing that you call people who make other people happy” she finished with a half smile and a shrug.
 
“Night Will” Buffy smiled at her friend as she climbed back out the window.
 
“Night Buffy, see you tomorrow night ok, have fun at the mall. And Buffy, don’t worry, you know about the ‘Angel’ stuff, I’m sure everything will work out the way it’s supposed to – you know maybe you guys just weren’t meant to be. I’m sure ‘Mr Perfect for Buffy’ is out there somewhere and you just have to wait till you find him. Does that sound all sappy and Mill’s and Boonsy cause if it does, well you know, sorry, its just that’s what I believe, that when it’s the right someone you just kinda know it” Willow flushed bright red as she looked at her friend nervously, hoping she hadn’t just made a complete fool of herself.
 
Buffy smiled, her own cheeks reddening with embarrassment, “Yeah, that’s what I think too, and well I love Angel, I do, in a way, I mean he is all talk dark and handsome and all that, but it isn’t that ‘forever’ love that I just know is out there!” Buffy laughed, “I guess we are just a pair of hopeless romantics hey? Oh God don’t EVER let Xander hear us talking like this, we would never live it down.”
 
The two girls hugged before parting ways both feeling a little embarrassed still at having exposed their overly romantic side and yet knowing that their friendship was all the closer for it.