She woke slowly, awareness coming in layers; taking in first the sleeping vampire she was cuddled against and then memory of what had transpired, then lastly the huge brass bed and soft silk sheets in which they were lying. They were in the lower level of Spikes crypt and looking around she took in the details for the first time. It was nice—comfortable; Spike had transformed it with soft rugs, a sumptuous bed and clothes chests, but no mirror she noted to herself. Candles covered most available surfaces down here just as they did above. The rough texture of the walls was softened as the gentle light from the candles flickered against them. Spike may be a creature of the night but he liked his light, just as he liked other human comforts. A leather bound book lay on the bedside table, the bookmark visible as it poked out between the pages. He really was so unlike other vampires she thought to herself, not that she made a habit out of being in vampires' bedrooms, but she didn’t need to to know that Spike was pretty unique.
 
This brought other vampire related matters to mind and she turned them over in her head for the next couple of hours, to the gently lulling sound of her lover’s light breathing. Even in sleep he drew breath his body didn’t require for survival.

*****
 
“Spike?” Buffy ventured softly.
 
“Mmmm, love?” the sleepy vampire replied, wrapping his arm around her and snuggling her closer to his side. Nuzzling gently at her neck and purring softly he closed his eyes ready to let sleep claim him once again.
 
“You know I can’t let you keep feeding on people don’t you?” Buffy’s voice was gentle, but determined.
 
This had his attention and succeeded in waking him fully, “Have to feed love, unless you fancy me a walking mummy?”

“I know you do. But can’t you...I don’t know… could you drink blood from the butchers?”

“Like Angel, you mean!?” Spike’s voice took on a hard edge, despite his best intentions. Wary of not hurting the girl in his arms he forcibly softened his tone, “You don’t know what its like, love. Vampires are meant to drink live blood, preferably human. Dead blood can keep you going, but only just and it's disgusting. Dead animal blood is even worse.” Wanting her to understand, to know that he wasn’t just being objectionable for the sake of it, he tried to explain, “What’s the worst thing you have ever had to eat, something that really makes your stomach churn?”
 
Without hesitation Buffy answered with a shudder, “Brussel sprouts.”
 
“Ok, so imagine really old, rotting Brussel sprout soup and that’s what dead animal blood is to me.” He sighed and continued on with what he hoped was a credible argument. “Look love, I’m not killin’ anyone, I haven’t done for months 'cause I knew you wouldn’t like it. I just take a bit and leave em. No harm done, no one the worse for it, an' maybe a lesson learned by them as to why not to walk the streets at night. When you think about it I’m doin’ a public service!”
 
“I know you haven’t been killing, Spike, did you think I hadn’t noticed that! But the point is you are still attacking people and most likely scaring them half to death. It’s just... well, you just can’t keep doing it. Don’t you understand, it is my job, my calling to protect people, how can I live with myself if I turn a blind eye just because it's my boyfriend doing the attacking?”
 
“I’ve thought about this, pet, and I just don’t know any other way. I HAVE to feed, it's not a matter of choice here, Buffy, 's just the way it is!” He spoke quietly, all the while hoping that he could make her understand and terrified that he was going to lose her over something that he had no choice in.
 
She had contemplated this for hours while he slept and knew what she needed to say now, although knowing it didn’t make it any easier. She drew a shaky breath, lowered her lashes and chewed worriedly on her lower lip, terrified of what she was about to suggest. The words when they came were little more than a whisper, “What if… what if you fed on me?”
 
“NO!!!” He jerked away from her as if she had just burnt him, his eyes flashing rapidly from blue to gold and back again.
 
Hunger, excitement, glee, even just plain old enthusiasm where the reactions she'd expected; nothing prepared her for the violent denial or the horror on his face at her suggestion. She reached for him, her fingers brushing his face, stroking it softly; calming him with the love in her touch and her eyes. She spoke softly, “Why not? It makes sense. I mean my blood, it’s strong isn’t it? You wouldn’t need much. And besides, you know, Slayer healing, so whatever you took I would make back in no time flat. So no big, right?”
 
“No, Buffy. I can’t. Yes, your blood is strong. There's nothing finer in all this world than Slayer blood, the power, the taste… it's ambrosia. But I can’t. I might not be able to stop… don't you see it’s not just Slayer blood love, it’s your blood! I just can’t, I might hurt you, kill you even. Couldn’t live with that. Never want anything to happen to you and I won’t bloody let it, let alone be the cause of it.”
 
“You won’t Spike, it’s ok, I know you wouldn’t hurt me…not ever, I know that, I trust you and I love you. You just have to trust me the same way!”
 
“'s not a matter of trust, love. The bloodlust, it's so strong ‘specially for Slayer blood, for your blood. It's not me in control, pet, it’s the demon and only thing it wants is to drink you up, drain you and revel in the power and the taste of your unbelievably wonderful blood.”
 
“That’s not true, Spike, I know it isn’t. I know you are in control, not the demon, or I wouldn’t be alive now! D' you think I’m stupid Spike, think I don’t know the difference between a Master vampire in control of his demon and a stupid fledgling who's totally controlled by his demon?” Buffy bristled, and then at the look of fear and concern on his face her tone gentled, “You’re scared, Spike, I understand that… you think I’m not? When the Master bit me it was terrifying, I couldn’t move couldn’t think, I was totally petrified,” her lip trembled and her eyes shone bright with unshed tears, “but I love you and the thought of having to stake you because you are killing people or of you living on something disgusting that you have to force down just because you love me, well that terrifies me more. I’m scared, but I do trust you and I do know you won’t hurt me, a little blood, well that’s an awfully small price to pay to have your love. I’m yours Spike, and you are mine, we belong to each other, ok, we are a part of each other. So stop being a stupid vampire, don’t you know arguing with the Slayer is REALLY bad for your health!!” She glared at him but the effect was lost somewhat as one of the unshed tears picked that moment to slowly trickle down her face.
 
“Buffy,” the one whispered word encompassed all of his love and devotion as he gathered her into his arms holding her close to his long unbeating heart. He tried to muster the strength, the words to argue with her, to explain to her why the thought of drinking from her scared him so much, the only problem was that he couldn’t even explain it to himself. She was right HE was in control and had been for a very long time. It was long, long years since his fledgling days. Days that he preferred not to dwell on; consisting of pain, humiliation, beatings, and torment and million other reasons why he hated his bleedin’ Grandsire with a passion. All he could do was nuzzle into her hair and kiss the top of her head gently, breathing in the warm, beautiful scent of his slayer. He sighed against her, “alright love, but there’s a condition.”
 
“What condition?” She eyed him warily, was he trying to back out… to find something he knew she wouldn’t agree to, to use as an excuse not to do this?
 
“Wrist,” he stated, “I’ll feed from your wrist, that way if I get carried away or somethin’ you can just sock me one, ok? Only way it’s gonna happen, pet.”
 
She nodded her agreement. What he'd said actually made sense so she was more than happy to agree with him. She wasn’t so happy a few moments later when he reached over the side of the bed, picked up a stake and handed to her.
 
“Just to be on the safe side, love.”
 
Buffy took the offered stake in her right hand, sitting up and facing him she lent forward and kissed him gently, the kiss deepening until eventually, reluctantly, they drew apart. Blue eyes fastened on hers as he reached for her left wrist, turning it towards him. Blue was replaced with gold as fangs appeared in his still-beautiful face. His eyes remaining firmly locked to hers he gently bit down on her wrist and his mouth flooded with the sweet taste of his slayer’s blood. He moaned softly as he drank, slowly allowing Buffy’s own racing pulse to pump the warm intoxicating nectar into his mouth. His chest tightened with an overpowering surge of love for his girl and he watched as her eyes closed, her face filled with wonder and love. Clamping down on the struggling demon inside him that was urging him to drink, drain, kill, he pulled his mouth away and licked gently at the wound until it closed. He could feel her powerful blood coursing through him.
 
Drawing a ragged breath, Buffy’s eyes opened again to stare once more into the amazingly blue eyes of her vampire lover. “Wow,” she declared, her face lighting into a dazzling smile.

From the moment he had stared into her eyes she was lost in him, the bite was little more than a pinprick, no real pain, especially not for the slayer. Then the gentle touch of his mouth on her wrist, sensual as a kiss, his soft moan as he began to feed sending warmth flooding through her body, after a few moments--or was it a lifetime… she couldn’t tell--locked still in the depths of those now-gold eyes, a wave of love deeper than anything she had ever known flowed over and through her, so beautiful. Her eyes had drifted closed and then, too soon it was gone, his tongue lapping gently at her wrist leaving behind no evidence that only seconds before his bite had been there.
 
He lent forward gathering her into his arms, tucking her head under his chin as she planted soft loving kisses on his neck. “Mmmm,” he purred, “wow, what love?”
 
Buffy described the feeling that had run through her, how she had felt and known with absolute certainty how much he loved her.
 
“Makes sense I guess” he mused. “Normally when a vampire bites it is hunting, feeding, you know, nothin’ sweetens the blood more than fear. Hunger and bloodlust are what a vamp is feeling when it hunts and I guess the prey, feeling that, would experience absolute terror. While I was feeding on you all I knew was how much I loved you…guess you got to feel that too…..mmmm….nice little side effect that. What I’d call a bonus!”
 
“So”, she murmured against his neck, “you all over that being worried you are gonna hurt me bullshit? Cause you know you aren’t and I know you aren’t so enough already!”
 
He laughed a beautiful deep throaty laugh, “yes, Ma’am!” His face turned serious, “still doesn’t hurt to be a little cautious for a while though does it love, just till we are absolutely certain I have this whole, feeding on the wonder that is slayer’s blood, down pat?” A hint of concern played across his face, begging her to agree.
 
“Ok baby, if you really are that worried we can take it carefully till you feel safe. But oh, god I want to feel you feeding on my neck!”
 
A hungry growl escaped him at her words and his mouth plunged towards her neck fastening on the pulse point just above her shoulder, not with fangs as his demon would have liked, but lips and tongue and then gently with blunt human teeth. “Love you, Buffy. Love you,” He breathed against her neck over and over as they proceeded to lose themselves in each other.