"Anyone But You"
Author: Michelle
Email: michellabella52478@yahoo.com
Notes: Yeah, right. The lyrics are to "Take a Bow" by Madonna and "Hopelessly"
by Rick Astley.
Additional Notes: // \\ denotes flashback.
I
walk the wire every night
I can't decide between wrong and right
I've
lost control over the things I wanna do
'Cause I'm hopelessly falling in love
with you
Buffy quietly knocked on her parents' bedroom door, not wanting to wake her mother in case she was resting. In the week since the surgery, Mrs. Summers had been given a perpetually clean bill of health. The doctor was able to remove the tumor and was fairly certain it hadn't spread throughout the rest of her body. So she'd returned home the following evening, the night Buffy and Riley broke up.
"Come on in, honey," her mother called, sitting up in bed. Her doctor wanted her to take it easy for a few weeks. Which meant a lot of bed rest.
"Were you sleeping? If you were I can come back," Buffy said. Mrs. Summers shook her head, patting the empty space next to her. "No, I wasn't sleeping. Sit down and tell me what's bothering you."
"How did you know?" she wanted to know, taking a seat as her mother suggested.
"Call it mother's intuition. Besides, you've been walking around like a zombie ever since Christmas. Something is on your mind. What is it?" The teenager took a deep breath. What she was about to tell her mother she hadn't told anyone else. "I broke up with Riley last week."
"I assumed as much, particularly when you didn't spend New Year's Eve with him. Do you want to tell me about it?" she asked.
"I guess. I haven't really told anyone else. You know, I never broke up with a boy before, and it was harder than I thought. Riley and I just weren't compatible and it felt like I was being unfair to him. I couldn't stay with him when I don't feel the same way he does." She gauged her mother's reaction. "Does that even make any sense?"
"It makes total sense. More than you know. What did you tell him?"
"That I have too much on my mind to be the kind of girlfriend he deserves. But he didn't accept it; Riley called it a cop-out, and he was right. It was, in a way."
Her daughter's admission did not come as a surprise to Mrs. Summers. She suspected something more was going on. "What would the real reason be then?"
"It wasn't like I flat-out lied to him, Mom. I didn't. I knew I couldn't be a good girlfriend to him. Not when he didn't understand exactly what I was going through with you."
"Did you give him that opportunity?" her mother questioned. When Buffy didn't reply, she got her answer from the silence. "I thought so."
"I didn't want his pity!" she defended herself. "Or anyone's for that matter. So I didn't tell anyone. Well, mostly anyone."
"Buffy, that's why you have friends. You need people to confide in, people to turn to when stuff like this happens. It's not good to keep it bottled up inside."
"I didn't keep it inside. That's not my style." Breaking down, she put her head in her hands. "Mom, I'm so confused."
Mrs. Summers put her arms around her obviously upset teenage daughter. "What's confusing you?"
"My feelings. Have you ever been friends with a guy and then start to feel weird around him? Like, you get this strange feeling in the pit of your stomach whenever you think about him? Or whenever he's around?"
"What do you mean?"
"I have this guy friend. He's great; he's easy to talk to, he listens to my babbling, he understands me and he can make me laugh. And he helped me out a lot when you were sick. Only I'm starting to think of him as more than just a friend now," she admitted. "I don't know what to do about it."
"Is he the reason you broke up with Riley?"
Buffy shrugged, not really sure of the answer. "Yes and no, I guess. I don't know. It wasn't a conscious decision."
"Well, have you told him how you feel?" Mrs. Summers wanted to know.
"Not lately," she said, recalling the day Liam left for Los Angeles and how he hurt her after her admission of love. "Let's just say it's been a long time."
"Maybe you should tell him. Liam has a right to know."
"You're right. I *should* tell him." Buffy paused, her mother's statement finally sinking in. "What did you say? Who?" Mrs. Summers grinned knowingly. "I think you heard me. Am I right? It is Liam, isn't it?"
"Yes," Buffy responded sheepishly. "Oh god, is it that obvious?"
"No. A mother knows these things. Besides, I think you two would make a cute couple. One thing I can say, it's been a long time coming. You've had these feelings for him since you were a child."
"You know, I told him I loved him a few years ago. Right before he left Sunnydale. And do you know what Liam said in return? That he hated me. It makes me a little scared to tell him how I feel again."
"I'm sure he didn't mean it when he that said it before."
She nodded in agreement. "He apologized when he came back." She laughed. "He's apologized more times than I can count. And he's really been there for me since you got sick; I find myself enjoying being around him. I look forward to being around him."
"Then you should tell him, Buffy. Before someone steals him away for good."
Now the one who never took a chance
Becomes a victim
of circumstance
I've lost my way and I'm so confused
'Cause I'm hopelessly
falling in love with you
She walked into school the next morning with a pounding heart and sweaty palms. She'd hardly slept a wink the night before, frazzled nerves keeping her awake. Today she would tell Liam O'Neal how she felt, come hell or high water. And she'd say it as soon as she saw him. Which didn't take long; he stood by his locker, unpacking notebooks from his backpack.
"Hi, Liam," she greeted, giving him a nervous smile.
He looked up, seeing Buffy standing to his left. Seeing her made his heart skip a beat; he hadn't seen her since his trip to Los Angeles for the holidays. He had been purposely avoiding her while trying to sort things out. "Hey, Buff. I haven't seen you in forever."
"Seems like it. How was L.A.?" she asked.
"It was fine, but I missed everyone back in Sunnydale. Does that make me a loser?" he questioned jokingly.
She giggled. "Hardly. Willow gave me the Christmas card you bought. Thanks a lot."
"No problem. I actually agonized over whether or not to buy you something, but I didn't know what you wanted or needed. So I decided on a card. It's simple," Liam said.
"And cheap," Buffy added.
He smirked. "And cheap. How's your mom doing? You didn't call me with an update last week."
"She's okay. The doctor who did the surgery is fairly positive he got it all and that it didn't spread. Everyone's keeping their fingers crossed."
"When I was away, I'd been thinking about you…and your mother. I hope you know you can still call me if you need me. Even if it's just to talk."
"I know." 'Okay, Buffy, it's now or never. Do it,' she coaxed herself.
"Liam, there's something I want to tell you. Riley and I–"
Before she could finish the sentence, Cordelia interrupted her by shouting her boyfriend's name from a few feet away. "Liam!"
Liam plastered a grin on his handsome face. It was fake, and he knew it. Seeing the expression on Buffy's face, he thought she knew it, too. "Hi, Cordy. I thought you were going to be in Aspen until the end of the week."
"Change of plans." She put her arms around Liam and gave him a sound kiss on the lips. Buffy had to look away. When Cordelia noticed they had company, she scowled. "Oh. You're here."
"Liam and I were talking," Buffy stated, a biting tone to her voice. 'Now go the hell away!'
"That's nice. Liam, would you walk me to class? I want to give you your Christmas present." She glared at Buffy for a moment. "And I don't really want an audience."
"Sure. Buffy, we'll talk later. After school." Giving her a wave, he took Cordelia's hand and they headed in the direction of her homeroom. Dejected, the blonde slumped against the lockers. "Later. Yeah right. I just lost my chance. Why am I kidding myself? Cordelia's perfect. What teenage boy in his right mind would choose me over her?"
All my dreams are far behind
me
They don't matter anymore
I don't care about the things I could lose
'Cause I'm hopelessly falling in love with you
"Where have you been lately?" Willow asked her best friend at lunch.
"It feels like you've been avoiding the gang ever since before Christmas."
Buffy picked at her chicken sandwich and fries on the tray in front of her. She wasn't feeling very hungry; hadn't since her conversation with Liam three hours earlier. "I haven't felt like myself. Stuff has been going on."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Yeah, I do," she answered with a nod. "It's my mom. They found…they found a brain tumor."
"Oh my gosh, Buffy! Is she okay?"
"So far so good. She had surgery on Christmas Day to have the tumor removed. But the news is pretty positive so far. Dad and I are being cautiously optimistic."
Willow bit her lip, not quite sure what to say. 'If only Liam were here. He could say something inspirational, or at least something that'll make sense.' "That's good, right? Can I ask how long you've known?"
"About a month."
"A month? Why didn't you tell me before now?"
"I didn't want too many people to know. Which I know is a totally lame excuse," she tried to explain. "I never even told Riley what was going on."
The redhead took a sip of her Diet Pepsi. "Maybe if you'd told me, I could have helped.. Okay, not really, but I could have listened at least. In fact, if you had told Liam, he could have been able to give you some advice. One of his best friends had a brain tumor." She purposely left out the fact that Paige died from it.
"He knew," Buffy stated, not looking at her friend.
"What? How did he know?"
"I told him. He found me crying on the back porch the night I found out. Coincidentally, it was the same night he went out on his second date with Cordelia. Liam was so concerned and I couldn't very well lie to him."
Inside, Willow's heart was breaking. She could see in her mind's eye the two of them sitting on the porch at night, clinging to one another as they shed tears over their sickly loved ones. "Wow. My brother was really there for you, wasn't he?"
"He was. And I'm grateful."
"Um, how did Riley take it when you told him? Not about your mom, but about my brother helping you through it? It couldn't have made him very happy."
"Not very well. It upset him a lot. In fact, I've never seen him so mad," Buffy told her. "And me breaking up with him the day after Christmas didn't help matters much. Needless to say, he probably hates me."
Willow's eyes widened. "You broke up with him? Why? I thought you two were really happy."
"It wasn't working out. End of story."
Out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of Cordelia and Liam making their way to the table full of her friends. The tall brunette cheerleader grinned triumphantly at her friends while her boyfriend looked like a cross between a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car and a man headed to his execution. A part of her felt sorry for him, the other part felt no sympathy whatsoever. Liam made his bed, now he had to lie in it.
Seeing where her best friend's attention wandered to, Willow finally understood what was going on. "I don't think that's the end of the story, Buffy. Did you break up with Riley because of my brother?" she questioned.
"What makes you think something like that?"
"Because as soon as he walked into the cafeteria you started wearing 'lost puppy dog' face. Which directly translates into 'I love Liam' face on you. I know that look very well. You wore it all the time when we were kids."
Buffy shrugged. "Not like it matters. He's with Cordelia Chase."
"Oh please. Do you honestly believe he'd be with her if he knew you were interested in him? No way. Have you told him you broke up with Riley?" Willow wanted to know.
"No. I tried to this morning but you-know-who interrupted us. Will, I don't want you to tell him, at least not the reason why. I need some time to sort out my feelings."
"Are you worried Liam will reject you? Trust me, he won't. He'll drop Cordelia like yesterday's news."
"That's not it. I just don't think I'm ready to handle having a boyfriend right now. And I don't want to hurt Riley. He deserves better than that."
Willow shook her head. "Just tell him the truth. You're making a big mistake if you don't."
"I guess we'll find out, won't we?"
Now the one who always played it safe
Becomes another who's lost his way
I can't believe it although I know it's true
'Cause I'm hopelessly falling
in love with you
"Are you going out with Cordelia tonight?" Willow asked her brother after dinner that night. She'd entered his bedroom and found him fixing his hair in the mirror.
Catching his sister's eyes in the mirror, Liam nodded. "Yep. We're Bronzing it. I'm meeting her there in half an hour."
"You know, Buffy told me about her mother. And about you."
"Oh." 'Great. Here comes the lecture,' he thought, applying more hair gel to his brown spikes. "And?"
"And I wanted to say how great it was of you to help her through it. Most guys your age wouldn't have bothered to take the time," she complimented. "Most guys would have taken advantage of a situation like that."
"I'm not most guys," he said.
Willow smiled sweetly. "Yeah, I know. But I don't think you realize just how much it meant to her. You gave Buffy hope, Liam."
"I didn't do anything special. I saw her crying and we talked. Eventually, I told her about what I went through when Paige got sick. Anybody with a heart would have done the same thing," Liam stated.
"But she didn't tell anybody else. Does that tell you anything?"
"Buffy did not want sympathy or pity." He turned around to face his younger sister. "What exactly are you getting at, Willow?"
"Nothing. Did you hear that Buffy and Riley broke up the day after Christmas?"
Liam shook his head, wondering what his sister was trying to tell him. "No, I hadn't heard. Buffy didn't tell me." 'Why didn't she? I thought we agreed she could tell me anything.'
"She tried to this morning, and might have if you'd have given her a chance. Instead you ran off with Cordelia. Tell me, who's more important to you? Your girlfriend or your friends?" the redhead demanded.
"That's not fair, Will," he shot back.
"Neither is ignoring your friends, especially when one of them is trying to pour her heart out to you. She was about to tell you something possibly life-changing and you walked away."
"I didn't know," he admitted. "What was she going to say? Do you know?"
She frowned. "Ask her. But I don't know if she'll tell you now. You were a jerk, Liam, and you really hurt her. Buffy broke up with her boyfriend to be–" She managed to stop herself before she blurted out the whole truth. If she had, Buffy would never have spoken to her again.
"Forget it. Have a good time with Cordelia tonight. I hope it was worth it."
"Willow!" he called as she walked out of the room. When she didn't answer, Liam dropped to the bed and stared at the wall. "I am a complete idiot. I probably ruined my one and only chance of being with Buffy. Way to go, Liam."
And
all my dreams begin to blind me
And I was so confused
And I don't care
about the things I could lose
'Cause I'm hopelessly falling in love with you
The day before the Sadie Hawkins Dance at the end of April, Buffy stood on the platform overlooking the dance floor of the Bronze. Leaning against the railing, she sighed and bit her lip. It didn't seem fair to her that almost all of her friends were there with dates. Willow and Oz sat at a table not far from the dance floor, Liam and Cordelia were slow dancing, and even Xander had a date with Anya Emerson, a transfer student. The fact that she was alone weighed heavily on her mind.
She didn't see the good-looking blonde boy approach her. "Hey," he said, waiting for her to acknowledge him. When she turned around, he smiled. "I'm Ben. We had Algebra together last year."
Buffy looked closely, but couldn't place him. "Sorry. I pretty much repress anything math related."
"Miss Jackson? Second period?" Ben asked, hoping to jog her memory. "You sat in the seat three over, one behind."
"Oh yeah, I remember now! It's the one with the desks and the pencils and the chalkboards, right?"
"That's the one."
She pointed to her head. "Like a steel trap."
Ben couldn't help but laugh at her. He'd been dying to ask Buffy out but never had the opportunity to do so until now. "So, I was wondering about the dance tomorrow night. Are you going?"
Scrunching her nose and making a face, Buffy blinked. "The Sadie Hawkins thing? The deal where the girls ask the boys?"
"Yeah. And I thought maybe, if you're free, you might ask me," Ben suggested.
"Oh gosh. I–"
Ben understood without being told what her answer was going to be. "Oh hey, hey. Don't worry about it."
'Great job, Buffy.' "No, no, you seem like a really great guy. It's me. I'm not seeing anybody. Ever again, actually."
She could see the devastation written on his face. "Oh. That's – that's too bad. Okay, well, I better…" He looked down and walked away.
"Sorry," she whispered, even though Ben was too far away to hear her apology.
Immediately hating herself for the way she acted, Buffy decided it would be best if she left the club. With a frown, she headed down the stairs to the ground floor. No sooner had she made it to the bottom when she bumped into Willow.
"Hey! You bailin'?" the redhead questioned.
Buffy nodded. "Yeah. I'm gonna head home, see if my mom needs anything at the store, then sack it."
"You've been doing that a lot lately. Seeing and sacking. In fact, you've kinda been all-work-and-no-play Buffy," Willow commented.
"I play," she defended. "I have big fun. I came here tonight, didn't I?"
Willow shot her a look. "You came, you saw, you rejected."
"You mean that guy? I'm just not in date mode right now."
"Well, maybe you need to date to get in date mode."
"That's the last thing on my mind, Will. I don't need a boyfriend; I don't even think I could handle having one right now," Buffy told her.
She raised her eyebrows. "Not even if Liam asked you out?" she asked.
"Not like it'll happen," the blonde said. "He has perfect Cordelia on his arm. How can I compete with that?"
"You don't have to."
"I don't want to is more like it. Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, really I do. But I've given up. Your brother has had over three months to ask me out and he hasn't. I'd say his feelings are fairly obvious. I can't stay here and watch Cordy drape herself all over him. It's like she's throwing her victory in my face."
Willow felt bad for her friend. One of these days, her brother will wake up and see what a great catch their neighbor was. "Don't go. Just stay for a little while longer. Sit down with me and Oz. You can even sit with your back to the dance floor so you don't see them. If you want, we can draw a picture of Cordelia on a napkin and you can poke toothpicks into her like a voodoo doll."
She laughed at her friend's attempt at making her feel better. Willow was trying her best to keep the situation from being uncomfortable. "All right. But only because you asked nicely."
I'm
not gonna fight it
I'm gonna choose
To hopelessly fall, ooh yeah
You
know I hopelessly fall in love with you
"We're still going tomorrow night, right?" Cordelia asked her boyfriend as they slow danced.
"Huh? What?" he asked.
She sighed, annoyed that Liam wasn't paying attention to her. "Are you even listening to me? Tomorrow is the Sadie Hawkins Dance. We're going, aren't we?"
"I don't remember you ever asking."
"I'm asking you now, you dolt. Where has your mind been? Because it certainly hasn't been with me. Is there someone else?" She laughed at her question. "Never mind. How could there be? *Who* could there be?"
"Sorry," Liam apologized. "My mind wandered for a minute there. Yeah, I guess we're on for tomorrow. Now that I think about it, I'm looking forward to it." Cordelia grinned. "Terrific. Let's sit down, I'm getting tired. Not to mention my feet are killing me in these shoes."
"All right. Willow and Oz are sitting down, we can join them," he suggested.
"Do we have to?" she complained. "We could sit with my friends. It'll look much better."
He glared at her. They'd shared many conversations regarding to her nasty comments about his friends. Liam understood she didn't like them, but if he had to suffer sitting with Harmony, Aura and Michelle one more minute, he'd go insane. And Cordelia could offer the same courtesy of having to put up with his friends. "No. Either we sit with my friends or we go home. Your choice."
"Fine. We'll sit," she relented.
Liam led the way to the table. As they approached, he was pleasantly surprised to find Buffy sitting there with them. Seeing her always brought a smile to his face. "Hey, guys. Mind if Cordy and I join you?"
"Sure," Willow replied unenthusiastically. Stealing a quick glance at Buffy, she found the blonde examining her nails.
"Great." The couple sat down, Liam choosing the chair closest to Buffy. "How are you doing?" he asked her.
She shrugged. "Okay. How about you?"
"Not bad."
"Liam and I are going to the Sadie Hawkins Dance together," Cordelia stated, trying to draw the attention onto her. "Will you guys actually be attending?" Oz nodded his head. "Yeah, Wills and I are going. Should be a rousing good time."
"You know, we should all get a table and sit together. I think Xander and Anya are going, too," Willow informed them.
"Sounds good," Liam agreed. "Buffy, who did you ask?"
"I'm not going."
Cordelia smirked. "What's the matter, Buffy? Nobody freakishly loser enough to actually be seen in public with you? What a shocker."
"Cordy, blow it out your–"
"Okay, stop it!" Liam interrupted. "Either get along or leave. I'm sick of hearing everyone argue."
Buffy stood up. "Fine then. See you guys later. Have fun at the dance." Grabbing her purse, she walked in the direction of the exit.
With an unspoken push from Willow, Liam got out of his chair and chased after the petite blonde. "Buffy, I'm sorry," he said when he caught up with her. "I never meant for you to leave. I just wanted you guys to stop arguing." "Don't apologize. It's getting late anyway, I should head home. I've overstayed my welcome," she said.
"Cordelia's a bitch."
"If you're expecting an argument, you won't find one. My feelings for her are quite well known."
"So I noticed. Please don't leave on my account," he requested. "It would mean a lot if you stayed. For me. Please."
She smiled at his invitation, but couldn't accept. "As sweet as that sounds, I can't. I'll see you at school tomorrow morning."
As he watched her walk out, obviously upset with him, Liam questioned what he was even doing with Cordelia, especially when the girl of his dreams was free to be with him.