Later that night Buffy made her way across the cemetery
towards her home. Spike had wanted to accompany her, to be by her side
as she faced the wrath that was certain to descend upon her for her
absence the last 24 hours, however she had managed to eventually convince
him that she needed to do this alone. He had then insisted he at least
walk her home, again they had disagreed, with Spike finally giving in
when Buffy told him that it was hard enough having to say goodbye to
him here, but outside her door, with her Mother most certainly looking
on would be unbearable. Eventually they agreed that she would go home
and face her Mother and Spike insisted that he patrol for her that night
so at least she did not have to concern herself with that or worry that
she was neglecting her sacred duty. After a lengthy and reluctant parting
they had each headed off in different directions through the graveyard.
The closer to her destination, the slower her feet dragged, every step taking her nearer to a confrontation she was dreading and farther from the arms of her love. As she turned onto the path through her yard the front door flew open. “Buffy, where have you been? I have been worried about you, everyone has been worried about you. Mr Giles didn’t know where you were, Xander and Willow hadn’t seen you. Are you ok? Angel didn’t do anything to you did he? Are you inj……” “Mom! I’m fine” Buffy exclaimed. “Please, breathe, let me answer you! Can…can we go inside first though?” “Of course. You’re certain you are ok?” Joyce turned back towards the house, ushering her errant daughter inside. Once inside Buffy walked into the lounge room and sat down in the chair, trying to calm her nerves and control the shaking in her limbs. Joyce sat on the lounge her apprehension clearly painted on her face. “Buffy?” “Ok Mom, what I have to tell you, you really aren’t going to like!” Buffy’s voice was small, her eyes fixed on a point on the floor in front of her. She tried again to order her thoughts, to try to come up with a way to explain the events of the last 24 hours to her mother in a way that sounded reasonable. Reasonable! Telling her mother that her 17 year old daughter had spent the last 24 hours having sex - mindblowingly beautiful, loving, wonderful sex – with a hundred and fifty year old vampire…yeah there had to be a way to make THAT sound reasonable. “I believe I had actually worked that out for myself, I can’t imagine anything you can tell me that I am going to like about the fact that I have spent the last 24 hours wondering if you were dead somewhere, or injured and in need of help. If your crazy vampire ex-boyfriend who refuses to accept that you have broken up with him had kidnapped you. You have no idea the scenarios that have been running through my mind Buffy, but I can assure you not one of them does anything close to making me happy!” Joyce’s voice was shrill with emotion and she made a visible effort to calm herself. “Please Buffy just tell me where you have been, I believe I am owed an explanation!” “Right, well …. um. The problem is what I need to tell you kinda goes back a bit before last night. You remember parent teacher night?” At her mother’s nod of confirmation she continued. “Well the blonde vampire, the one you hit with the axe, his name is Spike. About six months ago Spike saved my life, since then we have been kinda becoming friends, really good friends. I trust him with my life, he has never let me down, always been there when I needed him. Well last night when we were patrolling I got injured and Spike took me back to his crypt and fixed me up. I’m not sure what happened, somehow we were just kissing and, well, it was just right! I realised that I loved him, that I had loved him for a long time and he loved me too. Mom, I never knew you could love someone and be loved so much. When he holds me I feel like I’m home, I…” Tears poured down her face as she tried to find the words to explain to her mother something she did not even know how to explain to herself. How she just knew that Spike and her were meant to be together, that they belonged to each other in a way they could never belong to anyone else. Joyce watched as her daughter broke into tears, trying to choke back the sobs which threatened to consume her. Moving on instinct she knelt on the floor in front of the chair and gathered her distraught daughter into her arms. Rhythmically stroking her hair and making soft soothing noises she calmed her troubled offspring. Eventually Buffy’s sobs subsided, hiccuping she looked up through her tears at her mother’s concerned face. “I’m sorry Mom, I didn’t mean to go all blubber baby on you.” Buffy gave her mom a watery smile as she wiped the tears from her face. “Oh god I must be a wreck!” “Well It’s not one of your better looks that’s for sure!” Joyce quipped, earning a short bark of laughter from her daughter. “Why don’t you go upstairs and wash your face, I’ll make some tea and we can continue our talk ok.” “Ok Mom.” Buffy rose and headed upstairs, the urge to flee to the sanctuary of her bedroom and curl up in a ball on her bed was overwhelming, instead she made her way to the bathroom and liberally splashed her face with water, cooling her painfully inflamed eyes and cheeks. Drawing a hand through her hair she looked in the mirror starting at the sight before her, “Ughh, thank god Spike can’t see me now!” Tidying her hair the best she could and fanning her face to attempt to cool more of the angry heat from her cheeks she took a deep breath and headed back downstairs to continue the talk her hysteria had interrupted. On her return to the lounge room her mother handed her a cup of tea and urged her to again take her seat. “So what you are trying to tell me I assume is that you slept with this vampire. Would I be correct?” Joyce’s tone was matter of fact even though inside she was shrieking with denial. Buffy again lowered her face and stared at the floor, nodding slowly. “We love each other Mom.” Unable to meet her mothers eye she waited, for what she didn’t know. An explosion of parental riotousness? Rejection? Horror? Anger? Joyce forced herself to remain calm, “I see.” She began. “ Buffy, that you love each other, well, that is a good thing, however I really cannot condone your actions, or more to the point HIS actions, you are only 17 I am assuming Spike is rather older than this?” “He …. he’s about a hundred and fifty if you include the years he was human.” Buffy mumbled. “ A hundr …… Oh, oh my!” Joyce’s eyes widened as she attempted to absorb this latest information. “Well in that case he definitely should know better than to enter into an adult relationship with a girl of your age!” Joyce stated. “It’s not his fault Mom, he said we should wait, he wanted to but, I …. Mom, don’t blame him, please, be angry at me, yell at me, tell me I am a slut or or I don’t know, but please, don’t blame him!” The tears which had so recently ceased began to flow again. “He is beautiful Mom, inside and out …. he is amazing, you have no idea! Mom, vampires, they don’t have a soul, they shouldn’t do the things Spike has done, shouldn’t be able to love, shouldn’t care…. but he does, he loves me so much, there is nothing he wouldn’t do for me ….” “He doesn’t have a soul? Doesn’t that make him dangerous? Buffy I’m not sure you should have anything to do with him, I really…” “Mom, Spike would never hurt me, he loves me! If he wanted to hurt me he has had more than enough opportunities over the last six months, he carried me unconscious and bleeding to his crypt last night, if he wanted me dead I would be dead, if he had wanted to turn me he could easily have done so last night!” All consideration for herself had flown out the window at the thought of her lover being held solely accountable for their actions or deemed to be a dangerous creature who must be dealt with. Buffy was not kidding herself, she knew from firsthand experience just how dangerous Spike could be, she also knew something of his past and was in no doubt whatsoever that he had happily murdered thousands, that was in the past though and was NOT who he was now. “Be that as it may Buffy, I don’t think I want you having anything further to do with this man, you are so young and….” “I am young Mom, I know and Spike told me he was willing to wait for as long as I needed. But Mom, don’t you understand, I am the slayer,” her voice caught in another quaking sob, “it’s not a job, Mom, it’s a life calling, most slayers don’t live to see their 18th birthday, so yeah I’m young, but I probably won’t live to be anything but young! And … and I love him so much, I can’t imagine not being able to see him, not being able to hold him, Mom I….” Buffy’s ever rising hysteria broke again in an enormous wave of tears and sobs. A grief stricken Joyce attempted to process not only her sobbing daughter in front of her, the actuality of a hundred and fifty year old VAMPIRE boyfriend as well as the reality of her only child’s haunting words in regard to her life expectancy. For the first time since Buffy’s birthday admission of exactly who and what she was, the exactness of that disclosure hit home; her baby was not going to have what other girls had, would most likely never have the college graduation or the fairytale wedding, would not live to have children of her own and watch them grow, her baby was going to be lucky to see adulthood. Gathering her daughter to her she soothed and shushed, at the same time clinging fiercely to her child as if by strength of will alone she could hold at bay the reality of a life of violence and danger and protect her offspring from pain and the surety of untimely death. A knocking from the door eventually dragged the Summer’s matriarch back from her still sobbing daughter’s grief to the mundaneness of life. Gently untangling her daughters arms from around her neck she quietly assured her she would return in a moment. Drawing a deep breath and wiping her hands across her face in an attempt to both compose herself and hide the evidence of her distress, she opened the door to a highly agitated leather clad blonde pacing back and forth across her front porch. Spike had finished patrolling and had headed to Revello drive, just to check that she was ok, he told himself, just in case she needed him. Which was the truth, what he didn’t admit was HIS need to see her again even if just for a second, to climb up to her window and kiss her goodnight, to assure himself that she still loved him, that the reality of home and family had not brought crashing down upon her the realisation of what she had done. He needed reassurance that she was not regretting their night together! As he approached the house he had heard Buffy’s grief stricken sobs and her mother’s quiet attempts to sooth. All thought, all sense abandoned him at the sound of his love’s sorrow, all he knew was he had to get to her, to hold her and ease the pain which was currently overwhelming her. Before he knew what he was doing he had knocked on the door, waiting the moments it took for the door to open was an eternity, an endless age in which all he could hear was Buffy’s misery. He wanted to reach out and tear the door from its hinges, beat it down and rush to her side. He forced himself to wait, his feet carrying him on a furious march across the confines of the porch and back again in urgent need to expend the swell of anxiety. The door opened to Buffy’s mother, her face damp and red from her own anguish. Recognition dawned across her face, “You must be Spike?” He could hear Buffy’s weeping, smell her tears on the air and the need to hold her, to ease her pain anyway he could, increased. Nodding, whilst looking past Joyce, his mind barely even acknowledging her continued presence, he strained to see his girl, his slayer whose grief was ripping him apart. Stepping forward he encountered the barrier, the hidden force which prevented a vampire from entering uninvited into a human home. “Buffy” an anguished whisper slipped unbidden from his lips, turning grief stricken eyes on the woman before him, “please, invite me in.” Joyce watched as the vampire’s pacing ceased, his every sense appeared to be trained beyond her to the lounge room, even as he acknowledged her question with a nod his focus was clearly on Buffy and not her. She saw him move to enter only to be stopped short by something she could not see, something intangible yet seemingly impassable even for the clearly powerful creature standing before her. Her daughters name spoken in pained reverence before he turned to her and requested an invitation to their house, to their sanctuary; never invite a vampire into the house, this message had been clearly stated by both her daughter and her watcher! Something in his face, in his eyes decided her, “Come in Spike.” His gratitude shone clearly on his face for a brief second before he was gone, past her, dropping to his knees and gathering Buffy into his arms. “Buffy love, I’m here.” She watched in amazement as her daughter’s shuddering lessened as she burrowed her face into the vampire’s shoulder. She saw his hands, gentle and loving as they stroked and soothed, heard soft mumbled words as he nuzzled tenderly at Buffy’s hair. Slowly Buffy calmed, her breathing becoming more regular, the convulsions which had wracked her tiny frame stopped. Raising tear swollen eyes to her lover’s face. “Spike?” She whispered as if only just now consciously realising he was there. Her hand reached to stroke the angular planes of his face, her eyes again filling with tears, this time gentle tears of love and wonder, “you came!” “Course I did pet! Shh, don’t cry love.” His lips gently brushed away her tears. “Hush love, I’m here, I’ll never leave you, long as you need me I’ll always be here!” He rocked her gently, holding her close to his unbeating heart. Buffy sighed into him and allowed herself to be comforted by her lover’s soothing presence. Eventually she calmed enough to draw back, away from him, taking his hand in hers in order to maintain contact. Buffy raised her eyes to her mother’s face. “Mom, this is Spike.” The next hour or so was spent talking, the two lovers clinging to each others hands like a lifeline. By the time Joyce rose to announce that it was late and that it was probably time for Spike to be on his way she was secure in her decision that she would not stand in the way of the clearly devoted couple. Not least in her determination was the fact that Spike’s love for and dedication to her daughter could make a vast difference to the life expectancy of the young girl whose duty placed her in danger on a constant basis. Buffy walked Spike to the door, kissing him lovingly. “Thankyou Spike, thankyou for coming here, for staying and talking to my mom…” “I like your Mum love, hellova lady! Still can’t get over her whackin’ me with that axe that time.” His eyes glinted with respect and some amusement as he remembered the determination on Joyce’s face as she told him to get the hell away from her daughter! He knew not all of Buffy’s incredible fire stemmed from the fact that she was the slayer, Summer’s women were amazing! “Guess I better go pet, I’ll see you again soon?” Buffy was astounded by the vulnerability and doubt in his voice. “I love you Spike! Please don’t ever doubt that, ok! Nothing and no one could ever stop me loving you!” She gently stroked his face and felt a swell of love as he nuzzled his face further into her hand purring softly for a moment. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I better go now, have to phone the search party and let them all know I am safe….ughh THAT is not gonna be fun. I’ll come by around lunch time, give you time to get some sleep. I love you!” With that she kissed him again, long and slow, neither of them wanting to part, both knowing they had to! By the time Buffy re-entered the lounge room her mother had already phoned her watcher informing him that she was safe and at home, no apocalypse had occurred, no she was not injured in any way, her absence in fact had had nothing to do with her job as the slayer and NO he could not come around now to see Buffy, her daughter was tired and was going to bed. He could wait until Monday to see her. That left Buffy with the easier task of phoning Willow and assuring her friend she was perfectly safe but very tired and leaving her with the promise that she would go over in the morning and talk to her. “Mom…” She began. “I like him Buffy, he seems like a lovely….. well I guess I can’t exactly call him a young man can I? Anyway I like him and it is obvious to me that he loves you, this goes against everything I have ever believed in as a parent but I will not do anything to prevent you from seeing him and yes I am aware of the nature of your relationship, the only thing I ask is that you be careful Buffy and I do not want you staying out all night without my knowledge, I do not ever want to spend another night worrying if you are alive or not…do you understand me young lady!” She fixed her daughter with a Mom look. “I understand Mom, I promise. You …. you are alright with me spending nights with Spike?” “Yes Buffy, I am, I don’t quite understand why I am but…” She paused and looked thoughtfully at her daughter. “Not on a school night though, I do not want to see your schooling suffer because of your relationship.” Buffy laughed. “I think my schoolwork couldn’t suffer any more than it already does from my slaying duties, but yeah Mom, not on a school night, promise!” Hugging her mom she tried in vain to fight back a yawn. “I’m beat, mind if I go to bed, or did you want to talk more?” “No honey, I don’t mind at all, I am off to bed too. See you in the morning.” ***** |