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Thank you to Tales of Spike for the quick read through! **hugs**
“I’m not really sure. I mean it is a big decision and I have been very happy here.” Anya frowned, confusion and indecision written clearly on her face. On one hand she was rather happy to have been given the offer, and it was very tempting, really; all that power, not to mention the immortality. And it’s not like she wasn’t entitled to a little vengeance after what Xander had done.
On the other, she no longer felt quite so inclined towards vengeance as she had only a few short weeks ago. Had the offer come then she no doubt would have jumped at it. Now she was not so sure.
She liked her life the way it was now. It had taken some time, but the pain had slowly lessened until almost miraculously one day she had woken to realise it was not there at all, and she couldn’t quite place the point at which it had gone away. Her life now was filled with laughter, and friendship and good conversation. Real conversations about many differing topics, of which not one had so far involved comics, superheros or snack foods or, for that matter, any other topic that required her to feign interest in order to not offend or hurt anyone’s feelings.
“Surely you cannot expect to live off this man’s generosity indefinitely?” Hallie asked, managing to make the question more of a rebuke than a simple enquiry.
“Well I hadn’t really thought about…”
“It really isn’t right. I am sure he was quite happy to offer you refuge in the beginning, but really Anyanka there comes a point where one is simply taking advantage. I am sure he is simply too well bred and well-mannered to ask you to leave and is waiting for you to show some common decency and move on. The man is not your father, no matter how much he may have taken on the role of father-figure to yourself and your little Scubby friends.”
“Scooby,” Anya corrected automatically as she contemplated her friend’s words. Was she taking advantage of Giles’ generosity? She hadn’t thought so. Certainly he had never given her reason to believe she was outstaying her welcome, but then as Hallie had pointed out he was a very well-mannered man, far more so than Xander had ever been, so perhaps she was and he just hadn’t wanted to say anything.
“Excuse me?”
Anya blinked, her mind quickly recapping in search of the latest thread of their conversation, “Oh. The cultural reference you mentioned, it is Scooby not Scubby. A strange talking dog with an eating disorder and an unfortunate tendency to find itself in trouble.” Her brow creased once more as she mused, “I never did understand why they used that particular reference, I mean it’s not like any of them are canine. Although there was a werewolf at one time, but that was before Willow turned gay and started sleeping with Tara. Of course they aren’t sleeping together any more not since Willow used that spell that made us all forget…” Her mind drifted to the consequences of that particular spell; remembering how nice it had been, how skilful Rupert’s lips were, the way his hands had roamed across her body, how good it had felt when he…
“Whatever.” Halfrek announced testily. Sipping delicately at her tea the dark-haired woman casually waved her friend’s words away before continuing, “The point I am making, my dear, is… at a time like this you should be with your family. Those who know you best. And really it is a very generous offer. Not one D’Hoffryn has ever made to anyone before. You are really rather privileged.”
“Yes,” Anya smiled wanly, “I realise that. And it isn’t that I’m not grateful for the offer. And it really would be nice to be able to spend more time with you; after all we have always had a great deal of fun together. It’s just that… It is so peaceful here and Rupert is very good company and he has promised to take me to London to see Cats, which while I am not entirely sure I understand the point of, is said to be a ‘delightfully enthralling experience, not to be missed.’ So you see I really wouldn’t want to disappoint him.”
Everything was happening so quickly and she wasn’t quite sure how to deal with all the different emotions that her friend’s visit had stirred. Unable to sit still she quickly gathered up their cups and carrying them to the kitchen stacked them neatly next to the sink so she could wash them later. “On the other hand,” she continued, walking back into the dining room to rejoin the vengeance demon, “if, like you say, he is just being nice—and he really is very nice—then maybe he would prefer to take his orgasm-friend, the one who came to Sunnydale that time we all lost our voices.”
A sudden thought struck her and she wondered out loud, “She never seems to come around, which is strange because Rupert is a very good looking man, nicely shaped and with a very handsome face. He is also very athletic and I am sure he would give many satisfying orgasms. But she doesn’t come to visit him. Maybe it is because I’m here?” This last thought made her sad; she did not wish to be causing a disruption in his life. He was her friend. Much more so now than he had been back in Sunnydale.
Then she had been his business partner, only they had really never discussed the business together. She had also been Xander Harris’ girlfriend and, later, fiancée… not really even a proper member of their elite little Scooby club. None of them had ever taken her seriously, nothing she said had ever been given any value, instead it was merely dismissed as Anya’s foolish ramblings.
Now he listened to her when she spoke, gave her his full attention, laughed with her when she was happy and comforted her when she was sad and hurting. He treated her like she mattered, like her opinions, her needs and desires were important—not only to her, but important to him also. She enjoyed their walks together, their trips to the theatre, the home-cooked dinners, and the gentle, unhurried pace of life in Bath. It was amazing how different life was here, compared to the action packed rollercoaster ride that had signified their time in California. Although there were demons here, for the most part they were the peaceful, harmless variety and in no way infringed on their current lives.
Their lives? When had she come to think of things in that way?
Was that what she was doing? Moving into his life, his home… without any consideration of what his feelings on the matter might be? That thought made her uncomfortable. She knew she had not liked it, all the times she had been taken for granted, her thoughts and her feelings deemed insignificant in the light of what others wanted. The thought that she might be treating her friend in the same way upset her.
With a deep sigh Anya looked up from where, during the course of her internal debate, she had been staring blindly at her perfectly manicured her nails. “Maybe it would be best if I returned to Arashmaha.”
Halfrek’s wide, beaming smile should have made her feel good about her decision to return home to the demon realm, it should have, but it didn’t. For some reason the smile didn’t quite seem to make it to the other woman’s eyes and at her friend’s rushed insistence that she collect her belongings so that they could be on their way now before Rupert returned from his meeting in London, Anya balked.
“Please tell D’Hoffryn that I will give him my final decision tomorrow.” she insisted firmly, “I need to speak to Rupert. To say goodbye.” she added sadly.
*****
Anya folded the clothes neatly, placing them carefully in the small suitcase. Her eyes slowly swept over every detail of the neat, tidy little room that over the last few weeks had come to feel like home. Brushing impatiently at the tear that stole slowly down her cheek she sighed and returned once more to her packing. She knew she had made the right decision, that it was wrong of her to take advantage of his friendship any longer, but the thought of leaving left her with a pain in her heart, the kind of pain that had become increasingly less familiar since her arrival here in Bath.
the end