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The funeral had been this afternoon. So many people, so many flowers, so much food had come in and out of the house. Buffy sighed as she locked the kitchen door and walked tiredly up the stairs. The Scooby gang had left a couple of hours ago each with a hug and warm words. Hank Summers had left shortly after for the return trip to LA. Hugging each of his daughters and telling Buffy they would talk next week about Dawn. He didn't want to upset her anymore then necessary now.

The true father figure in Buffy's life was Rupert Giles, she realized this now more then ever as Giles picked up the cups and plates from the living room and took them to the kitchen washing and drying each cup and plate while Buffy and Dawn absentmindely told him where they belonged in the cupboard. He wouldn't let either of them do any of the cleaning up. Buffy sent Dawn up to bed as she gave him one last hug, assured him they were okay and sent him on his way.

Dawn was waiting for her upstairs. She was changing into her pajamas, Buffy had told her that she could sleep with her tonight. Dawn, however was not in Buffy's room when Buffy reached the room she was across the hall, lying on Joyce's bed. She looked even smaller propped up on a pillow in the large bed. Her face was swollen from crying, in her hands she held a tattered book.

"Dawn." Buffy said her name softly as she entered the room.

"Can we please sleep in here?" Dawn asked simply.

Buffy looked around the familiar room and winced at the memories of mother still so fresh here. "Are you sure?" Buffy asked as she slid into the bed next to her sister.

Dawn shook her head solemnly and handed Buffy the book she was holding. Buffy let out a small smile when she saw the book, a very old copy of "Green Eggs and Ham". Dawn returned her smile with a small one of her own. "Will you read it please? Remember how mom would read it when we were home sick or when we had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep when we were little?"

Buffy nodded at her as a fresh tear ran down her cheek. Dawn spoke, "I know it's not a real memory Buffy," Her voice cracked as she contnued "But it's all I have."

Buffy gathered the younger girl close to her. Her own tears falling into Dawn's dark hair. She pulled away and settled into the bed she opened the book and began to read. Her voice was soft as she read the familiar words, "I do not like them, Sam I am, I do not like green eggs and ham."

Dawn joined in "Would you eat them in a box? Would you eat them with a fox?"

"I would not eat them in a box, I would not eat them with a fox. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Sam I am." Buffy answered.

They were both smiling when the book was done. They settled under the covers and Buffy turned out the bedside lamp. They lay quietly for several moments.

"Buffy." Dawn spoke in a whisper.

"Yes."

"It smells like her on the pillows. How long will that last? How long will we be able to smell mom? I don't want to lose that, I want to walk in here and see her and smell her perfume and hug her and have her run her hand through my hair and tell me it's all wrong - that she is still here." Dawn sobbed as Buffy reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Buffy, I know it's wrong but I'm mad at her!" Dawn raised her voice in the dark room. "She left us, how could she do that? We need her." Dawn began to cry softly again.

"She would have stayed if she could, Dawn. She loved us, both of us." Buffy sat up and turned the light on again. Dawn sat up next to her.

"I know, I'm sorry I said that." Dawn whispered.

"It's okay. Everything is going to be okay. Let's get some rest." She turned left the light on until Dawn was sleeping. Then she turned it off again and closed her eyes wondering just how she was going to make it okay. *How was it ever goign to be okay again?*

Below the dark house a tall man stood against a tree in the front yard. He had watched the comings and goings since dusk hidden across the street. But now as he watched the light go off and on in Joyce's bedroom he decided that his visit should wait until tomorrow.

Angel walked away wondering if this had been a good idea, would he just cause her more pain? Or could he actually offer some comfort?

Buffy woke early momentarily confused about whose bed she was in. It only took a glance at Dawn curled up in the bed to realize she was in Joyce's bed. Her mother's bed, Joyce would never sleep here again. Her bed was the satin pillow in the pastel pink coffin that Buffy and Dawn had chosen. Tears threatened to spill yet again but she fought them back. She had to be strong, he mom needed her to be strong for Dawn. She had promised to take care of her no matter what.

Dawn rolled over and opened her eyes. She seemed to be slightly confused as to where she was also, but when she met Buffy's eyes she sighed. Sitting up on the bed she asked in a small plaintive voice, "It wasn't a nightmare, was it?"

Buffy scooted next to her and stroked her hair, "No, it wasn't. But today is a new day. Aunt Sylvia wanted to take us to dinner, but I want to get started on the thank you notes. Mom had so many friends that I didn't even know , so many flowers and so much food. Why don't you go with Aunt Sylvia - it might make her feel better too?"

"Okay, I'll go." Dawn said hesitantly. "Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine." Buffy ruffled her hair, "Let's go get some breakfast."

The day seemed to pass slowly for the sisters. Everywhere they looked, everything they touched reminded them of Joyce Summers, her imprint was in every room of the house.

They spent the afternoon going through picture albums of when they were younger, when Joyce and Hank were still married. And even though they knew the pictures were fabricated, it still gave them comfort to see the photos. They laughed out loud over one of Joyce in the hospital with Dawn as a squalling infant, big sister Buffy grinning at the baby from her daddy's arms. zMore pictures of a proud big sister holding the baby at home and a zoo trip where Buffy had insisted on pushing Dawn in the stroller. They laughed some more and they cried some more. Each remembering a time when daddy was so important to them.

Dawn looked worriedly at Buffy, "Do you think he'll make me live with him?"

"Let's not worry about that now, Dawn. Let's just get through one day at a time." Buffy told her as she stacked the photo albums on the table. There was no way she was going to let Hank take Dawn - but she wasn't sure how she wanted to let him in on the secret of his youngest daughter.

Dawn dressed for dinner as Buffy made apologies to her aunt about missing dinner. Sylvia hugged her tightly before she left with Dawn. Buffy sat down to the task of writing thank you notes. She was a quarter way through the list when the doorbell rang. She stood and stretched before answering the door. She was halfway expecting Giles to come by and check on them.

Buffy called "I'm coming," as the door bell rang again. She opened the door to find that her company was not Giles.

"Angel?" She said simply.

"I had to come." He answered as he walked past her into the house.

Buffy closed the door and turned to him. *Angel, Angel is here.*

She stood staring at him unsure of what to say, she finally blurted out "Thank you." And began to cry again.

Without a thought Angel gathered her close to him, letting her soak the front of his shirt with her tears. He held her for what seemed like an hour letting her sob gently against him. When she began to calm down, he pulled away slightly from her leaving his arms around her, wanting to see her face. "I'm so sorry, Buffy."

She stepped away from his embrace then and walked into the living room. He joined her on the couch. "I wish I could have been the daughter she wanted. Buffy said softly as she played with the fringe on a sofa pillow.

"You were, Buffy. She loved you more then anything." Angel reached over and pushed her hair from her eyes.

"No, I was a worry for her. I probably contributed to her illness, all the stress from trying to live with a daughter who slayed vampires. I think she would have preferred normal." Buffy sighed as she looked into his eyes.

Angel met her gaze, "Don't ever think that, Buffy. She woulnd't have traded you for anyone. I know how much she loved you. When she came to see me before the Prom... " Angel quickly stopped talking as he watched the expression on Buffy's face at his words. He had said too much.

"The prom? My mom came to see you before the prom? Is she the one who convinced you to come at the last minute?" Buffy asked seriously.

Angel was caught off guard by the question and hesitated with his answer, "Umm, well, yes she did." *So much better for her to have that memory of Joyce.*

Buffy watched his eyes closely and she knew he was lying, "She came to you before you broke up with me, didn't she?"

Angel sighed and nodded , "Yes, she did, Buffy. But it was only because she cared."

"She wanted you out of my life, didn't she?" Buffy's voice was rising now her eyes full of tears again. "You left me because my mom wanted you too?"

"It wasn't like that, Buffy. Joyce said she knew that I cared for you." Angel tried to defend Joyce.

"She knew you *cared* she couldn't say *loved*? She damn well knew that I did more then *care* about you - she knew how much I loved you!" Buffy stood now pacing the living room. "I can't believe she did this to me."

"She knew you would be better off in the long run without me, Buffy. She wanted you to be happy and have some kind of normalcy." Angel told her as he stood and placed his hands on her shoulders to stop her pacing. "She loved you."

"She loved me enough to send away the man I loved. How very thoughtful of her." Buffy's sarcasm made Angel wince, she then turned on him, "And you...you went along with her, you left me! "

"Buffy..." He said calmly as she tried to hug her to him, she pulled away from him.

"Don't touch me. I think it's best if you go." She turned and walked towards the door and opened it.

Giles stuttered a "Hello, Buffy," before she pulled him into the house and slammed the door.

"Did you know?" Buffy screamed at him.

"Know what?" Giles asked confused. He then noticed Angel standing off to the side. He wasn't really surprised to see the vampire. "What is she talking about?" He directed the question to Angel.

"Joyce came to see me before I broke up with Buffy." Angel answered shaking his head.

"I'm asking you again, did you know?" Buffy yelled the words at Giles again.

"No, I didn't know, Buffy. Joyce did not really know me that well, she didnt' share things like that with me." He then turned his glare to Angel, "How could you do this, upset her like this?"

"I didn't mean... " Angels words were cut off by Buffy resuming her verbal attack on Giles.

"Of course - she didn't know you well enough to tell you that she basically asked the man I loved to leave me. But she knew you well enough to have sex with you on the hood of police car. Gee that was my mom - just full of contradictions." Buffy spat the words at him and the glared at him with a satisfied smirk.

The look on Buffy's face almost frightened Angel. She seemed to almost enjoy Giles discomfort. He filed this bit of info about Joyce and the Watcher in the back of his head - he couldn't fathom thinking about that bit of news right now. Buffy was in trouble - if she couldn't get her emotions in check she would become careless, and careless Slayers die.

"Buffy." Giles said sternly, he had snapped out of his shock at her words. "I do not want to ever hear you speak of your mother like that again. Joyce was not perfect. None of us are. Do not blacken your memories of her like this."

"I'll do as I please, I would like to be alone now." Her words had an icy edge to them as she opened the door and gestured for the two men to leave.

Angel looked to Giles who cut his eyes towards the door he followed his lead and the two men left together.

Once outside Giles began to speak, "While I still can't believe that you came here and gave her news like this at this time. I will put aside my anger with you, I think Buffy needs some time alone and when she's ready she will need all of her friends - including you."

Angel nodded "It came out by accident, Giles. I never meant to add to her hurt. Do you think I should leave now for LA?"

"I'll be honest Angel, I'd like nothing better then for you to be in LA. But Buffy may need to talk to you when she is calm. You may stay with me for the next few days." Giles told hm as he opened the door to the small red sports car.

Angel lifted his eyes at Giles, "This is yours?"

"Long story." Giles told him as he started the engine.

After she slammed the door shut behind Giles and Angel, Buffy got as far as the kitchen before she sank to the floor and began crying again. She could not grasp the factthat the mother she loved, the mother she had buried just yesterday, had asked Angel to leave her. And the fact that Angel had felt the need todefend Joyce added insult to injury. She could just see her mother standing in front of Angel explaining why he should remove himself from her daughters life, giving him that "I know what's best for my daughter" look. .Had she? Had Joyce Anne Summers ever known what was best for her daughter?

Buffy sat up and wiped her eyes dry. Her mother had never really known her,had never understood her - the fact that she had gone to Angel proved that more than ever. Her grief was rapidly replaced by intense anger. She pummeled the cabinet door with her small fist, ignoring the blood as she surveyed the ragged hole in the door. She wondered briefly how she would explain the damage to Dawn as she ran cold water over her injured hand.

Dawn was so fragile that Buffy could not risk upsetting her anymore. She had promised to take care of her. Promised Joyce that she would take care of her. The thought of her mother sitting on the hospital bed begging her to take care of Dawn no matter what - made her ill. She ran to the bathroom, throwing the bile up from her long empty stomach. Closing her eyes she could see Joyces face, hear her soft voice and she didn't want to cry, she wanted to scream at Joyce - to demand an answer about her visit to Angel. Why? She would never know now.

` Buffy could not comprehend how the same woman who took Dawn in as a daughter could knowingly cause so much heartache to her own flesh and blood. As her anger and grief mixed, she searched the upper cabinets until she found the bottle she was looking for. She opened the bourbon and poured a glass. She made a face as the bitter amber liquid burned the back of her throat, but she forced herself to take another drink and then another. She started to feel a bit woozy and sat down on the barstool. She closed her eyes remembering a time in this very kitchen that her mother had tried to deny her destiny, tried to talk her out of being the Slayer.

//I told you I'm a vampire slayer.//

//I don't accept that.//

// Have you tried not being the slayer?//

//This is insane. You need help.//

//I'm not crazy, mom.//

She remembered the guilt she had felt about leaving her mother when she ran away. And she remembered how her mother had treated her when she came home. Buffy realized that running away wasn't the answer and her mother had every right to be upset. But had Joyce ever really asked her why she'd run? Did she really care why? Was she more upset that Buffy had run away or that it was an embarrasment that her daughter had run away? It got easier to find reasons to be angry at her mother as she thought about the past and about all of the times they had argued.

"Why?" She screamed out loud as she finished off the last of the bourbon and threw the glass across the room. It shattered as it hit the refrigerator. She stumbled as she got off the barstool and fell into the broken glass, causing her hands and knees to bleed from several small cuts. She stood up and made her way to the living room sinking onto the chair. She slowly pulled the afghan over her legs, trying to block out the pain, and closed her eyes. Dreams of her mother and Angel haunted her fitful sleep. Joyce was smiling at her, wearing the dress she had been buried in she spoke to Buffy. "It was for the best[,] dear, he would have never made you happy. I had to send him away," Joyce whispered.

Angel then appeared. "She's right, Buffy. You need a normal man."

"Yes, dear. A normal man." Joyce was laughing at her now. "You'll never have normal, Buffy. Never, never, never... "

In her dream Buffy stood between the two of them in confusion, tears flowing, looking from the mother she loved to the man she loved. Joyce's voice became bitter, as she snarled, "If you walk out of this house dpn't even think about coming back."

"But mom... " Buffy cried out as Joyce dissappeared and Angel stood next to her, "I'm not going to say goodbye," he added in a cold voice "I'm just going to leave. She wants me to leave." And then Angel dissappeared too.

Tears rolled down Buffy's face as she woke from the dream and pulled the afghan around her, trying to hide behind it like a frightened child.

Dawn unlocked the door and walked into the too quiet house. She waved at her Aunt Sylvia, "Yes, I'll tell her. Thank you for dinner."

"Buffy," she called as she walked into the living room. "Buffy," She shouted again, slightly fearful this time.

Buffy woke groggily to the sound of Dawn's voice. "I'm here," she said with a hoarse voice.

Dawn turned on the light, and her eyes widened at the sight of Buffy. She rushed to her sister's side. Reaching for Buffy's hand she asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," Buffy said softly. The afghan fell and exposed the dried blood on the knees of her pants.

"Buffy, what happened?" Dawn's voice rose slightly as she saw the cuts on her sister's exposed flesh.

"I did something stupid, Dawnie. I'll be okay," she told the younger girl.

"Let me help you," Dawn told her as they walked up the stairs together. She frowned as she smelled the alcohol on Buffy's breath, since she had never known Buffy to drink very much.

Buffy accepted her help as she changed into her nightshirt and Dawn brought in the first aid kit. Buffy smiled at her as she cleaned the cuts on her knees and her hands and put bandaids on the worst of them. When she was finished, Dawn looked at her sister. "What happened, Buffy?"

"Angel came to visit." Buffy kept her eyes downcast, hoping she wouldn't cry.

"Did he upset you this much? I told Riley you always cried when Angel was around." Dawn sat down on the bed beside Buffy and placed her hand on her shoulder.

"He didn't mean to upset me Dawn, he just told me some things that I didn't know. I don't want to talk about it now, okay? Thank you for the first aid, I appreciate it." Buffy patted Dawn's arm and smiled.

"You're welcome. I wish Mom was here - she would make it better." Dawn sighed as she went to change into her pajamas.

Buffy watched as she left the room and mumbled softly under her breath, "Mom's already done enough." She turned out her light and climbed under the covers, thoughts of her mother filling her head.

Giles unlocked the door to his apartment and turned to Angel, "You are still invited."

Angel followed him in and sat on the couch clenching and unclenching his hands nervously. "How is she?"

"Well, she was doing okay, I thought - until you came and dropped your bombshell on her. Whatever made you decide to tell her that Joyce talked to you?" Giles went to the kitchen to put the kettle on the stove.

"It slipped out Giles. I only wanted to give her some comfort over the loss of he mother." The vampire sighed.

"Well you mucked that up royally." Giles sat the tea tray on the coffee table. "Tea?"

"Thank you. Should I try to call her?"

"No, I think it's best we leave her alone tonight. I'll call Willow and have her go over tomorrow. Buffy will listen to her. Angel, I think there is something you should know about Dawn." Giles then told the surprised vampire the story of Buffy's little sister.

Angel took a moment to let the news sink in before he spoke, "l hope she will listen to Willow. She is going to need everyone to help her through this." Angel sipped the hot tea and tried to push the image of a hurt, angry, Buffy from his mind.

"Yes, she is very vulnerable now. I'm not sure how to handle her father." Giles went to find the blankets for the couch and excused himself to call Willow. Angel was left alone to think about the situation. First thing in the morning he would call Cordelia and let her know he would be in Sunnydale for a few more days. Buffy needed him whether she wanted him here or not.

Dawn glanced at the clock on Buffy's bedside table. It read nine am. She climbed from the bed carefully so she wouldn't wake Buffy. She had crawled in the bed with her in the middle of the night and she knew that Buffy had not slept well for most of it.

Dawn made her way downstairs and poured herself a bowl of cereal for breakfast. She looked at the phone more than once, wondering if she should call Giles. Last night Buffy's behaviour had scared her. She reached for the phone one last time and was startled when it rang.

"Hello," she answered cautiously.

"It's Willow, Dawnie. May I speak to Buffy?"

"She's not up yet. But I'm sure she will be soon if you want to call back."

"I think I"ll just come over, is that okay?" Willow asked sweetly.

"Sure."

"See you soon," Willow told her as she hung up the phone.

Dawn finished her breakfast and made another bowl of cereal. Carefully, she it carried on a tray upstairs to Buffy's room.

"Buffy," she called softly setting the tray on the table.

"Hmmm... " Buffy sat up in the bed. She was pale and her eyes a bit puffy. Her head felt like a rock band was holding practice sessions inside. She managed a smile when she saw the cereal beside the bed. "Thanks, this is sweet."

Dawn watched Buffy worriedly as she began to eat her cereal, "Willow is on her way over. She just called."

"Guess, I better get dressed then." Buffy finished off the cereal and got out of the bed.

"Buffy, are you okay? I mean last night... " Dawn's lowered her head and bit her bottom lip, a trait she had inherited from her older sister.

Buffy gathered her sister in a warm hug. "I'm sorry about last night, I never meant to worry you. Okay?" She released Dawn and gathered her things for her shower.

"Okay." Dawn gathered up the bowl and tray to take to the kitchen. She was still bothered by the unBuffy like behaviour of last night.

Buffy stood under the hot water and sighed. She felt a little bit better physically, but mentally she wanted to scream out loud. She had barely slept for more than a twenty minute stretch all night long. The alcohol had made her numb but sleep was still evasive and when she did sleep the nightmares returned in a full force.

Her anger was still very present and she fought with herself to tell Dawn about their less than perfect mother. But Dawn didn't deserve to deal with that right now. She dressed and walked downstairs just in time to get the door.

Willow gave Buffy a long look. Her friend looked pale and tired. She gave her a hug as she entered the house. "How are you?"

"Fine. I'ts nice to see my best friend this early on a Saturday morning." Buffy teased as they went into the living room. Buffy avoided the couch, curling up in the chair instead as Willow sat down on the couch.

Willow smiled and then spoke in a serious tone, "Giles called me last night. He told me everything, Buffy."

"He did?" Buffy began to chew on her bottom lip, "So you know that my mother wasn't quite as wonderful as everyone thought. She helped drive Angel away from me, Willow."

"Buffy, I think there was more to Angel leaving then anything Joyce could have said. Your mother loved you, she wanted what was best for you."

"I keep hearing that - she loved me , she wanted what was best for me? Did she?" Buffy stared hard at the redhead, "Do you think she knew I loved him?"

Willow shook her head yes. "I think she did."

"Then why would she send him away, knowing how much I loved him?" Buffy's voice rose with her frustration.

"I...I don't know why. But I know she never meant to hurt you." Willow rose from the couch and went to stand in front of Buffy.

"She never thought I'd find out, Willow. She didn't care about how much pain I was going through. Let's not talk about this anymore." Buffy closed her eyes and sighed.

"Buffy, you have too. You have to work through this."

"No, I don't, Willow. I said I didn't want to talk about it. I don't." She stood up, "I'll see you later, okay. I promised Dawn we would do something today."

Buffy led a surprised Willow to the front door.

Willow left with the feeling of having been dismissed. She decided to go to Xander. Maybe he could help?

Dawn found Buffy closing the front door. "I washed the dishes. Has Willow already come and gone?"

"Yes, she didn't have a lot of time. Anyway we are going out today. How about a matinee and lunch?"

"Are you sure, Buffy? I mean... well, mom... " Dawn's small voice was full of emotion.

"Dawn, we can't cry everyday for the rest of our lives, we have to move on, " Buffy told her sister gently. "It's what she would have wanted. Now go get ready."

She watched Dawn going up the stairs. She took a look around the house and shivered involuntarily.She had to get out of here for awhile, she had to get away from the memory of her mother before it drove her over the edge.

Giles opened his front door to find Willow standing there looking as if she had lost her last friend. "What's wrong? Did you see her?"

"Yes, I saw her. She doesn't want to talk about it, she more or less threw me out, Giles," Willow's words rushed together as she sat down. She then turned her attention to Angel who sat across from her, "Way to go, Angel." She frowned at him.

"I didn't mean to upset her, Willow. It slipped out." Angel sighed.

"You never mean to hurt her, Angel. But you always do," Willlow's heavy sigh matched his own, "I didn't mean that." She apolgized immediately.

"I know," Angel replied quietly, "I'm going to see her again tonight."

"I called Xander. Maybe he can help."

Giles joined them with more tea. He shook his head wondering when he had become such the perfect host. "I'm sure she just needs a bit of time. Buffy is a strong girl, she'll get through this."

"Did you like the movie?" Buffy looked at Dawn as they left the theater.

"It was okay, it was really nice just to get out though, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was. Are you hungry?" Buffy stopped in front of the deli.

"Kind of.." Dawn admitted.

"Hey. two of my favorite girls."

Buffy and Dawn turned to see Xander walking towards them. He smiled broadly at them. "I didn't expect to find you two out today."

Buffys face darkened, "Why not?"

Xander noticed her defensive look, "No reason, I just... "

He was cut off by Buffy, who handed Dawn some money, and said, "Why don't you go in and get us some sandwiches?"

Dawn grinned at Xander and went into the deli.

"Buffy, I really didn't mean anything. I uh... talked to Willow today. She's a little upset."

"I don't want to talk about it Xander."

"Buffy, your mom loved you."

Buffy's fought the tears forming, "Xander, my mother was not perfect, if she had really cared she would have wanted me happy. Angel made me happy."

"Buffy, I know about parents who don't care. Your mother cared. I gotta say I agree with her about Angel. It was for the best," Xander replied calmly.

"I expected no less from you. You always hated Angel." Buffy walked into the deli, "I"m not going into this with you, Xander. Goodbye."

Xander stood alone outside of the deli *What just happened?*

"So did Xander have to go too?" Dawn asked suspiciously when Buffy entered the deli alone.

Buffy shook her head, "Let's go home."

The two girls ate their sandwiches in front of the tv. Dawn wanted to ask Buffy about her strange behaviour but she was afraid of upsetting her. She didn't want Buffy angry at her too.

Dawn asked if she could go across the street to Melinda's. Buffy grudgingly let her go but she was to be back by seven o'clock. She watched at the door as Dawn crossed the street.

Buffy busied herself with finishing the thank you cards. When she had written the last one she began to pick up the sympathy cards and reread them. The first time she read them they had given her comfort now they only spurred on her anger.

She felt like Joyce was a stranger to her now.

The phone rang and Buffy hesitantly answered it. She was not in the mood to talk to anyone least of all her well meaning friends. She was relieved to hear Melinda's mothers voice on the phone. "Oh, I'm not sure thats a good idea." Buffy answered Melinda's mother, she wanted Dawn to stay the night.

After some discussion Buffy finally gave in, "But please call me if she needs me for anything. Thank you Mrs. Brook." She hung up the phone and went to start some laundry she was tired, yet she didn't want to sleep.

She sat in front of the tv folding her third load of laundry when the doorbell rang. She opened the door to find Angel standing outside. "May I come in? "he asked as he walked through the door.

Buffy shrugged and rolled her eyes, "I guess so."

"Buffy, we have to talk, I made a mistake by letting it slip about Joyce's visit to me. You were never supposed to know, it would have been so much better for you that way." He reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear.

Buffy sighed and for a moment almost gave into his touch but her hurt and anger had the better of her. She pulled back from his touch. "Of course it would have been better - better for you, better for mom. Let's keep Buffy in the dark, we'll make the major decisions in her life for her. Much as she and Giles tried to do when I came back after ... " She didn't finish the sentence.

"Buffy, listen to me. You're alienating everyone who loves you. Please don't do this to yourself over something this minor. Joyce loved you." He lowered his voice, "I love you."

To hear those words after all of this time pushed her over the edge, tears fell as she whispered, "Not enough, you didn't love me enough."

Angel was stricken at the softly spoken words, "Buffy you know I... "

"Go, Angel. Just go." She once again showed him to the door.

Angel didn't argue as he left his heart heavy.

Buffy immediately went back to the kitchen. She dug around in the cabinet finding another bottle of bourbon, two bottles of wine and her mother's schnappes. She opened the wine and poured herself a large glass. * How dare he come back into her life, tell secrets about her dead mother and then have the nerve to tell her he still loved her!" She poured another glass of wine and sat down in the kitchen floor, crying and drinking until she fell asleep.

The dreams came again, even worse this time. Joyce kept showing up and telling her what dissappointment she had been. She kept whispering that Angel had to go. Buffy woke up at four am determined to stay awake, she couldn't face the dreams again.

Dawn came home early in the morning. Buffy was in the kitchen attempting to cook eggs and bacon. She turned to face Dawn, "Hey you want something to eat?"

Dawn shook her head, "No thanks, I ate at Melinda's." She swallowed hard ss she took in Buffy's appearance, she was wearing the clothes she had worn yesterday and she had dark circles under her eyes "Buffy, what's wrong? You have to tell me, please?"

"Just tired, Dawn. Don't worry about me." Buffy told her as she noticed the open wine bottle still on the cabinet, she moved to stand in front of it blocking it from Dawn's view.

"Okay, but I do worry about you. I've decided to go back to school tomorrow, I think it will look better when dad comes next week if I'm in school. Don't you?"

"I don't want you to rush back. But I think it is a good idea if you think you can handle it. I did laundry last night. Why don't you put away yours, I left it on the foot of your bed."

"I'll go do that. Buffy, if you need to talk. I am here." Dawn gave her sister a worried smile.

"I know, Sweetie. I'll be okay." Buffy put her plate in the sink as Dawn left the kitchen. She put the wine bottle in the trash. The food in her stomach threatened to come back up and her head was throbbing. She wouldn't drink again she promised herself.

Sunday morning came and went with Dawn helping Buffy do some minor chores around the house. They finished the laundry and mopped the kitchen floor. Dawn never mentioned the hole in cabinet door. She took the trash out when she noticed the wine bottle she dug a bit deeper into the trash and found the bourbon bottle too. Her heart sank a little, maybe it was time to talk to Buffy about this?

She washed her hands and found Buffy in the living room with a dustcloth, absentmindedly dusting the furniture, "Buffy, can we talk a minute?"

Buffy turned to face her sister, "Sure, Dawn. Are you okay?"

"Well, I've been better. But, I'm...well, I'm worried about you." The younger girl took Buffy's hand in her and led her to the couch. Dawn sat down.

Buffy avoided the couch she couldn't bring herself to sit on it, when she looked at it all she could see was Joyce's empty staring eyes. "Why? I'm okay, just trying to keep up with the house. I want it to look good when dad comes."

"Buffy, there was a bourbon bottle and a wine bottle in the trash. Did you drink them?" Dawn fidgeted with the sofa pillow as she talked.

"Of course I didn't drink them." Buffy looked at the stricken look on Dawn's face, "I did have a glass of bourbon after Angel came, I was upset. The bottle was almost empty when I found it. The wine had been opened too, I was throwing it out." The lied rolled off her lips and she felt immense guilt.

"Oh, well I was just worried." Dawn smiled at her sister, "I was afraid for you, I know you aren't sleeping well."

"I'll be okay when we get this stuff with dad straightened out. You didn't mention the liquor to anyone else did you?"

"No, I didn't," Dawn assured her sister, Buffy's apprehension made her nervous.

"Why don't we pull out some of those board games and play them this afternoon?" Buffy walked to the kitchen and put away the dustcloth.

Dawn followed her into the kitchen. "Okay, can we invite Willow and Xander?"

"I'd rather not, I'd just like to spend the day with my little sister, okay?" Buffy gave Dawn a short hug, "and Dawn if they call for me could you just explain that I don't feel like talking. I'm tired today."

Dawn felt uneasy about the request but agreed to screening the phone calls. She soon found the board games in the closet and she and Buffy were busy playing Sorry when the first call came.

Dawn left Buffy to answer the phone, "Hello. No, she doesn't feel up to talking to anyone Willow... No, she's okay... I'll tell her. Bye."

She rejoined Buffy at the dining table, "Willow would like for you to call her when you feel better."

"Will do." Buffy smiled at Dawn as she rolled the dice.

"Buffy, are you mad at Willow and Xander and Giles?"

"No, sweetie. I really just don't feel like talking to anyone. I guess the past few days have really worn on me." Dawn watched as Buffy as they played the game. Her hair needed to be washed and she wasn't wearing any makeup. Dawn couldn't remember ever seeing Buffy look less then perfect even after an evening of slayinig vampires, it was as if she just didnt' care now.

As the afternoon passed they played, Life and Trouble and even found some batteries for the Operation game. Dawn fielded phone calls from Giles and Xander for Buffy.

As they put up the board games, Dawn offered to cook supper. She pulled the frozen pizza from the freezer and told her sister to go rest. Buffy agreed and went to lay down. Dawn preheated the oven and put the pizza in, she then set the table.

Buffy lay on the bed exhausted trying to fight sleep. With sleep came dreams and with dreams came renewed pain. Eventually she lost the battle and her hazel eyes closed giving over to her exhaustion. The dream started differently this time, Joyce's soothing voice telling her how proud she was of Buffy. "You've saved so many people, Buffy.' Joyce told her as she stroked Buffy's hair. Her tone quickly changed though and when Buffy turned she saw Joyce laying on the couch again, unseeing eyes stared into the ceiling. Joyce's voice now was bitter as she whispered, "But you couldn't save me."

Buffy woke up in a cold sweat, fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. She went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. She barely recognized herself in mirror as she dried her face, she was pale and if she had chosen to wear makeup it probably would not have gone far in hiding the dark circles under her eyes. She returned to her room and changed clothes and ran a brush through her messy hair.

Dawn was happy to see Buffy in fresh clothes and her hair neatly brushed. *Maybe a bit of rest was all she needed.*

"I was just coming up to get you. The pizza is ready." Dawn removed the pizza from the oven carefully. Buffy followed her to the dining room as she sat the hot pizza on a hotpad.

"Thank you, Dawn. You've been so good to me all day." Buffy sat down across from Dawn.

"No, problem. You always take care of me, it was my turn."

The girls finished their supper and washed the dishes together. They watched a little bit of tv and Buffy sent Dawn upstair to shower and get ready for bed. "You have school tomorrow, young lady." She grinned as she watched her walk upstairs.

Buffy sat alone in the living room * I'm going to make this work mom. I'm going to take care of Dawn, I'm going to be there for her in ways you were never there for me.*

Buffy sat her alarm in time to get Dawn up even though she knew she wouldn't need it. She had a feeling she wasn't going to sleep tonight. She did allow Dawn into her room again and even feigned sleep so Dawn wouldn't worry. When she was sure her little sister was asleep she went downstairs, she wandered through the house not sure of what she was looking for. She needed rest, but she just couldn't bring herself to lay down, she couldnt' stand the thought of seeing her mother in those dreams, hearing her voice. She shuddered as she went to the kitchen cabinet. One little drink couldn't hurt, it made her numb, it made her not feel, it made her forget. One glass of wine turned to three and then it was three am. Buffy sat glassy eyed in the chair in the hallway.

Dawn woke to find herself alone upstairs. She walked downstairs to find Buffy wineglass in hand slumped in the chair. She called to her, "Buffy!"

"What?"

"You're drinking again. Why?" Dawn's voice rose with confusion and anger.

"I'm sorry, Dawn. I can't sleep."

"Come to bed." Dawn sighed as she helped Buffy to bed. She then made the excuse of wanting a drink of water before she went to use the downstairs phone. She dialed Gile's number determined to get some help for Buffy.

"Hello," the voice on the on the other end of the phone was not Gile's but it was familiar.

"Angel?"

"Yes, Dawn is that you? Is everything okay?" Worry creased Angel's forehead.

"Um..yeah. Is Giles there?"

"No, the alarm went off at the Magic Shop he had to go meet the police there. What's wrong?" Angel gently asked.

Dawn was unsure if she should tell Angel or not, afterall he had upset Buffy. But her worry overrode her fear, "Angel, Buffy has been drinking and she's not sleeping and she looks bad. I mean she just finally brushed her hair this afternoon."

"I'll be right there." He hung up before Dawn could argue. He hastily left a note for Giles with no details just that Dawn had called and he was at the Summer's house.

Dawn peeked out the window nervously as Angel arrived. She opened the door and let him in.

"Where is she?"

"Upstairs." Dawn motioned for him to follow her.

Buffy was lying on the bed in a tank top and shorts, her eyes were closed in rapid rem sleep. He watched her for a moment as she slept, he could smell the wine on her soft breath. "Buffy, what are you doing to yourself?" He whispered as he placed a gentle hand on her cheek.

"NO!" Buffy suddenly screamed out in her sleep.

"Buffy, wake up. Come on, wake up." Angel gently shook her arm.

Her eyes widened when she realized he was there. "What are you doing here?"

"Dawn called, she was scared for you."

Dawn stood in the doorway of the bedroom chewing on her bottom lip, "I'm sorry, Buffy. But I didn't know what to do?"

Dawn walked into the room tears running down her face, "Please don't be mad, Buffy. I was scared I called Giles, and Angel was there and I was just so scared. Please, please don't be mad at me." Dawn sobbed as she knelt beside Buffy on the bed.

Tears filled Buffy's eyes as she pulled Dawn into a tight hug rubbing her back in comforting circles, "Shh... it's okay. I'm not mad at you."

Dawn looked up at her, "You're not?"

Buffy shook her head, "No, I'm not. I am sorry I upset you though. I promise I'll be okay from now on. You do need to get back in the bed if you're going to make it to school in the morning though."

Dawn looked from Buffy to Angel. Angel nodded his head at her, "She'll be okay, Dawn."

Buffy glared at him then turned back to Dawn. "Get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight." Dawn walked towards her room when she heard the door again, "I'll get it." She called as she walked downstairs.

She peeked out the window and saw a frantic Giles. She opened the door quickly. "Is everything alright?" He asked urgently.

"I got scared because Buffy was drinking and I called your house and got hold of Angel." Dawn spoke before she thought about how it would sound to Giles.

"Drinking? Where is she?" He demanded.

"Upstairs." Dawn led the way.

"Buffy, what are you doing? Drinking? Do you really think that's the way to handle this? What about Dawn?" Giles spoke harshly.

"Dawn go on to bed. Giles, Angel lets go downstairs." Buffy stood up and reached for her robe

"Are you sure?" Dawn asked as Buffy led them from her bedroom. She had never heard Giles speak so harshly.

Buffy found a smile for Dawn. "Yes, I'm sure. Goodnight."

Giles and Angel followed Buffy into the living room they sat on the couch while Buffy took the chair. Buffy shook her head at Giles, "What right do you have to come into my house and judge me?"

"Drinking is not the answer, Buffy. I should have thought you would have learned your lesson with the beer. You are being totally irresponsible. I realize you are still grieving and that you are trying to deal with some of your mother's actions but this is totally unacceptable behavior."

Angel looked at Buffy curled up in the chair, she looked as if she would breakdown if Giles said one more word to her. "Giles, Buffy isn't drinking. She did have a drink, but it's under control. She's okay and she didn't mean to scare Dawn."

Giles looked from Buffy to Angel. His Slayer looked tired and very vulnerable, it worried him to no end. "Are you sure she's alright?" He asked Angel with a sigh.

"Still in the room, Giles. Why don't you ask me?" Buffy spit the words out at her watcher, "Thank you for your concern, I'm fine. You can go."

"Buffy, I'm sorry if I jumped to the wrong conclusion. Please forgive me. I amvery worried about you." Giles stood, "Perhaps I should go.Angel?"

"I think I'll stay. I'll see you later." Angel saw Giles to the door.

"You will make sure she gets some rest?" Giles asked before he left.

Angel nodded yes as he closed the door and walked towards the kitchen. Buffy followed with what Spike had termed her 'If looks could stake' look. "You don't have to babysit me, Angel. I'm fine now. What are you doing?"

Angel was opening and shutting cabinet doors until he found what he was looking for. "I'm looking for this," he told her as he began to pull out the remaining liqour bottles from the cabinet.

"I can get more if I want it, Angel." She grumbled, "By the way, why didn't you tell Giles about the drinking? I thought you would jump at the chance to tattle on me."

"I didn't tell him because as of this minute - you don't drink anymore." His patience was running thin with her.

"That's really not your decision to make is it? Oh wait, I forgot - that's what you do best - you make my decisions for me." Buffy gave him a sweet smile.

"Somebody needs to make them for you because apparently you've forgotten what's important lately." He slammed the last bottle into the sink the glass loudly shattering.

Buffy jumped at the sound she turned to face Angel. He wore a look of disgust as he cleaned the broken glass from the sink. "You need to grow up. Dawn needs you, she is counting on you. If you want to drink yourself into oblivion every night, I can't stop you, but I thought you cared more for Dawn than that." He turned and walked out the back door without giving her a second look.

She yelled at the door behind him, "Go ahead and leave that's also something you are really good at."

Angel's felt like he had been punched in the gut as he ignored her words and walked away.

Buffy went upstairs to check on Dawn. She slid into the bed beside her sleeping sister she had a couple of hours before the alarm would go off. She closed her eyes praying for dreamless sleep.

Buffy slept for almost an hour before the alarm began to ring shrilly. She hit the snooze button and covered her head with the pillow. Dawn stirred and got out of the bed. Buffy removed the pillow and smiled at her. "You sure you're up to this?"

"Yeah, I think I need to do this." Dawn began to get ready for school, "We want dad to think it's okay for me to live her, right?"

Buffy stood, "Yes, we want you to stay right here. I"ll go fix you something to eat."

Dawn finished her breakfast as a horn honked outside, "That's Melinda, her mom is giving me a ride to and from school today, is that okay?"

"It's fine, here is some lunch money. Have a good day." Buffy hugged Dawn, "It's going to be okay, Dawnie."

Dawn waved as she walked to the waiting car.

Buffy decided it would be a good idea to try to make it to at least some of her classes today. She showered and put makeup on, she still looked tired but at least she looked presentable.

Classes seemed longer then usual, some of her classmates and instructors had heard about her mother's death and offered their sympathy. She smiled as she listened to the offered condolences. She was so tired by the end of her last class that she almost fell asleep.

She gathered her books together and was surprised by Willow in the hallway. "Hey." The redhead said cautiously.

Buffy sighed, "Hey yourself." "I'm sorry... " Willow started.

"It's okay, Will. I'm just on edge. I'll be okay. In fact, I think I'll patrol some tonight. Would you keep an eye on Dawn for me?"

"Are you sure you're ready to patrol, Buffy?," Willow asked worriedly.

"Yes, I need to get back to normalcy."

"Okay, I can come over about eight will that be okay?"

"That would be great. I'll get Dawn's dinner before I leave. And then all you have to do is make sure she brushes her teeth and gets to bed at a decent hour." Buffy smiled a genuine smile at her friend, "I really appreciate this, Willow."

"See you tonight, go home and take a nap. You look tired." Willow waved at Buffy as she went to join Tara across the campus.

Buffy tried to lay down for few minutes before Dawn got home. She knew she needed to rest. The fear of nightmares kept her from falling asleep once again as she stared at her bedroom ceiling.

"Buffy," Dawn called as she came through the front door, "Are you here?"

"I'm coming," Buffy called to her as she climbed out of her bed.

"Were you sleeping?"

"Yes. I went to class today and came home and took a nap."

Dawn smiled, "Good, cause I know you must be tired. You haven't slept much lately."

"I'm fixing your supper and then Willow is coming over later to stay with you. I'm going to patrol tonight." Buffy walked towards the kitchen, Dawn followed.

"You're gonna patrol?" Dawn asked worry shown in her eyes as she spoke.

"Yes. I think I need too."

"I'm scared Buffy. I don't want to lose you too." The younger girl swallowed back her tears.

"You aren't going to lose me, Dawn. I patrol all the time, remember. Tonight is no different." Buffy ran her hand through Dawns hair and grinned at her.

Willow arrived precisely at eight pm. She and Dawn started working on some of Dawn's makeup work as Buffy readied herself for patrol.

"I'm going now, I"ll be back in a few hours. Dawn bed by ten o'clock. Don't take advantage of Willow." Buffy pulled on her jacket and left the house.

"I'm worried about her," Dawn confided to Willow, "Do you think she's okay?"

Willow put on a smile that belied her own worry, "Of course she's okay."

Buffy walked through the first two cemetaries without incidence. Her exhaustion was so intense that she never even noticed that she was being followed.

Angel watched worriedly as she aimlessly patrolled. He could tell her heart wasn't into the patrol. She was being careless and taking chances by patrolling in her worn down physical and mental state.

Suddenly a vampire lunged at Buffy from behind a small crypt. She kicked him to the ground and raised her stake, but he head butted her and righted himself as she lost her stake. The vampire landed a kick in her abdomen causing her to fall against a tombstone. Angel intervened and staked the vampire before it could do anymore damage.

Buffy sat on the ground holding her knee, she had slammed it into the stone hard and could already feel it swelling. She glared at Angel through the haze of dust. "Were you following me?"

"Yes, I was. It's a good thing too. By the way you're welcome." He knelt beside her and placed is hand on her knee, "How bad is it?"

"Not that bad," she told him as she tried to stand up.

"Uh huh." He scooped her up in his arms and began walking.

"Put me down. I can walk."

He ignored her protests as she finally settled against him pouting. He lightly knocked on her front door. "What happened?" Willow gasped.

"She fell and hurt her knee. I'll take care of it." Angel went to lay Buffy on the couch.

"No, not here. Put me in the chair." Buffy told him her voice frantic.

"Buffy, we need to put that knee up." Angel frowned at her.

"Then put me in my bed."

"Okay." He shrugged at Willow as she took her upstairs.

Angel's sighed as he entered the familiar room. He lie Buffy down on the bed. Then went to look for a compress.

"Buffy do you want me to stay?" Willow placed a pillow under her friend's wounded knee.

"No, I'm okay. I heal quick. Go call Tara and have her pick you up okay?" Buffy winced as she tried to sit up better.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow," Willow told her as she went downstairs.

Angel returned with an icepack "What were you doing out patrolling? You can barely hold your eyes open?"

"I need to get back to normal, Angel. I patrol, it's what I do."

"You are nowhere near ready for patrolling. We've got to get these pants off you."

She gave him a surprised look. He didn't meet her eyes, "I mean I need to look at this knee. Umm... the pants are torn, do you mind if I just rip them and take a look," He looked at her lying on the bed so ulnerable and gulped unneeded air, "look at the knee."

Buffy shook her head and made a face when the material ripped in his hands, soon her knee was exposed and Angel probed it with gentle fingers. She closed her eyes and let him finish his examination. Part of her wanted him to just hold her and never let her go and another part of her wanted to scream at him for being there - why now? Did someone close to her have to die for him to care?

"Keep that knee propped and try to get some rest." Angel placed the ice bag on her knee.

"Yes sir." Sarcasm dripped from the words.

"Please," he asked gently.

Buffy was shocked by the sudden tenderness in his voice, "Okay," she replied softly as she watched him walk towards the bedroom door and then in an even softer voice she added, "Thank you."

"Your welcome." He replied softly as he turned out her light.

The hours ticked by slowly on the clock as Buffy watched the glowing numerals change over and over again. Her knee hurt and she needed to get some sleep. She got out of the bed carefully, trying to put as little weight as possible on the hurt leg. She managed to change into a night shirt, tossing the torn jeans in the corner of her room. She walked into her mothers bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet there she found a bottle of sleeping pills. Maybe that would work? She carried the small bottle back to her room and sat it on the bedside table. She absoulutely had to get some sleep. The pills scared her slightly, the alcohol had been easy enough to find and take refuge in, but these pills seemed dangerous.

Buffy stared at the small bottle a moment before she picked it up and opened it. The prescription read Joyce Summers. She looked at the small pills and sat the bottle back down. She remembered her mother telling her when she was younger "Never take someone else's medicine." She shook her mother's voice out of her head. She could do this, if she could get through one night it would get easier. She lay down and willed herself to sleep.

The dreams came again and she woke up shivering, her knee throbbing as she looked once again at the open pill bottle. NO! She could do this - she closed her eyes and fell into the deep sleep of the totally exhausted.

Dawn woke up and began to call Buffy's name as she walked towards her sister's room. There was no answer and she was beginning to get worried. Her worry turned into full fledged panic when she found the open pill bottle on Buffy's table. "Buffy, Bufffy."

Buffy looked at her through sleepy eyes, "What?" She mumbled tiredly as she watched Dawn pick up the phone. She couldn't hear most of the conversation because Dawn was keeping her voice very low.

"Who did you call?" She finally asked as she began to fully wake up.

"Pills? You took pills?" Dawn shouted at her as she paced around the room, "You scared me! I thought you might be... I thought you were dead!"

"Dawn, calm down. I didn't take the pills. I found them but I didn't take any." Buffy tried to reaassure her sister as she sat up.

"Just like you didn't drink either?" Dawn yelled as the doorbell rang. She flew downstairs to answer it.

Buffy sat on the side of the bed in shock. Dawn really thought she had taken pills. Her little sister didn't think she could be trusted, the thought cut her like a knife.

"Buffy." She heard boots coming up the steps and heard the familiar voice calling her name.

Angel stepped into the room with Dawn following him. Buffy looked from Dawn back to Angel, "You called him again?"

"Giles was at the Magic shop already. Would you rather me call him?"

Buffy glared at the younger girl.

"Dawn, go on and get ready for school. I need to talk to Buffy. Please." Angel sat down on the bed beside Buffy.

Dawn didn't argue as she left them alone. She wanted her sister back and if Angel could help with that - more power to him.

Angel looked into Buffy's eyes and saw immense sadness in them. He fought the urge to pull her to him and hold her there until everything made sense to her again. Instead he picked up the bottle from the bedside table and walked out of the room. Buffy heard the toilet flushing and shook her head angrily. He thought she had taken the pills too. Hot tears stung her eyelids.

He came back into the room and sat down beside her again. "Buffy, Dawn is scared to death. She loves you and right now she feels like you are all she has left in the world. You've got to get yourself together. You take a couple pills to help you sleep and soon you need them every night. I won't stand by and let you do this to yourself."

"Angel, I didn't take any of the pills." She pulled the blankets up around her making her appear like a small child in her parents bed.

"Buffy, it's okay. I'm not holding it against you. But I will not let this happen again. No more drinking, no more pills."

His voice was calm which only served to infuriate Buffy even more. She raised her voice, "I said I didn't take any of the damn pills! Why doesn't anyone believe me?"

"Let me think! Maybe we don't believe you because the last few day you haven't given us a reason to believe you. You've pushed everyone away and you did lie about the liquor. I'm sorry but I believe you took some of those pills."

"Okay! I lied about the drinking. But I'm not lying now! I was just so tired last night and my knee hurt. I found the pills in mom's room. But I didnt' take any of them, I thought about it. But I didn't." She pleaded with him to believe her. The fact that Angel thought she was lying hurt almost as much as learning about her mother's visit to him. He couldn't think that little of her,could he?

"Why were they open?"

"I opened the bottle and looked at them, but I left the pills in the bottle."

Her explanation fell on deaf ears. "Buffy, lets just drop it. I feel like this is my fault, so I plan on sticking around here until I'm sure you are okay. I'm going to get you some breakfast. When I get back I'll look at your knee, walking on it last night probably didn't help it."

He left her sitting on the bed unshed tears in her eyes, he had dismissed her denial as if it was nothing. How could he not believe her?

Angel walked downstairs in time to see Dawn answering the door and letting a man he didn't recognize into the house. The man gave Dawn a hug and asked "Where is your sister?" Dawn looked around nervously as Angel stood on the bottom step.

"Dawn?"

"Angel, this is my dad. Hank Summers."

Hank looked at Angel then up the stairs. "Angel, who are you and why are you here so early in the morning in the house with my daughters?"

Angel looked at Dawn and shrugged his shoulders slightly, turning to Hank he said, "Buffy's going to kill me for telling without her here."

Dawn looked slightly confused but played along, "Yeah she probably will."

Hank stared at both of them not even a hint of a smile on his face. "Tell me anyway."

"I'm Angel, Buffy's fiancee'. Buffy hurt her knee last night and I came over to get Dawn to school this morning." Angel had to grin when he saw how wide Dawn's eye's had become.

"Fiancee"? Why didn't I know about this?" Hank looked dissaprovingly at the young man in front of him.

"Well, sir, we just got engaged and then the tragedy with Buffy's mom. We felt it best to keep it quiet for awhile."

"I guess that's understandable. Where is Buffy?"

Angel led him upstairs to Buffy's room. "Honey, look who's here?"

Buffy turned to see her father standing in her doorway. "Dad, I thought you said you would call first." She looked at Angel, his eyes begged her to go along with whatever he said.

"I decided to surprise you. But I ended up surprised, Angel here told me the news." Hank smiled at his daughter.

"News?" Buffy said weakly.

"Yes, he told me about the two of you - your engagement." Hank pulled Buffy to him in a hug. She peered over his shoulder at Angel and mouthed the word, "Engagement?"

Angel shook his head and grinned at her. She glared at him and rolled her eyes. What new torture had Angel devised for her?

Hank pulled away from his oldest daughter and took a good look at her. "You look tired. I know this has been hard on you. I'm going to take Dawn to school then I'm going to find a good hotel and I've got some calls to make. We do need to talk tonight though. Do you feel up to going out to eat?"

"Umm... I'm not sure. Why don't you just come back here and I'll cook something." Buffy smiled at her father nervously.

"That's a great idea, honey. I'll be back about six. Congratulations on your engagement." Hank stood up and turned to Angel, "I expect to see you tonight too." With that said he called for Dawn.

Buffy shook her head when he left the room and got out of the bed.

"He seems nice enough." Angel said hesitantly.

"Yeah. Did you notice that he didn't even ask how I hurt my leg?" She placed more weight on knee and smiled. "That's much better. Now, what can I cook for dinner?"

Angel smiled at her as she began to gather her things for a shower. He was just happy that she wasn't screaming at him about the engagement. "I guess, I'll go downstairs and make you that breakfast while you shower."

"Thank you," she smiled sweetly at him, "And Angel."

"Yeah?"

"I haven't forgotten that you just told my dad we were engaged. We'll discuss that after I shower." She raised her eyebrows at him.

Angel sighed and walked downstairs to the kitchen. He began to pull his omelet ingredients from the refrigerator and began looking for a skillet. Hopefully Buffy was going to take a long shower because he did not look forward to talking to her now.

The omelet was placed on a plate and a glass of orange juice sat beside it. Angel looked like a man waiting on death row when Buffy appeared freshfaced and damp haired in the kitchen.

"This is for you." He smiled as he pushed the plate towards her.

"Thank you. Now why did you tell my dad we were engaged?" She picked up the fork from the counter.

"It just came out, he demanded to know who I was and why I was here? It was the first thing I could think of."

"Great. Now he wants you here for dinnner tonight too. Goody."

"Well, that shouldn't be a problem. Because I plan on staying here the next few days." He said soflty as he waited for her to throw the plate at him.

"What? Why the hell do you want to stay here?" She pushed the half eaten omelet away.

"Well, Buffy. I want to help you, I want to make sure you are sleeping without any chemicals."

"I told you I didn't take any of those pills. You used to trust me." She looked hard into his eyes.

"You used to be trustworthy." He snapped back quickly regretting his words.

Tears welled in Buffy's eyes. "I"m going to class. If you insist on playing out this charade with my dad. Then you can figure out what to cook for dinner. And tonight if he asks about wedding plans, an outside wedding - somewhere very sunny is my choice." She stomped out of the kitchen.

Angel began to clean up the breakfast dishes. When did it become so hard to talk to her?

Buffy had every intention of going to class, but halfway there she stopped to get a mocha. And then she found herself in the cemetary where she had buried her mother. The fresh grave was covered in mounds of flowers. She sat at the foot of the grave and began to speak. "How could you have done this to me? Why did you push Angel away? You knew how much I loved him, you saw how much his leaving hurt me. Didn't you care? I'm doomed to live a short life and all I wanted was a little bit of happiness. You took my chance for that away, mom. I'm angry, I want you here, so I can yell at you!"

She stood up and straightened up some of the flowers that had fallen over. "Angel's here now, mom. But I"ve made a mess of things and I need to talk to my mom about it." Tears rolled down her cheeks, "I need you here so I can tell you how much having Angel here throws me, I want you to tell me it will get better, but you can't and it doesn't help to know that you were part of the reason he left!"

The caretaker nodded sympathetically as he watched the pretty blond girl wipe her tears and leave the cemetary.

Angel busied himself with searching the cupboards for something to cook for dinner. He found pasta and the makings for sauce. Maybe Buffy could go get bread and stuff fro a salad. Her dad might like a bottle of wine. On second thought he decided against the wine.

He picked up the phone book and called a hardware store that would deliver and set to work on the cabinet door that Buffy had attacked. It wouldn't do for Hank to start asking questions.

Buffy walked into the kitchen and had to smile in spite of herself. Angel was trying out the new cabinet door and he had pasta, tomato sauce and a variety of spices set out. He was so intent on the door that he didn't hear her come in.

"Door looks good." She said behind him and he jumped a little bit.

He smiled at her, "Thanks. I'm not much of a carpenter, but it should work. I also found something to cook for dinner. But you might want to go get salad stuff and maybe some bread."

"I can do that. We need to talk about tonight though. I mean how far can we carry this charade? Even if he lets Dawn stay, he'll most likely come to check and he will probably want to see my "fiancee" while he is here. With you in LA that may be difficult." She focused on the sink not looking at Angel, thinking about pretending to be engaged to him gave her very large butterflies.

"I can be here. Just give me a call. We'll do whatever we have to do to protect Dawn." He stood up and gathered the tools.

"But Angel, he's going to catch on sooner or later that we aren't ...um..you know really engaged."

"We'll have to play our parts well. You should probably fill everyone else in on this too. I called Cordelia and told her I was staying a few days." He put the tools in the box under the sink and began to wash his hands. "You better go get those groceries if we are going to get dinner cooked. Do you need money? Or my car?" He asked as he began to open the tomato sauce, "Wait a minute, can you drive?"

"Yes, I can drive. Riley taught me." She said indignantly.

The mention of the absent soldier boys name irritated Angel more then he cared to admit. He wondered what else Riley had taught her?

Buffy pushed the grocery cart down the produce aisle and began to pick out the makings of her salad. She thought about how sweet it was of Angel to have fixed the cabinet door and to have started dinner. As she found the garlic bread she began to think about his words to her, "Do you need money? Do you need my car?" They seemed helpful enough and she wished she could just accept them as such, but when she thought back it just angered her that Angel had come back and just took over cleaning up the messes in her life. What right did he have to do that, she wanted to scream out loud - No , I don't need your money, or your car. I just need you and you left!

She loaded her groceries into the car and drove home. She carried the groceries into the front door and heard laughter, Dawn was laughing? It was a welcome sound and she rushed to find her sister in the kitchen with Angel. Angel who looked quite domestic as he chopped onion on the cutting board.

She sat the bag on the counter, "Whats so funny, Dawn?"

"Uhh, I'm not sure I should tell you." Dawn began to giggle again.

"She was telling me about your driving lessons with Riley. Seems you made him a bit nervous." Angel continued to chop the onions.

Buffy rolled her eyes at Dawn, "I wasn't that bad."

"Then why did he say he would rather face a dozen demons then give you another driving lesson?" Dawn broke into giggles yet again at the memory.

"He was just teasing.", Buffy said petulantly, "You notice he did finish the lessons."

"Yeah, cause I heard him tell Xander you were going to owe him big for them, and he was looking forward to collecting. What did he mean, Buffy?" Dawn asked with a wide grin.

"Dawn!" Buffy's eye's grew wide, "Don't you have homework to do?"

The younger girl grabbed her things and went to her room. "Yeah, I better get that done before dad gets here."

Angel began to saute the onions and he turned the water on to boil under the pasta. "So, I guess your driving lessons weren't free. huh?" He had meant for the words to come out lightly but they came out with a edge to them.

"He was my boyfriend, Angel. The one you left me to find."

"Uh... well. Do you want to get started on the salad?" He went back to the stove and stirred his onions.

Wordlessly she began to wash the lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers. He glanced at her every so often as she tore the lettuce and chopped the salad ingredients. The door bell rang and Angel was grateful for the noise.

"I'll get it," Dawn yelled from upstairs.

Angel finished draining the pasta and serving up the sauce. Buffy began to put dinner on the table just as Dawn and Hank entered the dining room. "Buffy, this looks wonderful." Hank kissed his eldest on her cheek and handed her a bottle of wine, "I thought Angel might enjoy this and you are close enough to 21 for a glass of wine."

"Thanks, dad." Buffy took the wine bottle into the kitchen and reached for the wine glasses.

Angel frowned at her, "It's from my dad, Angel."

"Still, Buffy."

She silenced further admonition with a glare as Angel followed her to the dining room with the hot bread. Hank offered his hand to Angel, "Nice to see you again. This looks great. You are a lucky guy."

Angel plastered a smile on his face, "Yes, I really am." Despite Buffy's bad attitude he did realize how lucky any man would be to have Buffy in his life.

Hank opened the wine and poured three glasses. Angel grimaced as Buffy took a sip, but smiled when she sat the glass down and pushed it away from her opting for her iced tea instead.

"You don't like the wine, Buffy?" Hank asked when he noticed she had pushed it away.

"I'm not used to alcohol."

Midway through dinner, Hank brought up Dawn's moving to LA. "I talked to my boss about it and he said to take all the time I needed to get Dawn set up in LA with me."

"Dad, I want to stay here." Dawn said her voice highpitched and desperate.

"I don't mind dad, I'll be happy to take care of her."

"Buffy, you are so young and you have school and you still want to have a good time, not be tied down to parenthood." Hank smiled at her.

*Tied down to parenthood?" What kind of jerk is this guy?* Angel seethed as he watched the pain on Buffy's face.

"I don't think of it as being tied down, dad. I love Dawn and she is happy here."

Dawn chimed in, "All my friends are here! I don't want to change schools again. I want to stay here with Buffy."

Angels calm voice began, "Mr. Summer's."

"Call me Hank. We are going to be related."

"Hank, I think that you are missing an important fact here, Buffy isn't just an average college student out to party. She is an engaged woman and she is very responsible and I'll be here to help some with Dawn too. Would you at least consider a trial run with Dawn staying here?"

*Angel to the rescue again!* Buffy gave him Angel a sincere look of gratitude.

Hank lay his napkin down and clasped his hands, "I think that maybe a trial could be arranged. My boss would probably let me off every other Friday or so and I could to Sunnydale and check on you girls. We could try it until school lets out this summer."

Dawn's face lit up, "Thank you, daddy!"

Hank returned her smile, "Your welcome. Dinner was excellent, Buffy."

"Thank you. Now, Dawn why don't you help me clear the table." Buffy stood and began to gather dishes.

"Sure, I'll help." Dawn followed Buffy to the kitchen with more dirty dishes.

"Angel, more wine?" Hank asked as he poured himself another glass.

"No thank you. I would like to thank you for allowing Dawn to stay here for the time being. It means a lot to Buffy. She's been through so much with Joyce's illness."

"Well, I have to admit I'm not sure I'm looking forward to having kids in the house again. But it's what's expected of me, my boss at work called me into his office when he found out, the sympathy thing is a great way to get some time off." Hank took a sip of his wine and quickly added somberly, "Not that I would ever take advantage of this sad situation."

"Of course not." Angel remained completely calm on the outside as he mentally devised ways to torture Hank Summers. *Poor Joyce, no wonder she left this guy.*

"It's been hard on everyone, I guess."

"Yeah, I think the girls are holding up remarkably well, don't you? I don't think I could have done it. It's selfish but I'm kind of glad I was divorced from Joyce before all of this happened. I don't think I would be any good at dealing with it. Please don't say anything about this to the girls."

"I won't." Angel stood up from the table, "I'll go help Buffy finish up and you can visit with Dawn." He could not stand to be in the room with this man for one second more. Hank Summers was the lowest form of human. Now that Angel had met him, he knew he would do whatever it took to keep Dawn away from the man she called "Daddy".

"Dawn, I'll help Buffy with these why don't you go talk to your dad?"

Dawn grinned as she threw the dish towel at him, "You can take over drying."

Angel had to grin at the image of domestic bliss that he and Buffy portrayed as she washed and he dried. "Angel, thank you." She said softly without looking up from the sudsy water.

"Your welcome. I talked to your dad, and I really think it is best for Dawn to stay here with you. I think it would be best even if there were not extenuating circumstances." He took the plate she was rinsing out of her hand to dry it.

"What did he say? Obviously you aren't thinking he's an okay guy anymore." Buffy looked into Angels dark eyes.

There was no way Angel would ever divulge the careless way Hank had brushed off Joyces illness. "I just think he isn't ready to be an active dad again. I guess he's been on his own too long."

"Yeah. He hasn't been an active dad for a long time now." Buffy sighed as she let out the dishwater and dried her hands. "I guess we better join them in the living room."

"Yes, dear." Angel said sweetly taking her hand in his.

She stared at his large had engulfing her smaller one and looked up at him questioningly.

"We want to make this look good, don't we?"

*He's making it very hard to stay angry at him.* Buffy followed him into the living room.

"Dawn was filling me in on school." Dawn and Hank sat on the couch together.

Angel took the chair and Buffy sat on the floor in front of him. Angel leaned forward and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"I would like to know some more about my future son-in-law. What do you do for a living?"

Buffys eyes widened slightly until felt Angel gently squeeze her shoulder and then calmly begin to speak."Well sir, I run a detective agency out of LA, but I spend a lot of time right here in Sunnydale."

Hank seemed impressed as he asked various questions about the business and Angel filled him in on some of his more normal cases. He then asked how long they had known each other. "We met while I was still in high school." Buffy supplied the answer,"Angel moved to LA after I graduated though and we didn't get reaquainted until recently when he came back to Sunnydale."

"So, you love my little girl and you are going to take care of her, right?" Hank smiled at Angel.

"Yes sir. I love her and I do intend on taking care of her whether she likes it or not." Angel chuckled slightly.

Buffy turned to Angel with mock sweetness, "That's so sweet, honey," one hand ran down to his ankle and she gave it a hard pinch.

Angel flinched from the sharp pain but never missed a beat, "Its nothing snuggle bunny."

Buffy rolled her eyes at him and then turned to face Hank again. Dawn was biting her tongue trying to contain her laughter. Hank seemed oblivious as he made his excuses to leave.

"I'll be back next weekend. I expect to see you all then." He waved as walked to his car.

"That wasn't too bad... snugglebunny." Dawn ran up the stairs before Buffy could catch her, "Got to get ready for bed, school in the morning."

Buffy grinned at her sister as she went to join Angel in the living room, he had the tv on and was watching the news. He actually looked like he belonged there and for a moment she had to remember to breathe.

"Do you think he believed us?" Angel started flipping the channels.

"I think so. It's getting late though and it's been a long day. I think I'll go change into something comfy. Thank you for coming, for everything. But you can go back to Giles now."

"I told you, Buffy. I'm staying right here. I'm going to make sure you get a good nights sleep." He turned the tv off and stood up, "If you'll show me where the blankets are, I'll sleep on the couch."

Buffy stared at the couch, then she stared at Angel. There was no way she could watch him lie on the couch sleeping. No way. "Angel this is silly, you don't need to stay here. I'm fine."

"I'm staying, Buffy. Blanket?"

She could tell by the look on his face that it would be useless to argue with him. "If you insist on staying, take mom's bed."

Buffy turned out the lights and walked up the stairs, Angel close behind her. "Are you sure, Buffy?"

"Yes, I'm sure." She told him as showed him the room and said goodnight.

Angel looked around the room and decided this mght be better, Joyces room was across from Buffy's and he could keep an eye on her better this way.

Dawn came into Buffy's room and hugged her. "I'm so glad I get to stay!"

"Me too." Her sister returned the hug, "Now go get some sleep. Goodnight."

"Night." Dawn said as she left the room, "Night,Angel," she poked her head into her mother's room.

"Goodnight, Dawn." Buffy heard Angel's voice across the hall.

She turned out her light and climbed in between the cool sheets. She closed her eye. *I will go to sleep, I will go to sleep." She tossed and turned for a half an hour before she got up and paced around her room.

His voice startled her, "You okay?"

She turned to see Angel standing in the hallway wearing a pair of black silk boxers. "Uh...yeah. I'm okay."

"Can't sleep?" He asked as he cautiously entered the room.

She didn't deny it as she shook her head and sat down back on the bed.

Angel turned to leave, 'I'll be right back."

He returned shortly with a book, "Lay down. I'll read to you from this poetry book. That should make you sleep." He smiled as she lie back against the pillow.

"This one is a good one, but it's sad." Angel looked over the index page.

"That's okay, read it anyway." Buffy looked at him through tired eyes.

"It's called The Stone," He settled himself on the edge of her bed and began to read.

And will you cut a stone for him,
To set above his head?
And will you cut a stone for him--
A stone for him? she said.

Three days before, a splintered rock
Had struck her lover dead--
Had struck him in the quarry dead...

Buffy listened to Angel's calming voice as her read the tragic poem, it was as beautiful as it was tragic. She watched as Angel as he concentrated on reading each word with just the right inflection.

Because her heart was dead.
She did not sigh nor moan,
His mother wept:
She could not weep.
Her lover slept:
She could not sleep.

Angel looked at Buffy and gave her a soft smile at the last line he read. He ran his hand down her cheek, "You okay?" He asked softly.

She nodded, "Please finish." She felt more peaceful then she had in days, the words that Angel read were so very sad, her heart went out the girl in the poem. But his voice was so soothing, she felt very vulnerable yet very protected as he sat on the bed.

He read several more stanzas of the poem, Buffy's eyes were closing he kept reading.

With still eyes ever on my hands,
With eyes that seemed to burn my hands,
She watched, with bloodless lips apart,
and silent indrawn breath:

He read the next stanza and noticed her eyes completely closed and he stopped reading and pulled the covers up around her. Never opening her eyes, she murmured, "I want you to finish it, please?" A soft smile ccompanied the soft words.

And when at length the job was done,
And I had laid the mallet by,
As if, at last, her peace were won,
She breathed his name; and, with a sigh,
Passed slowly through the open door.
And never crossed my threshold more.

Next night I laboured late, alone,
To cut her name upon the stone.

Angel sighed as he finished the poem. Buffy's breathing was even now and she was making small breathy noises as she slept. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. Pulling the chair from the corner over he sat down next to her bed, he would stay here for a little while, just to make sure she was okay.

Buffy slept for several hours before the dream appeared, Joyce sat beside her on a hospital bed, "I don't know why you are angry with me. He would have left you anyway, your Dad left, Angel left even Riley left."

"She's right, Buffy. You are just too high maintenance to stick around for" She turned to see Riley standing in the doorframe.

She called his name and he dissappeared.

Angel noticed Buffy stirring, she said one word "Riley." She seemed to settle back to sleep so he didn't wake her. He did wonder what her dream was about, he had held his tongue and not asked where Riley was. But maybe he needed to know, if he was going to help Buffy he needed to know everything.

Angel woke to the sound of Dawn's alarm. Buffy slept through it, he tucked the covers back around her and went downstairs. Dawn was already fixing a bowl of cereal. "Hi." He told her as he entered the kitchen.

"Hey, how's Buffy?"

"She's good I think, still sleeping. I thought we should let her sleep as long as she could." Angel leaned against the counter, "Dawn, where is Riley? I keep thinking he should be here."

Dawn looked up from he cereal, "Angel, I'm not sure exactly what happened with Buffy and Riley. You will have to ask her. All I know is that it ended badly."

"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that." He said absentmindedly as he tried to process what could have happened.

"I've got to finish getting dressed for school. Melinda's mom is taking me. Will you be here tonight?"

"Yeah, I'll be here. Have a good day at school." He rinshed out her cereal bowl and dried it.

Dawn grinned at him, "Do you do windows too?"

He smiled at her, "Only at night."

Dawn left for school and Angel heard the shower running upstairs. He went to Joyce's room and made the bed. He heard Buffy blowing her hair dry and getting dressed. He bumped into her in the hallway.

"Good morning." He smiled at her.

"Morning. I think I should try the school thing again." She returned his smile, "Will you be okay here all day?"

"I'll be fine. Did you sleep okay all night?"

"I slept fine. Thanks for staying with me. I think I'll be okay tonight."

"We'll see." Angel took her place in the bathroom and started his shower.

She frowned slightly,"Yes, we *will* see. I mean its nice that you came and helped me but I make my decisions for myself."

Angel listened to her mumbling throught the bathroom door, he shook his head, *And look where those decisions got you.*

Buffy actually enjoyed class today. It was nice to have something to think about other then the sadness at home and class was so much better when you had slept the night before.

She stopped by Gile's and checked on him, she filled him in on the whole dinner with Daddy scene. He raised his eyebrow at the fake engagement but understood the need for it. She also told him she planned on doing serious patrolling tonight.

As she left the Magic Box, Giles picked up the phone and dialed her number, Angel answered, "Summers Residence."

"Angel, Buffy's been by she plans on patrolling tonight, please don't let her go alone. I'll even stay with Dawn if you'll follow her."

"I'll offer to go first if she refuses I'll call you and then I'll follow her anyway." Angel sighed.

"She'll be angry." Giles warned him.

"I'm getting used to that." Angel chuckled.

"Honey, I'm home!" Buffy called as she walked through the front door.

"Gotta go." Angel hung the phone up quickly.

"In here. What do you want for supper?" He called from the kitchen.

"Pizza delivery!" She smiled at him, "Would you mind staying with Dawn tonight, I really need to patrol."

"Why don't you let me go with you?"

"Becasue it's easier for you to stay here with Dawn. I'm fine Angel remember I slept like a baby last night."

"Still, I would feel better."

"No worries. Okay. Don't you need to get back to LA soon?"

"Actually the guys there have it under control. And I have to be here this weekend for your Dad's visit. I might just stay." He looked at the pizza delivery number on the fridge. "What do you want on your pizza?"

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to stay. I appreciate what you are doing, but really it's for the best if you get back to your life and I get back to mine." Buffy studied her fingernail polish instead of looking at Angel.

"I'm staying at least tonight. Is pepperoni okay?" he dialed the number and placed the order.

"Okay, tonight, cause you have to watch Dawn. But then I've got to get back to my normal routine and you aren't part of it." She heard Dawn come in and went to greet her.

Angel closed his eyes, he was actually getting a headache. Why did he even try? You know why you try, idiot, you love her and you always will.

After dinner, Buffy started to get ready for patrol as Angel helped Dawn with her histroy homework. As soon as she left he called Giles and a little while later he left Dawn in his care as he went to track Buffy. He found her quickly as he tried to stay a safe distance behind her. She was in better form tonight and he watched as she quickly disperesed of two fledglings spouting her famous quips as they turned to dust.

He sensed another vampire and quickly scanned the area. He saw Spike approaching Buffy and watched from the shadows. Spike and Buffy had come to a tentative friendship. Spike would have preferred more but Buffy had made it clear she needed his friendship and nothing more and he was willing to accept that, for now.

"Buffy. How are you feeling?" Spike asked her as he lit a cigarette.

"I'm okay. Thought it was time to start patroling again." She leaned against the crypt.

"How is the niblet? Is she doing better now?"

"I think she's going to be okay. My dad is trying to raise some trouble." Buffy explained the whole situation to Spike.

"So Angel is in town? Geez, Buffy I stayed away cause I thought you needed some time. But I could have posed as your fiancee' as easy as Angel." Spike complained.

"Hopefully it won't be for very long."

"I hope not, in my opinion this is just one big storm a brewing."

"It'll be okay. Stop by and say hi to Dawn sometime, okay?" Buffy told him as she made her way through the stones.

"Yeah, I will." He told her as he watched her walk away, "You can come out now, Peaches. I know you're there."

Angel emerged from the shadows, "Spike, I don't know when you and Buffy became buddies. But you better watch your step."

Spike finished his smoke and took a step closer to Angel, "Let me get something straight for you, you better watch your step. You hurt her again and you'll answer to me." With that said Spike dissppeared into the crypt.

Angel shook his head as he took up following Buffy again. He stepped on a stick startling her, she jerked around quickly stake on the ready.

"It's me." He said quickly.

"What are you doing here?"

"Giles is with Dawn. I wanted to make sure you were okay. Do you really think it's wise to associate with Spike. And since when does he care if I hurt you or not? He actually threatened me." Angel said the last part with disbelief.

"Spike has decided he likes, me. REALLY likes me." Buffy explained with a grin.

"But you explained that there could never be anything between you two, right?" Angel asked cautiously.

"Don't act jealous Angel, afterall you're the vampire I'm engaged too." Buffy said sweetly as she began to walk away from him.

"Buffy, it's just that I don't want to see you hurt again either. And I've noticed Riley is nowhere around. What happened?"

"Angel, I believe that when you left for LA you gave up the right to interfere in my personal life." Buffy crossed her arms and stared hard at him.

"That's true, but I still want to know why the guy is nowhere around at a time like this."

Buffy hopped up on the small stone wall that edged the cemetary, "If you must know, he left me."

"He left you?" Angel asked making sure he had heard her correctly, "The guy who wasn't gone move one muscle in your dorm room, left you?"

"I was so busy worrying about mom and finding out the truth about Dawn that I was ignoring him. He couldn't handle it, he got offered a mission in Belize and he took it." Buffy stated matter of factly. There was no reason to tell Angel the whole sick story.

"He should have been more understanding, Buffy. Your mom was sick he should have been there for you, not the other way around." Angel countered.

"It doesn't matter how it ended, Angel. I know that Riley was a good man.He was there for me a lot during mom's illness. More then you were Angel,she had to die for you to come." She spit the words out at him.

"That's not fair, no one even told she was sick until it was too late. And I'm here now, Buffy."

She rubbed her eyes and ran a hand through her hair, in a voice barely above a whisper, "I know you are. And I'm glad but I can't hear you talk bad about Riley, okay?"

"Sure, I'm sorry." Angel apologized with a heavy heart, she had cared more for Riley than he had thought.

They walked home in silence.

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