"The Deal"

Author: Pamela
Contact:
destructo-girl@cox.net

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Shaking his head at the latest problem they had, courtesy of Forrest's big mouth, Riley walked back in the bedroom. Buffy turned quickly so her back was to him. He could tell it was because she was crying and she didn't want him to see.

"I take it that it didn't go well?"

Buffy shook her head, still not looking at him. "I've been disowned."

Riley felt overcome with guilt. He never should have forced her to call her father, especially so soon after her rejection by her mother. "I'm so sorry, Buffy."

Buffy shook her head. "It's not your fault. At least now I don't have to worry about telling him."

"For what it's worth, he's a fool," Riley replied, moving behind her.

Buffy turned and smiled up at him, but her bloodshot eyes and blotchy face ruined the effect. "I don't think he would agree with you."

"Well it's true. He was blessed with an amazing daughter, and if your child is anything like you, a really great grandchild. And he's just giving that up? Idiot!"

Buffy shook her head and laughed. "Riley, you are undoubtedly the sweetest guy I have ever met."

Riley smiled down at her and gently stroked his hand over the back of her hair, enjoying at its silkiness. "I hate to do this to you now, but I don't see how we can avoid it… Forrest accidentally let it slip to a few of the guys that you're pregnant. It's only a matter of minutes before everyone in this house knows."

Buffy ran her hands over her face and shook her head. "You know what? It's fine with me. I'm pregnant and I am staying this way because I am *not* having an abortion. So they are going to find out anyway."

"Okay, well I wanted to warn you," Riley said, "And… another thing… it's a safe bet that since you are staying with me, they're going to assume I am the father."

"Oh God, Riley… I didn't even think of this! I'm sorry.. I'll tell them you're not."

"No, don't worry about it. In fact, let them believe I am."

Buffy raised an eyebrow in question.

"For the time being… until we figure something else out. We'll have fewer problems about you staying here if they think that's why. We don't have to announce it's my baby, but if they assume it we won't deny it."

"Riley, you have to be the *only* guy in the world willing to allow himself to be called the father of a baby that's *not* his," Buffy remarked.

Riley grinned as he led her towards the bedroom door. "I'm a strange guy."


Buffy took a deep breath as she followed Riley into the kitchen. The rest of the house had been empty, but the voices in this room could be heard from as far away as upstairs. Most of the guys were sure to be there.

Walking in, Buffy immediately felt eyes on her. She stood awkwardly behind Riley as he smiled at everyone and gestured to her. "Guys, this is Buffy. She's going to be staying here for a while. Please try to be nice."

Buffy was relieved when she was greeted with smiles. She noticed Graham sitting at the table, giving her a friendly look as he showed them that he had two empty seats beside him. Buffy sat in the seat next to him as Riley grabbed two bowls and spoons off the counter.

"Did you just want cereal? We've got tons of food. Bagels, english muffins… I could make you eggs," he offered.

Buffy shook her head. "Cereal is great. I don't want anything too heavy."

Riley sat down beside her and selected his favorite cereal from the various boxes on the table. Buffy took the box after him and poured some in her own bowl while Riley looked for the milk.

"Aw, are we out of milk?"

"Mike, you didn't finish the milk, did you?" a blonde guy asked as he punched the arm of another man who had just walked in the kitchen.

Mike gave the first guy a strange look. "Since when do you care so much if Finn doesn't have milk for his Raisin Bran?"

The other guy looked at him like he was a moron. "Buffy needs it! She's eating for two now and she's got to have calcium!"

Buffy flushed as most of the other guys in the room started nodding and shooting dirty looks at poor Mike. Riley just chuckled and shook his head before getting up and checking the refrigerator. Sure enough, there was a full gallon of milk.

"Aren't you loving Forrest right now?" Graham joked quietly to Buffy.

Buffy just smiled.


"So where's your little girlfriend?"

Riley looked up and saw Chris standing in his doorway. He was still amused by the way Chris has attacked Mike about the milk that morning. The way all the guys had seemed to grow almost protective of Buffy and her baby almost immediately had really surprised him.

"She's running an errand," he answered.

Chris nodded and smiled at him, "You know, I never would have thought that you would get a girl… in this situation. You're such a perfectionist. I guess accidents happen, though, huh?"

Riley nodded his head, making a point to keep quiet. He had a sneaking suspicion that the purpose of Chris' little visit was to fish for information.

"So, what are you going to do about this?"

"We're not sure yet. The news is still… new."

Chris looked surprised at how relaxed Riley was. He would have figured that until everything was taken care of, Riley would be a nervous wreck. He knew if he had knocked a girl up, he would be until she got an abortion or decided to keep the kid. And if they were keeping the kid, he'd probably be in a much worse mood than Finn.

When Chris finally left him alone, Riley found he couldn't get back into the book he'd been reading. Instead, he started thinking about Buffy. She ought to be back soon, since she'd left over two hours before. He wasn't sure how he felt about her going to their local Planned Parenthood. Hopefully everything he had heard about them being good about not pressuring a girl to make a certain decision was true. Riley wasn't sure what decision he didn't want her pressured into making was, he just felt nervous about it.

Sighing, he set the book down on his nightstand and got up off his bed. He might as well go watch football with the guys. The game was starting in twenty minutes, and if that didn't distract him from Buffy, nothing would.


It was two hours into the game before Riley realized that he still hadn't seen Buffy. Plus, it was getting dark out and he really didn't like the idea of her having to fight any HST's in her condition. He slipped from the living room unnoticed by all the other guys, as they were quite engrossed in the game, and started heading towards the stairs.

He entered his dim bedroom, intent on grabbing his coat so he could try to look for Buffy when he saw her noticed her small form on top of his bed. Moving closer, he smiled as he saw she was sleeping on her stomach on top of the bedspread. There were little brochures scattered around her, so it appeared she had fallen asleep reading.

He was about to creep out of the room so she could continue her nap when Buffy moaned and lifted her head, looking a little confused. Once she remembered where she was and why Riley was in the room with her, she smiled up at him. "I guess I fell asleep."

Riley returned the smile, pulling out his desk chair and sitting down. "You must have needed the rest. How long ago did you get back here?"

Buffy looked at the clock and replied, "About an hour and a half ago."

"Did everything go okay?" Riley asked, trying not to be too intrusive.

"Yeah," she replied, sitting up so she was facing him. "They gave me another pregnancy test, which came out positive, so then I had a blood test, also positive."

"So, you're definitely pregnant."

"Yup. They also gave me an AIDS test, but I won't get the results for a while," she added, not really worrying too much. With Parker she had used a condom and Angel hadn't had sex with anyone besides her for so many years that AIDS hadn't even been around.

Riley, however, felt a spark of fear. After all, Parker had really gotten around and if he had gotten Buffy pregnant, he could have given her a disease as well. Poor Buffy; she really didn't deserve any of this.

"I told them that I'm almost positive I don't want an abortion, so we mostly discussed me raising my baby or giving it up for adoption. I took brochures on everything, though. I want to consider every option."

Riley nodded, "That sounds like a good idea."

"We also discussed financials.. Basically I have no financials, but they still referred me to a doctor and they gave me a bunch of sample vitamins," Buffy answered, then sighed. "I've got to get a job!"

"Don't worry about that right now, just focus on your future," Riley said.

"But that's something I *do* have to consider. I mean, if I keep this baby, I have to support it. Am I going to be able to make enough money? Sunnydale's not big with the job opportunities, if you haven't noticed. I have to not only find a job that requires no experience, but one that pays enough to take care of both of us."

Riley nodded in agreement, then gave her an optimistic look. "Hey, I know a lot of people. And as you can see, all the guys here would love to help you out. I'm sure at least one of us has a connection to get you a job."

"Really? That'd be *so* great!"

"Absolutely," Riley responded, then chuckled when he heard her stomach growl. "How about we go grab dinner? We've got a ton of greasy foods that are sure to clog your arteries downstairs."

"Ooh, that's my favorite kind!" Buffy grinned, forgetting momentarily that she had been too depressed to eat much before. Riley had a way of making her feel like everything was okay.


"So Riley, I don't suppose I can assure Nicole that if she brings her cousin, we can hook the two of you up tomorrow night?"

Riley shot a dirty look at Forrest and they patrolled the still-deserted campus. "Not funny, Forrest."

"I wasn't kidding," Forrest replied, then sighed. "See, I knew this was going to happen. You're getting all caught up in this Buffy thing."

"Forrest, how do you know that this has anything to do with Buffy? If you've never noticed, whenever I was stupid enough to let you set me up, I regretted it."

"Whatever," Forrest retorted. "The point is, your little… obsession… with Buffy is getting you into major trouble. Already, you have no desire to see other girls. You'll be content playing Candyland in your bedroom and getting her snacks while everyone else parties."

"Parties aren't everything," Riley replied before marching ahead, hoping Forrest would just drop it. He didn't think his friend was right… but he didn't know he was wrong, either.

Forrest smirked at Graham, who had been characteristically silent throughout their conversation, "You notice he didn't *deny* it."

Graham shrugged, "Riley likes Buffy, and it's not like she's not likeable. I don't see the harm."

"Thank you, Graham," Riley smiled at his friend.

"Yeah, well I *do* see the harm. Riley, you're going to get all caught up in playing house with her. I know she's not one of those girls who use guys to get whatever they want… at least, I don't *think* she is. Anyway, I know how you are and all your good intentions are only going to get you stuck in the same hole she is in."

"Don't worry about me, I'm a big boy," Riley replied defensively. Normally he could brush of Forrest's distrust of women, but tonight he wasn't going to put up with it. There was a girl in his room who was sweet, caring and wonderful. She had been taken advantage of, then tossed aside like trash. And as if she hadn't suffered enough already, now her life was going to be changed forever, and most likely in a negative way. She certainly didn't deserve Forrest's disparaging comments.

Forrest just shook his head, knowing Riley wasn't going to listen to him. He just hoped that even though it seemed highly unlikely, Parker took responsibility for his actions this time. Then Riley wouldn't have to be Buffy's hero.


"So, you moving out?"

Riley looked up at Waylon, one of his fellow officers, in surprise. "Moving out?"

"Yeah," Waylon replied, smiling across the table. "I mean, Buffy seems really great. She doesn't act all high maintenance and all, but this is a frat house- girls and babies don't live here."

Riley looked down, pretending to check out his hand of cards, "This is just temporary, I don't know where Buffy's going to live just yet. She's got… problems… her mom didn't take the news all that well."

Another man at the table, Andy, piped in, "Hey, did any of you guys know John Torrey?"

"Who?" Forrest asked as he took his turn. He hoped Andy was changing the topic because he really loved these poker games, but discussing Buffy was only going to get him thinking about what Riley was getting himself into and he really didn't want to go there.

"He used to live here a while back. I think he left before most of you guys got here. He was transferred to Maryland or something about a year and a half ago. Anyway, I guess it was over two years ago when his girlfriend gets pregnant. John was stuck like you, Riley, because he lived here and you can't have your girl and your kid staying in your room with you. So he went and talked to his C.O. and they set up this whole arrangement. He married the girl and since we're top secret and we don't have regular base housing, they hooked him up with an apartment, rent-free, gave him a big raise to support his wife and kid, they even paid for her to go to a civilian doctor. After all, they really didn't want her going down in the Initiative and checking out all the HST's when she went in for her check-ups. Anyhow, they set him up with a place, funds, and the baby would be taken care of for the rest of it's life."

"All because he married her," Riley said, leaning forward as he thought about it.

Forrest could see the wheels turning in Riley's head and he really didn't like it, "Marriage is a big deal, Riley."

"You aren't kidding," Waylon chuckled, "I'd push for an abortion, myself."

"Riley's not like you, Waylon," Graham commented.

Waylon nodded, knowing the other man was right. "So true, Graham. For instance, I plan on experiencing a lot of life- namely women- before settling down. I figure I should be thorough… so I don't plan on shackling myself to a woman for a good twenty years. Forty-five is a good marrying age."

"Sound about right to me," Andy grinned, with Forrest nodding in agreement.

"I thought so," Waylon smirked, "But Riley… Riley views marriage in a different light. He sees it as… well, not death."

The table erupted in laughter at Waylon's exaggeration. Riley shook his head and said, "You really are extremely over dramatic."

"I'm not," Waylon insisted, "hear me out. When you get married, you are saying goodbye to being a bachelor. It's the same woman every day for… possibly the rest of your life. It is really the death of your life as you know it."

"You are really disturbing," Riley remarked.

Waylon shrugged, "You were raised in a completely different environment than I was. You have that whole 'happy family' thing going. I'm from a broken home- which makes me lack trust in the whole marriage thing."

"What about Buffy?" Andy asked.

"Her parents got divorced a few years ago. She was living with her mom here and her dad lives in LA. Does that mean she's as wary of marriage as you, Waylon?" he asked, truly curious, even though he knew the mere idea of marrying her was preposterous. As much as he *liked* her, he didn't love her and that's what marriage was for. Besides, he was only twenty-two. It would be one thing if he actually was the father of her baby, but he wasn't. Giving her a place to stay and helping her get on her feet would be plenty.

"Nah, probably not. Chicks who lose their dads tend to really crave male attention. She'll either go that way or the other extreme- totally not trust any guys further than she can throw them. And she doesn't seem like that at all."

Riley smiled as he thought about how far Buffy really could throw any guy, "She's not."

"You're the psych major, you should be able to figure this out yourself," Andy said.

"Not Buffy," Riley replied, shaking his head, "She's not like any textbook case. She's different."

Riley received looks of disgust from every person at the table besides Graham, who simply smiled.

"Man, he is a goner," Andy remarked, shaking his head sorrowfully.

"I am not!" Riley argued, ignoring the amused disbelief on Graham's face and the look of disapproval on Forrest's. They were all insane. He just *liked* Buffy! They liked her too- he was just closer to her. So he felt an obligation to take care of her when nobody else in her life would- that didn't make him in love with her.


When Riley awoke the next morning, he found himself alone in the bedroom. He wondered where Buffy had gone without waking him. She didn't seem entirely comfortable in the house and generally didn't go anywhere besides the bathroom without him. Shaking his head, Riley tried to stop himself from worrying that she'd left. Why did the idea scare him so much?

Getting out of his sleeping bag, Riley opened the bedroom door so that he could go find Buffy. His search ended quickly when he found her in the hall, her hand reaching for the doorknob. She jerked in surprise, then gave him a weak smile.

"Did I wake you?"

Riley shook his head. "I don't think so. I just woke up a minute ago and you were gone." Seeing that she was still in the shirt he'd given her for sleeping and obviously hadn't showered or anything, he asked, "Were you getting sick?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "At least this time I didn't scare anyone- the bathroom was deserted."

"Good.. Nathaniel's going to get a complex otherwise," Riley chuckled. "Hey, do you want some saltines or something? I've always heard that helps. My sister had a baby two years ago, and she carried a box with her everywhere."

Buffy shook her head and put her hand over her stomach, "I don't think I could keep a thing down. I'll be okay in a little while. I may feel sick as a dog now, but in half an hour I'll be fine."

"Okay, if you're sure," Riley said, even though he was concerned.

"I am," she replied, then went and picked up the clothes she had been wearing for the past two days. She wrinkled her nose at the thought of wearing them yet again, but what choice did she have? She couldn't go buy new clothes with nothing but her good looks... Which wouldn't help anyway, because she wasn't looking too great currently thanks to stress, depression and pregnancy symptoms. At least Riley had thought of washing them last night. She would hate to stink. But still… she couldn't stay like this much longer. She needed clothing, money, and a home. And she needed it all right away.


"Hello?"

"Riley?"

Riley was shocked to hear Willow Rosenberg on the other end of the phone. She was the last person he would have expected to hear from, but at least it wasn't some ex-girlfriend as he'd feared when Graham had quietly informed him that he received a phone call and it was from a female. He *really* didn't need to deal with that while he was trying to handle the current situation with Buffy. "Yeah, it's me."

"Hi, um, I know it's weird for me to call you, but I was just wondering if perhaps you've heard from Buffy in the past couple days?"

Riley quickly tried to decide what to tell her. He wasn't sure whether or not Buffy wanted Willow knowing where she was. She hadn't seemed really *mad* at her friend, just abandoned. Still, he knew that even though Willow may have let Buffy down, she probably would change her mind and help her out. And wasn't helping Buffy the most important thing? She really needed Willow's support. Sighing, he made his decision and replied, "Yeah, I've seen her. I know about the baby and what happened when she told you guys. I assume you know her mother kicked her out?"

"Yeah, you see, I figured Buffy was mad so even though I wanted to call her for several days I gave her space. I was going to see if she wanted to come over tonight for New Years, and then we could talk and stuff, but when I called her mom's, she told me that Buffy had left… I kind of got the impression her mom told her to leave."

"It went something like that," said Riley.

"So… she's staying with you?"

Riley closed his eyes, not wanting to give away Buffy's secret- if it was indeed a secret, but also not wanting to lie. He was very bad at it. "Yeah, she's here."

"Oh thank God, I was so worried!" Willow exclaimed, "I mean, I know Buffy is strong and resourceful, but how would she get a place to stay and food and everything without any money, you know?"

"Don't worry, I ran into her the night her mom kicked her out and brought her here. She's been staying with me so she can try and figure out what she's going to do."

"Thank you so much, Riley! I can't begin to imagine what would have happened if you hadn't helped her."

"I care about Buffy, Willow, there was no way I would leave her out there."

Willow was silent for a moment. "You're right; what you did was, well, it was something that *I* should have done automatically. I really let her down."

Riley didn't argue, instead remaining quiet on his end of the phone.

Taking a deep breath, Willow asked "Do you think I can come over?"


"I hope you're not mad, I just didn't know what you wanted to do, so I tried to do what I thought would help you. At least this way you'll get some of your stuff," Riley said as he sat down on the edge of the bed and watched Riley as she stood with her arms crossed over her chest in the center of his room. After getting off the phone with Willow, he had come back upstairs to see if Buffy was all done showering and dressing. Seeing that she was, he'd told her that her friend had called and that she was coming over later, hopefully with some of Buffy's clothes if Joyce let Willow do it.

"Yeah, and I'm not at all mad," Buffy replied. "In fact, I'm not sure what I am when it comes to Willow. I mean, it's not like she did anything really horrible to me. She just… she doesn't think that keeping the baby is a good idea. And her reasons for thinking that weren't wrong. I am young and I have no means of supporting the baby. I suppose you could say that it makes her a really great friend for stating her concerns instead of getting all caught up in how cute babies are and all that. It shows that she *does* care about me."

Riley nodded, "Yeah, she does. But on the other hand, I don't think it would be wrong of you to feel a little angry. She didn't support you when you needed it most. She could have set aside her own feelings for a while in order to let you know she was there for you. Even if she had the best of intentions, she screwed up."

"Still, I can't hate her forever."

"Well I *did* say that you could feel a *little* angry," Riley smiled, "Hating her forever was not at all involved."

Buffy chuckled, then sighed sadly and looked away from him, out his bedroom window at nothing in particular. "I'm just scared."

Riley frowned, "Scared of Willow?"

"Yeah, sort of. Sort of scared of myself too," she replied. "I'm just… so unsure of what I want to do. I feel in my heart like I want this baby. I want to give birth to it and raise it… but in my head... They're all right, you know. I'm really not in a position to be a good mom. My head tells me that perhaps I could ignore my heart and have an abortion… or at least give it up for adoption. But I'm not sure I can live with it. My heart may make me feel guilty for killing or giving away my child for the rest of my life. Anyway, I'm just afraid that if *I* don't know what I want and Willow gives me advice… my decision may not be mine. I may do what's 'in my best interest' and regret it forever."

"So… if Willow starts to try and give her opinion about what she thinks you ought to do, tell her that you need some time to think about it on your own. You still haven't had a chance to really catch up. Given some time, I think things will become clearer for you. You'll make some decisions and feel more confident sticking by those decisions."

Buffy turned her head towards him and smiled. "You're a very wise man, Riley."

"I've always thought so," he said, watching her turn her head back towards the window as she became lost in thought. Riley realized he almost felt guilty. Before he had just felt unable to do anything… but now he knew there was another answer. An answer that meant Buffy's life could be a lot easier than she thought. She could keep the baby and not have to worry about housing or food or anything. But she wasn't going to get to have that because he was too selfish. No, that wasn't fair. He was only twenty-two. He had his whole life ahead of him, and besides, this wasn't his baby. It was not at all wrong for him to not be willing to go that far for her.

So why did he feel so crummy about it?

"Ugh, I *have* to stop moping around like this!" Buffy moaned, walking towards him and sitting down next to him on the bed. "What can we do to occupy ourselves?"

Riley looked over at her face, utterly without guile, and forced himself to ignore the impure thoughts that filled his head. But it was *so* tempting to hold her chin in his had, tilt her face up, and kiss her passionately until they were both naked and quite occupied.

That was very wrong. She was currently very vulnerable. Besides, she was pregnant with someone else's baby. He was a sick sick man for having sexual thoughts about her! It didn't matter that he thought she was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. Buffy was off-limits.

"Um.. have you picked out all your classes for next semester yet? My schedule is all set, but I can tell you that picking out yours can kill a couple hours."

Buffy looked down at her lap. "I'm not going back to school next semester."

"What?" Riley asked, caught off guard.

"I have to get a job and make money so I can take care of the baby. I don't have time to go to school anymore."

"But people do it! I know it's hard, but you can do it all. I'll help you study and I really think your friends are going to come around… they'll baby-sit," Riley argued.

Buffy nodded and gave him a weak smile. "You're right. People do it and I will be able to get help... But I'm not going to be able to make a lot of money to begin with. It's going to be hard enough to make the kind of money to have a place to live and food and everything else the baby and I will need. I can't afford the thousands of dollars it takes to pay tuition and for schoolbooks. My parents paid it before… and they don't want to have anything to do with me."

Seeing her point, Riley's shoulders slumped. She was absolutely right. "It's just that you're so smart. When you put your mind to it, you learn so much. I just know that given an education, you can go so far. Plus, with any job you choose, you won't make as much money without a degree. You'll probably…"

"Struggle all my life to make ends meet," Buffy finished, nodding her head. "But what choice do I have?"

"It's just… it's really a shame, Buffy. And it's completely unfair."

"Hey," Buffy said, reaching over and squeezing his hand. "It's not that bad. Who knows, maybe I can get some kind of special scholarship. I just have to take some time off to get on my feet and then I can look into that."

Riley nodded, wishing he really did agree with her. As positive as she sounded, and as hard as he knew she could work at getting what she wanted, he feared that Buffy was heading towards a very hard life. But he could easily turn things around.

He could marry her and she wouldn't have to quit school. She would have a home and food and money and everything… and he just had to do one little thing. It wasn't even like he hated her; he adored Buffy. He loved spending time with her. She was beautiful. He realized that he had never told himself he would never want to marry her… just that now was a lot sooner than he wanted to marry anyone.

It might not be so bad… and if he did this it would change *everything* for Buffy… and that poor, innocent baby inside her. After all, it would suffer too. He knew Buffy would do anything for her baby, but still… there was only so much she *could* do… unless he married her.

He opened his mouth to tell her about the idea, but stopped suddenly. Marriage was a huge deal. And it was for people who loved each other. To marry her for the wrong reasons… wasn't that a sin? Even if it was to do something really good, it was not for the reasons he had been raised to believe one should have before getting married. Besides, was he really ready to quit dating? He didn't know Buffy *that* well. They could end up hating each other after a week.

Riley silently admonished himself for being a coward as he remained motionless next to her. Buffy was quiet as she tried to think of something to talk about or do to take their minds off this. She didn't need to feel sorry for herself and she wanted Riley's pity even less.

Luckily, they were interrupted by a knock at Riley's bedroom door. He jumped up and opened the door, finding Willow, Xander and Anya on the other side. Immediately, he noticed that Willow and Xander held suitcases, which meant that they must have gotten Buffy's clothes. At least she had that now.

"Hi guys," he greeted, stepping aside to let them in.

"Hey Riley," Willow replied as she walked in. Xander followed, exchanging nods with Riley, before Anya entered the room, without really acknowledging anyone. Riley watched her as she didn't even look at Buffy, just began examining the room. He wondered why Xander had dragged her along, since she didn't appear to want to be there.

Buffy got off the bed and stood awkwardly facing her friends. "Hey."

Willow set the suitcase down and wrung her hands nervously. "Hi Buffy."

Xander set his own suitcase down and decided to bite the bullet. Taking a step closer, he hugged Buffy tightly. "Hey Buffster! I've been worried about you. You're not mad at *me*, right? Because, if you didn't notice, I never said anything bad. I was just shell-shocked. Willow was the evil one this time."

"Xander!" Willow shrieked and slapped the back of the boy's head as Buffy smiled. It was a genuine smile, Riley realized, something he hadn't seen too many of from her lately. He was very glad her friends had come, because he loved seeing her happy.

"Hey, I am not wrong," Xander argued, then pulled a king-size Hershey bar out of an inner pocket in his coat. "I also brought this for you to ensure that I have your love."

"Aww," Buffy replied, taking the candy bar and holding it to her chest affectionately. "Okay, I love you forever."

"Buffy, I'm really sorry," Willow apologized, taking a tentative step closer. "What I said… it was wrong. Even if I don't think keeping the baby is best, if it's what you want, I support you. I'll support any decision you make."

The two girls embraced and Riley felt a little more happiness for Buffy. She really needed this. Suddenly, he also felt uncomfortable, like he was intruding on their private reunion.

Moving towards the door he said "I'm just going to go… elsewhere… so that you guys can be alone."

"No, Riley, don't go, please," Buffy said, giving him a pleading look.

Riley was taken aback, but nodded his head and smiled before going and leaning against the edge of his desk. Relaxing, Buffy sat back down on the bed with Willow and Xander sitting on each side of her.

"Your mom let me get some of your stuff. I got a lot of your clothes, plus your hairdryer and curling iron, all the hygiene stuff, make-up… hopefully everything you'll need for a while," said Willow.

"Thanks Will, it'll be so nice to have my own stuff. Poor Riley's had to lend me his clothes," she smiled. "And I can wear make-up… I am looking especially awful lately, so I would love to cover up."

"Oh please, Buff you look gorgeous as always," Xander argued with a grin. "By the by, I have a proposition for you… I know it's not the Ritz, but do you want to come stay with me?"

Buffy glanced over at Riley before plastering a smile on her face. "You really wouldn't mind? I mean, then I could get out of poor Riley's hair."

Riley tried not to ache at the thought of Buffy leaving. Why did it bother him, anyway? Xander was her friend, it's not like she'd be staying with some jerk that would try to take advantage of her situation. He realized he just didn't *want* her to leave... He'd miss her.

"Absolutely not. You may have to come in the back door, though… my parents probably wouldn't be thrilled… they might even try to charge me more rent."

"Wait a second, you are going to let *her* live with you?" Anya asked, suddenly interested in the conversation.

"That's what I said, Anya," Xander retorted.

"Well, no!" Anya protested, "You are *my* boyfriend and if *any* girl stays with you, it will be *me*! Besides, if she is there we won't have sex. Don't you remember that one time she was hanging out and I wanted to fornicate, but you said 'No, Buffy's here, we can't do it in front of her' so I had to wait until she left? It was horrible. I detested it."

"Anya, Buffy needs a place to live, I can't believe you are putting your own… desires… ahead of that," Xander replied.

"Well, *I* can! What kind of girl wouldn't mind another girl sharing a room with her boyfriend?" Anya shouted.

Xander rolled his eyes, "It's not like that!"

Seeing his chance, Riley stepped forward. "You know, I really don't mind Buffy staying here. And none of the guys have a problem with it. She can keep staying here until we figure something out."

Buffy was torn; on one hand, she didn't want to cause problems between Anya and Xander, but on the other, she didn't want to be a burden for Riley. "Are you sure? I feel so bad about doing this to you, Riley."

"I'm absolutely fine with it," Riley assured her, hoping nobody would protest.

"I wish I could offer you my house," Willow said, "But… you know how my parents are."

"Yeah, I understand," Buffy replied, then laughed humorlessly, "Hey, my own parents don't want me in their homes… I certainly don't expect anyone else's to."

Riley remained, for the most part, silent while Buffy talked things over with Xander and Willow. He used the opportunity to once again think over the marriage thing. When he had thought she might be leaving him, he realized that he had been fairly close to distraught over it. It made him see how much he really liked having Buffy around. He enjoyed being with her more than any other person he had ever met, girl or not. And even though marriage was a much bigger step and something he would normally never think of for a much longer time… if she needed it now, he didn't think it was such a bad idea.

After about half an hour, Buffy's friends decided to head on their way, promising to give her a call soon. Riley and Buffy were left alone… Riley knew it was his opportunity to tell her about the other option. He just had to work up the nerve…

"Riley, I really am sorry about this. I swear, Monday morning, I will be out applying for jobs," Buffy swore.

"Actually… I have another option," Riley said, "One where you would have a place to live, food, money… everything. This option would mean you could keep the baby and stay in school."

Buffy gave him an incredulous look. "That sounds *way* too good to be true. What do I have to do, sell my soul to the devil?"

Riley chuckled nervously and replied, "Marry me."

"What?" Buffy asked, thoroughly confused.

Taking a deep breath, Riley explained "Last night the guys felt the need to discuss your… our… predicament. Someone mentioned that there was this guy in the Initiative a while back who got his girlfriend pregnant. Anyway, they got married and because the Initiative is top-secret and they want to keep it that way… they hooked them up. They paid for them to have their own apartment, gave them extra money, everything. I am thinking I can get them agree to pay for your schooling for that very reason."

"Oh my God," Buffy gasped, "This is unreal."

"Look, I know it's not entirely honest, and that bothered me at first too… but this is like one of those gray areas. Sometimes lying can be a good thing, you know? And this way you and your baby will be all set up. I'd say that's a great reason."

"You're willing to marry me? This isn't your baby, Riley. You have absolutely no obligation."

Cautiously, Riley took Buffy's hand. "Buffy, I care about you. I want to help you out. You're my friend, you know?"

"Yeah, but this goes far beyond friendship, Riley! Marriage is… big!"

"I know, I'm aware of that. But think about the whole picture. This could make both yours and the baby's life *so* much better. It'll be easier on you… and you can give a lot more to the baby."

"I can't believe you are saying this. Riley… it's insane. I mean, I know you are a nice guy, but *I* screwed up, not you. And yes, marrying you would be improving my life greatly, but it would screw yours up."

"I wouldn't say that."

"Oh yeah, getting married young to a girl you just dated for a while who is pregnant to another guy's kid is a dream come true for you," Buffy replied sarcastically.

Riley sighed, "Buffy, hear me out. I heard about this last night. At first I tried to brush it off for that very reason, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. I've had quite a bit of time to think about this and I really don't think it's a horrible idea. I wouldn't mind it. Don't you trust me to make decisions for myself?"

Buffy shrugged her shoulders and looked down. "I'm worried you are getting too caught up in the idea of helping me… and you're not really thinking things through. Marriage, Riley... it's like a lifetime thing."

"It doesn't have to be," Riley replied. "We could get married for a year or something… agree that when the year is up, we get divorced. You can get full custody of the baby, you know I won't fight it, of course... and at the very least you get health insurance and money from the U.S. Military."

Buffy stood up and crossed her arms over her chest as she once again gazed out the window. "You have this all figured out, don't you?"

"Like I said, I thought this through."

Buffy nodded her head and turned around to face him. "I thank you for your generous offer, but no I won't marry you."

"Buffy, please be reasonable!" Riley pleaded, standing up and walking over to her.

"You're telling *me* to be reasonable? You want to get married and we have only known each other for three months! You're not even romantically interested in me!"

"I never said that."

"Fine, we are not romantically involved."

"I didn't mean that we had to have a 'real' marriage. We can have separate beds and rooms and everything."

Buffy was silent for a moment, trying to come up with an answer. There was no way she would agree to this. "Riley, you may be willing to do this, but I am not willing to let you."

"You know, it's one thing for you to not want to kill the baby and raise it in a life without a lot of money and everything... But this is by far not a horrible thing to do. I'm not going to expect you to be a wife to me. I'm not going to try to take your baby away. All I am going to do is help you provide for your baby. *This* is the best thing for the baby. If you're going to be a mother, you have to start thinking that way."

"You're saying I'm already a bad mother?"

"No… I'm just saying that you are young and you are acting that way. However, now you have to grow up real fast."

Buffy nodded her head and looked down. "I see. Look, why don't you keep your wisdom to yourself? I'm not getting married."

Riley watched as she rushed out of the room, shutting the door soundly behind her. He had no idea what to do. He'd figured Buffy would say no at first, since she really didn't want him to be inconvenienced by her, but she would see what a good idea it was and change her mind. He supposed it was rather pig-headed of him to actually expect Buffy to be full of gratitude towards him. Plus, just because she was pregnant didn't mean she wanted to give up her life to be married to him any more than he did for her. A commitment like that at age eighteen.... pretty scary stuff.

Instantly, he regretted trying to get her to agree by implying if she didn't, she was a bad mother. He hadn't meant it. Riley knew she was scared and confused. But how was he going to get her to see that this was the best thing to do? Well, time had worked for him. Maybe if Buffy could think about it for a while, she would see things his way.

Now all he had to do was find her… before she got herself into even more trouble.


Buffy rushed down the stairs, intent on getting as far away from Riley as fast as she could. She couldn't bear to deal with his disapproval. Not after all she had gone through with everyone else. He'd been the only one who had understood her, who had supported her without judgement… but now that had changed.

"Hey."

Buffy skidded to a stop to avoid smacking straight into Graham at the foot of the stairs. "Hi."

"Everything okay?"

"Um, yeah…I just need some fresh air," Buffy replied.

Knowing that something was indeed wrong, Graham suggested "How about I go with you? We could take a ride?"

Buffy didn't really feel up for company at the moment, but then again, Graham didn't ever give her the impression that he was much of a talker. "Sure."


Riley searched through the entire first floor of the house and didn't find her. He didn't want to start asking around because he didn't want questions, but Buffy was gone and he was worried. Finding Mike alone in the kitchen, he decided to take a chance.

"Hey, have you seen Buffy?"

"Yeah, I saw her getting in Graham's car with him a few minutes ago," Mike answered. "Is something wrong?"

"No, I just had to tell her something before she and Graham went out and I was hoping to catch her," Riley told him before leaving the room. He didn't want to give Mike a chance to ask *where* his girlfriend and best friend were going without him.

Riley headed back up to his room. As badly as he wanted to talk to Buffy, he'd have to wait. At least he knew she was with Graham. He'd do everything he could to keep her from running off… and he wouldn't say anything to deter her from marrying Riley. At least he was better than Forrest...


"So, what did you fight with Riley about?"

Buffy's jaw dropped in surprise as she looked at Graham across the table. "How did you know?"

"Well, for one thing, you just told me," Graham smiled, "Anyway, I could tell."

"It's always the quiet ones," Buffy replied, then took a deep breath. "I guess you know about this whole deal where if Riley marries me, the military will take care of the baby and I?"

"Yeah, I was there when Andy told Riley about it. I take it Riley decided he would go for it?"

Buffy nodded and stuck a french fry in her mouth. "He's totally nuts. I mean, I'm *pregnant* and it's not with his kid. He hasn't even graduated college yet. Why in the Hell would he want to marry me?"

"He likes you a lot," Graham replied, glad that he had gotten Buffy to agree to stopping for lunch at the coffee shop. He'd hoped they could talk things through and it appeared to be working. "If he marries you, this whole pregnancy thing isn't going to be so hard on you."

"I know… but this is a going way above and beyond what a friend would do. Marriage, Graham! Marriage!"

"Yes, marriage is a big deal. However, Riley decided he wanted to do it. Nobody persuaded him. If he didn't want to… he probably would have never even told you about it."

"But Riley's not like most people. He loves to help. I'm just afraid he is getting so caught up in the idea of helping me that he'd not really thinking about what this really means."

"Are you sure it's just Riley you're worried about? Maybe you're a little scared of it yourself?"

Buffy sighed and mulled it over. "Yeah, you're right. I mean, I'm just eighteen. And I know I don't get to be a normal teenager now because I'm going to be a mom, but couldn't getting married without really knowing the other person be just making things worse?"

"Well, yes, but you two get along. And I'm not so sure that Riley really thinks you two are going to be… like most married people."

"No, he said we wouldn't. He said we could have separate rooms and that after a year we could get divorced. We already would have agreed that of course he wouldn't try to get any custody and the baby and I would have financial support and health insurance. So, it's not a real marriage, but… well I always have this idea of what getting married would be like. Riley… well Riley is very possibly the kind of guy I dreamed of marrying, but not under these circumstances."

Graham nodded, "It's not romantic… but it really is the best thing for you and your baby."

"I just," Buffy started, trying to compose herself. She seemed to start crying at anything these days. "I won't do this and that's that."

Graham sighed, not really knowing what to say. How on Earth would they ever be able to convince Buffy to go along with this?


Riley was just starting to get into the football game when there was a knock at his bedroom door. Setting down his hoagie, he rolled from his position on his stomach off the bed before standing up and walking to the door. Relief washed over him when he saw Buffy on the other side.

"Hey," she said quietly, granting him a little smile.

"Hi, um… come in. Look, I want to tell you I am so sorry. It was completely wrong of me to say what I said to you. I didn't mean it and I only said it because I really feel that marrying me would help you so much and it's worth it. I know I shouldn't have tried that… but I was desperate."

"It's okay, Riley. You know, it's partially true. There are a lot of reasons why I really should do this, but there are several reasons that I can't."

Riley nodded and sat back on the bed. "I understand that, I do."

Deciding a subject change was in order, Buffy said "So I hear you guys are having a party tonight?"

Riley went along with it, "Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about it. I figure you probably aren't in a party mood, so we could hang out up here or I can check and see if we could see a movie or something."

"It's New Years Eve, the theater closes at six," Buffy said, shaking her head.

"Oh, well I could think of something else to do. Or we could just go to Santa Barbara. They aren't a small town like Sunnydale, so they probably have more open."

"You just don't want to go to your party because of me?" she asked.

"Well, like I said, I know you aren't in the mood," he answered. "And I would rather spend time with you than be at the party."

Buffy smiled and sat down beside him. "You're a really sweet guy, Riley."

"Thanks," he grinned, then moved back into his position on his stomach with the rest of his hoagie and a bag of chips in front of him. "Want some?"

Buffy shook her head, "I already had lunch. You know, staying with you guys I have realized something. You only eat foods that don't require utensils."

"That's right," Riley joked, "then we don't have to wash nearly as many dishes."

"I figured as much. You know… a party doesn't sound like such a bad idea."

"Yeah?" Riley asked, surprised.

Buffy nodded and smiled. "Hopefully Willow packed my leather pants."


"Thirsty?" Riley asked as he and Buffy slowly walked through the crowded living room of Lowell House. The party had just started a half-hour earlier and already the house was rocking.

Buffy nodded her head and smiled up at him, "That'd be nice."

Riley grabbed her by the elbow to stop her from going over to the punch bowl and instead led her to the kitchen. Seeing her quizzical look, he explained "Just in case the punch is spiked. I know none of the guys who live here would do it and I doubt anybody else would, but I really don't want to take chances with you… in your condition."

"Good idea," she agreed as they entered the empty kitchen. Buffy hadn't realized how loud the rest of the house was, but she was really appreciating the quiet.

Riley opened the refrigerator and pulled out two bottles of water for the both of them, then checked out the freezer and looked at Buffy. "Do you *really* want pizza and chips for dinner?"

"What's the alternative?"

Riley pulled out a Stouffer's frozen lasagna, "How's this?"

"Ooh… that sounds really good. How long does it take, though?" she asked. Hopefully it was fairly quick because her stomach was on the verge of growling.

"Well, we could have a snack while we wait. Chips make a bad dinner, but a *great* appetizer."

Buffy laughed and nodded, "It's a plan."


"Riley, there you are!" Waylon exclaimed as he entered the kitchen and found Riley and Buffy rinsing the dishes from their dinner to put in the dishwasher. "Hi Buffy."

"Hi," she replied, giving him a smile.

"What's the matter?" Riley asked, hoping nothing was broken or anything equally bad.

"We were just wondering where you were. It's after eleven and you've been gone for hours. We were afraid you'd miss the big countdown."

"Don't worry, we'll be out of here in a while… we'll be there for the countdown," Riley answered.

Buffy looked up at him and said, "Why don't you go ahead? You've given up most of your evening to be with me, I can finish this."

"I couldn't do that, you're our guest," Riley protested. "I'm not going to leave you here to wash dishes while I party."

"It's fine," Buffy assured him, "In fact, I wouldn't mind a little bit of time alone. Plus, there's not that much left to do. I'll be out there in a few minutes."

Riley wanted to insist on staying, but he could tell Waylon would make a big deal out of it, some way or another. And he definitely didn't want to suffocate her...

Nodding, he dried his hands on a towel. "You're sure?"

Buffy smiled and nodded her head as Waylon led Riley out of the room. She couldn't believe how late it was, the night had gone by so quickly. It was strange, she never usually let time get away from her like that. The only other times she had done it had been with Angel…

Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She couldn't let herself do that. Riley was a great guy, but she couldn't let herself feel for anyone what she felt for Angel. She couldn't give them the opportunity to hurt her like that. Besides, what were the odds of Riley truly feeling anything romantic towards her now that she was expecting Angel's baby? No matter what he had felt before, he only felt pity for her now. Getting his feelings confused would only break her heart... again.

And she refused to do that.


"So some of the guys did a patrol, right?" Riley asked Waylon as they drank beers in the living room.

"Yeah, but they didn't find a thing. I wonder when things will pick up again," Waylon answered. "Not that I am minding the break at all."

"I know… it just makes me feel uneasy."

"Relax… you are one tense Dude," Waylon laughed, "So… you talk to Buffy about tying the knot?"

Riley looked down, "Uh… yeah, but we're still undecided."

Waylon raised his eyebrows, rather surprised that she hadn't been jumping for joy. Then again, Buffy wasn't like most other girls he'd met… so he really shouldn't be surprised that she wasn't the type who dreamed of getting married. But it would happen; he just knew it.


Buffy sighed and pushed open the kitchen door, walking into the living room that was even more packed with partygoers. She had a feeling this was a fire hazard, but nobody else seemed to mind. After a moment, she spotted Riley on the other side of the room talking to a group of people, but was reluctant to join him. She'd been attached to his hip for the past two days and didn't want to suffocate him. Buffy had been to many parties before and she hadn't had a problem socializing.

Putting a smile on her face, Buffy started moving her way through the room, looking for any familiar faces. Almost immediately, a voice behind her called her name. Turning, she saw a boy from her English class smiling at her.

"Hi," she grinned, trying desperately to remember his name, "Kyle?"

"How you doing?" he asked, apparently not having a problem with being called Kyle.

"I'm great… enjoying the time off school. You?"

"Pretty much the same. I was in New York visiting family and I just got back in town yesterday. Were you in Sunnydale the whole time?"

"Yeah, I'm actually from here," she replied, opting not to mention her 'trip' to LA. She certainly didn't want to have to tell Kyle-from-English-class what she was doing there.

"Hey, want a beer?" he asked as he offered her a bottle of Michelob.

"Um.. no thanks."

"Come on, its New Years! The beginning of a new millenium. You gotta celebrate."

"I can celebrate without drinking," Buffy replied.

"Come on, this is college, you gotta…"

"I don't want to drink!" Buffy repeated more vehemently.

Kyle took a step back, a surprised look on his face. "Okay… sorry."

Buffy ran her hands over her face and sighed. "No, I'm sorry. I'm just… I shouldn't be here. I'll see you around, okay?"

Kyle nodded, confused by her behavior. Buffy realized that if couldn't be like before. *She* wasn't like before. Even if she was only a month along, she was a mother now. She had a whole new set of problems. She couldn't drink and have fun like the rest of them because she was carrying a baby. She couldn't go to school because she needed money. She wasn't a kid in any way, shape or form anymore.

She started walking up the stairs, hoping to sit around and watch the ball drop in New York from the privacy of Riley's room. However, she stopped when she heard a voice behind her.

"Hey Buffy, need some company?"

Buffy jerked around to see Parker standing at the foot of the stairs, smirking up at her. She was so shocked that he'd even acknowledged her existence that his words didn't register with her right away. "Parker?"

"Normally I'm not really down with repeating history, but I've been drinking and who knows… the world could end at midnight tonight. Let's go out with a bang, Buffy," Parker said, before he began laughing at his own joke.

Buffy's back straightened and her fists clenched in anger. In that moment, she couldn't believe she had ever fallen for Parker. She was about to march down the stairs and beat the crap out of him, not caring who saw her beating up a guy twice her size, when she saw Riley tap Parker on the shoulder.

Parker looked over at Riley. "Hey man."

"Hey," Riley replied, before pulling his fist back. "Haven't you done enough to Buffy already?"

Buffy was already rushing down the stairs when Riley's fist connected with Parker's face. Parker didn't know what was going on as Riley grabbed him at the collar with both hands and began shaking him. "You little asshole, you don't deserve to lick the scum off her toilet! I can't believe you had the nerve to sleep with her and then treat *her* like *she* is the trash!"

"Riley, it's okay," Buffy tried calming him, all the while bewildered. How did he know what had happened?

"No, it's not okay," Riley said, "Not only does he have sex with you and dump you, but then he's put you and your baby in this situation… and now he wants to sleep with you *again*?"

Buffy was completely confused. How did Parker put her in this situation? "What are you talking about?"

"You don't deserve her! It's almost a good thing that you aren't involved with the baby because it's *Buffy's* baby, which means it is too good for you too," Riley told Parker before tossing him against the wall and pulling his fist back again to pummel him. Luckily, Graham appeared and grabbed Riley's arm, pulling him away.

"He's not worth it, Ri," he told his friend as he dragged him away.

"Look what he's done to Buffy!"

"I know, but if you do this in front of everyone, you'll only make it worse for her," Graham reasoned, gesturing to the small crowd of people staring at him. Luckily, most of the party hadn't noticed but still… there were quite a few of them.. plus Buffy. She was standing there with her arms hugging herself, looking more hurt and embarrassed than he'd ever seen her.

Riley took a few calming breaths and nodded, letting Graham know he wasn't going to go after Parker again. He took a step towards Buffy, hoping to apologize, but she turned around quickly and pushed her way through the crowd in an attempt to escape him.

Shaking his head, Riley groaned before giving Graham an apologetic look and heading after her. Not for the first time in his life, he found being large was a burden. Buffy was tiny and was able to push through the people in the house with relative ease, whereas Riley was the exact opposite. It took him a lot longer to move, and he quickly lost sight of her.

Hoping that she'd been heading towards the kitchen door, since that was the closest exit from the house and she seemed to want to get away from people, he went that way. Riley knew he really needed to find her fast; slayer or not, she was far too vulnerable in her mental condition as well as pregnant to be out on her own at night in Sunnydale. At least all the vampires and demons seemed to be on vacation.

At long last he made it to the kitchen, then had to push himself through a crowd of guys who were cheering on a couple of guys playing Ten Shot Drop, but soon found himself opening the kitchen door and entering the cold night. He hated the thought of her being out there and- even worse- the way she was probably feeling.

And it was all *his* fault this time.


Buffy walked blindly down the path, not really paying attention to where she was going. She didn't care where, she just had to keep *going*. At that moment, she hated herself more than anything. Sure, Riley had humiliated her, Parker had treated her like crap and Angel… had made yet another decision with no regard to her feelings… but she had let them. All of them had only been able to do what they had done to her because she had put herself in a position to give them the chance. She'd been too trusting, too pathetic and made bad choices. Now she was going to pay for them.

Noticing a bench a few feet off the path, Buffy sat down and crossed her arms over her chest in an attempt to keep the cold air from bothering her. What was she going to do? She certainly couldn't spend the night out there, but on the other hand, she was far too humiliated to face Riley and all his friends. Buffy had no idea that he'd known about Parker. He knew what a fool she was… and he thought this was Parker's baby. It was even worse than she'd originally thought. Riley thought she was some sweet little naïve girl who'd been seduced by the wicked campus sleazebag and gotten herself knocked up. How very pathetic. Of course, the fact that the truth wasn't *that* far off and was possibly even more pathetic didn't help matters.

Sighing, she shook her head to stop herself from going over the details of the past few minutes over and over in her mind. It wasn't going to help her. If she couldn't go back to Lowell House, Buffy had to figure out where else to go. Xander and Willow couldn't help her… she didn't know *what* would happen if she went to Giles… and her mother most certainly would not let her stay at home if she was keeping the baby.

Maybe she should just have an abortion. There were so many problems *because* of the baby… if it was gone, her problems would disappear as well. She could continue on as she had been before. Maybe even her father would forgive her.

As soon as the idea came to her mind, Buffy dismissed it. She couldn't kill this baby! There was no rhyme or reason as to why she was pregnant... there was something that wasn't scientific at work. Besides, she hadn't lied when she had said she already loved the baby. Buffy had killed someone she loved once before and it had nearly killed her, she doubted she could survive it a second time.

Buffy closed her eyes and tried to get herself together. She was keeping the baby. That meant both her parents were not an option. Xander and Willow did not have the means to put a roof over her head, so they weren't an option either. That left Riley and... maybe Giles.

Giles loved her; she was sure of it. Of course, her parents loved her as well… but it was different with Giles. He was better at the whole unconditional love thing. He hadn't shamed her when she had given her virginity to Angel, or so many of the other mistakes she had made over the years. Giles would probably let her stay with him, even if he didn't agree with her decision. The only thing was, she'd have to see that look of disappointment on his face. The look that threatened to break her heart every time she saw it. But what choice did she have? It was either Riley's where she would find humiliation and pity, or Giles' where she would find immense guilt.

"Buffy!"

Opening her eyes, Buffy jerked her head in time to see Riley break into a run towards her. For a millisecond, she contemplated making a run for it. After all, she was the slayer and could probably leave him in the dust. But why bother? She still wasn't positive she wouldn't ended up going back to his place, and if she did decide to go to Giles', Riley couldn't stop her.

Out of breath, he knelt in front of her and gently grabbed her arms, as though afraid she would take off. "Thank God, you're okay, I was so worried."

"Despite popular belief and any impressions you may have gotten over the past few days, I can take care of myself," she replied quietly.

Riley looked down for a second before meeting her eyes once again. "I know that. I'm sorry, I just care about you. Sometimes logical stuff like you being able to kick my ass doesn't factor into my feelings."

Buffy smiled for a second before feeling anger flare up inside her. "How dare you fight my battles for me! I could have handled Parker! I would have, had you not gone macho man on him!"

"I know that," he said, "He just made me so mad. Parker is a complete asshole and when I heard the crap he was saying to you, all I felt was an impulse to attack."

"How did you know about him anyway?" Buffy asked, the anger slipping away almost completely. It hadn't really been anger in the first place. It was more embarrassment and the slightest hint of annoyance.

Riley moved around to sit next to her on the bench before answering, "Parker likes to talk."

"Figures," she said, "Look, it's not how it seemed. When I was… with… Parker… I had just gotten out of a relationship with someone I loved. I had been with him since I was sixteen. He was my first love. I admit that I was rather naïve because my only experience had been with someone who loved me and, for the most part, treated me well. Take that… lack of knowledge about the ways of some men.. and add to it the fact that I was lonely and out of place being a freshman, and I made an idiot out of myself. I'm not some simpering, pitiful female."

"Buffy, there are a lot of words I would use to describe you, but simpering and pitiful you are not. Parker does this to a lot of girls, smart girls who are respectable and not twits or anything like that. He knows how to play you to get what he wants. Don't be ashamed."

"Trust me when I say I wish I could forget it ever happened."

"Yeah, I guess that's impossible now… since you're carrying the result of it," Riley replied mournfully.

Buffy bit her bottom lip, bracing herself for whatever reaction Riley might have to what she was about to say. "Actually, Parker is *not* the father of my baby."

"He's not?" Riley asked, turning his head sharply to her. "But… who, then? I mean, I know we didn't really hang out until November, but I don't recall seeing or hearing about you with anyone else."

"Well, remember the 'first love' I just mentioned? He and I… had a… temporary thing… Thanksgiving weekend."

"Oh."

Buffy chuckled, "I guess I burst a few of your bubbles about me, huh?"

Riley pretended to think it over for a moment before shaking his head. "Nah, you're still caring, sweet, smart and beautiful."

Buffy flushed at the beautiful comment, "You're a strange guy, Riley. Most men would have run far, far away from me by now."

"I can't help it… I'm drawn to you like a moth to a flame," Riley responded, then frowned. "I just called myself an insect. An *ugly* insect. Forget I said that."

Buffy laughed softly and Riley allowed himself to enjoy the moment. He just wished they would have more of them, but odds were not in their favor. However, he was feeling himself get caught up in the spirit of the evening and decided to be a little out of character. He wanted to have fun.

"I have something to ask you, but I don't want you to freak out," he told her.

"Okay…" Buffy replied, unsure of where he was going.

"Will you marry me?" he asked, then smiled as she sighed and opened her mouth to retort. "I've decided to ask you every day until you say yes."

Buffy smiled and touched her hand to the side of his face. "You're truly a remarkable man, Riley."

"Is that a yes?"

"No, my answer is still no," she assured him, "Besides, you still don't know the whole story. You don't know about the father… and if you did, you would surely change your mind."

"Why don't you give me a chance? Tell me about him… unless it's too hard to talk about."

"If I told you… you'd probably never speak to me again."

"It could never happen. Will you tell me?"

"It could happen. He's not human."

"Okay, I am still saying if it's painful this conversation can wait, but the whole 'not human' thing is really a cliffhanger, so I really want you to tell me," Riley replied, "Oh no, the father's not a Prachan demon, is it? Because their babies are *grotesque*! I mean, I guess your baby would be half-human and you know I find no fault in your looks, but with all the slime and those horns…"

Buffy began to laugh and put a hand up, "Riley, stop."

"Oh… sorry."

"The father isn't human now… but he was when I got pregnant," she explained. "He's a vampire."

"Oh no… the guy you loved got turned?"

"Not exactly," she replied. "You see… it's a long story. The gist of it is Angel- that's the guy's name- has been a vampire for about two and a half centuries… but, for the last century he has had his soul. When I was sixteen and moved here, he moved here as well to help me. I fell in love with him before I knew what he was... And by that time it was too late for me. I was lost. We tried to stay away, but it was too hard. Vampire and slayer didn't matter. We thought that our love was enough to make it work."

"But it didn't," Riley concluded.

Buffy shook her head and continued, "On my seventeenth birthday, we… um… we slept together. And that soul I mentioned went away. You see, he had gotten the soul back after he killed a gypsy girl and the soul was his curse. Anyway, there was a loophole in the curse and our… consummation… was the key. So he went all evil for a few months. We were able to give him his soul back, though. We spent a year being on-again, off-again, but the fear of him losing his soul was too much for him. He left me because he wanted me to have a normal life with a normal guy and he knew I wouldn't do that with him around. So now he's in LA."

"God, Buffy… I'm so sorry," Riley said, pushing aside his feelings of disgust over her being with a *vampire* since all she had gone through had to have been unbearable. He had a new respect for her.

"The day after Thanksgiving I went to see him and he ended up fighting this demon and accidentally becoming human. We still had feelings for each other so… we made a baby, obviously. But Angel realized quickly that if he was human, he was weak… so the got the day taken away. I forgot it… but I started having dreams about it… only I didn't know… but then when I was found out I was pregnant I just *knew* that they weren't just dreams, so I went and saw Angel and made him tell me. He did… and I told him about the baby. I thought that because I love him and he loves me we could figure something out. After all, a baby changes everything. But instead he said that he's a vampire and can't be a father… and he wanted me to have an abortion."

"I don't understand," Riley interrupted, "If the day was taken away, how are you still pregnant? It doesn't make sense."

Buffy shook her head fervently and smiled. "It doesn't… don't you see? I shouldn't be having this baby, but I am… that means something."

Riley nodded, "It's special… it's like you were *meant* to."

"Exactly!" she exclaimed. "That's what I told Angel, but… it didn't matter to him. He doesn't want me to keep the baby. But he didn't pressure me. He just says he can't be there. He did offer to give me all the money I need, but I refused. It probably makes you want to smack me, right? I know my mom did. I know I am being irrational, especially considering my financial status… but I don't want him to be able to not feel guilty for abandoning us because he slips me money."

"Buffy, I was raised to have pride. Sometimes pride does get in the way, and perhaps that is the situation you are in… but I understand it. I can't say if I was in your situation, I wouldn't have done the same thing."

Buffy smiled sadly at him and said, "You never cease to amaze me."

"Oh! It's twelve-o-three!" he gasped. "We missed the countdown!"

"I'm sorry, Riley! I ruined the whole… ringing in the new year thing for you."

"It's fine, Buffy," he assured her. "Believe me when I say that there is no place I would have preferred to be, no person I would have wanted to spend it with more than you."

"I'm a very messed up person," she replied.

"I adore the person you are," he grinned. "It's Saturday now."

"Yeah?" she asked, unsure of where he was going.

"It's another day… time to ask… will you marry me?"

Buffy quirked an eyebrow and was silent for a moment. "Okay."

Caught off guard, Riley looked at her more closely. "Okay?"

"Yes," she nodded, "I will marry you."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to hear this… but why did you change your mind all of a sudden?"

Buffy shrugged and smiled half-heartedly at him. "We just made it to the new millenium. The world didn't end."

"Actually, all this talk of this being the new millenium is wrong. They started at year one, not zero, so therefore the year 2000 is part of the old millenium. 2001 is actually the beginning of a new millenium."

"Damn," she replied wryly. "Here I thought something big had happened… now I have another year of worrying."

Riley smiled and squeezed her shoulder. "Don't forget, I have seen you avert the apocalypse firsthand. Now tell me why all of a sudden you're agreeing to marry me."

"You're right; marrying you is the best thing I could do for myself. Even more important, it's the best thing I can do for my baby. I have to start thinking in regards to that. It's just that this is so complicated. I have to consider you and the fact that this doesn't help you in any way. It actually hurts you because it's making you lie and move out of your home… even if we aren't married in every sense of the word, you won't have the freedom you do now," she sighed.

"Yes, but I *am* an adult. You aren't deciding for me… I decided for myself."

"I know that, but it doesn't make me feel any less guilty about it," she told him, "Still… I'm willing to deal with that guilt if you are truly willing to do this."

"I am," he nodded, "So… you didn't really believe this was the best thing before?"

"No, I did… it's just that I felt that everything else that wasn't so great that came along with it made it not worth it," she replied. "I'm going to be divorced at twenty. Hey, if we get married fast enough, I'll be divorced at nineteen. When I dreamed about getting married, it was a lifetime thing. You know, the big beautiful summer wedding, with me all in white, feeling like the most gorgeous woman on the planet. My dad would give me away and I would be so happy… so excited about spending the rest of my life with the man I loved."

"You can still have that."

Buffy smiled and replied, "Riley I'll never have that. I probably never would have… being a slayer. But especially now. I mean, I'm going to try dating with a kid. My Mr. Perfect is going to have to not only love me, but my son or daughter."

Riley wanted to grab her and tell her that he could be that guy. He wanted to shout that she made him feel things that no other girl had. He loved children and he wanted to be a father someday. Sure, this wasn't the way he'd imagined starting a family, but they could make it work.

But that would be bad. Buffy could barely handle a marriage of convenience… if he told her he wanted to have a real marriage… she'd freak. "You're an amazing person, Buffy. I'm certain that you will be able to find a guy like that."

"I'm not," she sighed. "Look at my track record. Angel- really great love thing going, but major angst as well. I mean, the fates were just laughing their asses off at us during that relationship. Parker- total loser. And you- everything was going great until I found out I'm pregnant with Angel's baby, got kicked out of my house, and now you're stuck marrying me."

"They say the third time's a charm," he said optimistically.

Buffy chuckled, "That's true. I guess we'll never know what might have been between us."

"If there is one thing you have taught me, Buffy, it's never say never. Ever since I met you… the most unexpected things keep happening."

"I have a way of doing that. You can be doing great, enjoying life… and then you meet me and life as you knew it is long gone."

"Can we go home now? I'm cold," Riley grinned.

Buffy nodded and stood up, "Sounds fine with me. Although I must say, I'm not in much of a partying mood."

"That's fine," he replied, standing up as well. "We can hang out in my room until things quiet down enough for us to sleep. I'm sure we have a long day tomorrow… cleaning up… and making wedding plans."

"Yeah," Buffy said absently as they walked back towards Lowell House. She was actually going to plan her *wedding* the next day. All of a sudden, she felt exhausted. Her life had changed so drastically in the past few days… she dreaded when the realization of what had happened would really hit her.

Riley couldn't believe he was going to have to think about his wedding the next day either. Even more surprising, though, was the fact that he was almost excited about it. As much as he liked his life as it was… he was looking forward to a new one with Buffy.

Tomorrow was bound to be interesting.


"That's it!" Forrest exclaimed, "You have gone off the deep end!"

"Shut up, I have not," Riley replied as they tossed the trashbags in the dumpster. It had taken hours of every occupant in the house working hard, but they'd gotten it all cleaned up.

"What is it about Buffy? I mean, you're a perfectly normal guy until you're around her and then you lose your mind," Forrest ranted. "I can't believe you are marrying her."

"Well I am, so I suggest you grasp the idea and fast. We're going to start getting things together today so that we can get this done as soon as possible. I managed to get Colonel Nichols to agree to meet with me this afternoon. I hope they can set Buffy up with health insurance really fast. You wouldn't believe all the vitamins and stuff she has to take."

"This is insane," Forrest sighed, shaking his head as they walked back into the house. "Why am I the only one who sees it?"

"Because you have some strange distrust of women. Are you sure you didn't fall in love with your kindergarten teacher?" Riley joked. Still, he did wonder why Forrest seemed to always think women weren't to be trusted. He swore up and down that he didn't have some story of having his heart broken, but Riley didn't see how he got to be this way. Then again, Forrest was always the cynical one.

"I'm just giving you fair warning: you will learn to regret this and I *will* remind you that I told you so."

"I'm shocked," Riley replied sarcastically.

"Give him a break, Forrest," Nathaniel said as he walked by. "Ignore him, Riley. Forrest is just scared he's gonna lose his little buddy."

Riley laughed as Forrest glared at Nathaniel. As the two of them started bickering, Riley headed through the house in search of Buffy. He found her sitting at the kitchen table talking to Graham. Upon his entrance, they both looked over at him.

"Hey Riley, can you believe Buffy's first roommate was a Mok'tagar demon?" Graham asked, clearly impressed.

Buffy shrugged and smiled, "It's that amazing karma I have."

"Hey, you keep life interesting," Riley replied as he sat down beside her.

"So I've been told," Buffy said. "When do you have to go to that meeting thing?"

"Two," Riley answered, "I'm going to want to shower and I have to get in uniform for it, though, so I will probably want to get ready right after lunch."

"Okay, that's fine," Buffy nodded, "Actually, I was wondering if I could use your computer. There's some things I'd like to look up on the internet about babies and stuff."

"That's a great idea!" Riley replied enthusiastically, "After my meeting, maybe we can talk and start making more definite plans, since we know exactly what we'll need to do."

"Don't forget that we're taking you two out to dinner," Graham reminded Buffy.


Confused, Riley asked "What?"

Graham smiled at his friend and explained, "The guys want to take your two out to celebrate your engagement so we're all going out to dinner tonight. Waylon made reservations and everything."

"You've got to be kidding," sighed Riley.

Graham shrugged, "At least we've almost talked him out of the bachelor party. Although, it would be fun to see how uncomfortable you would be getting a lapdance." He chuckled as he looked at Buffy and added, "Riley gets *so* embarrassed at strip clubs. He does not like them!"

Buffy quirked an eyebrow and smirked at Riley as he blushed furiously. He really was adorable; definitely a guy she would want to be in a relationship with… a real one. If only…


"What am I supposed to do?" Mike hissed.

"Keep them busy," Thomas replied, "I don't care what you do, just make sure they don't go upstairs."

Mike sighed, trying to figure out just how he was going to do that. "Do you have *any* ideas?"

Thomas simply shrugged and said, "You'll think of something."

Reluctantly, Mike turned and pushed open the kitchen door, instantly giving Buffy and Riley his biggest grin. "Hey you two!"

Riley found it strange to see his friend so... enthusiastic, but ignored it and replied, "Hi Mike."

"Hi," Buffy smiled.

"So, you two looking forward to dinner tonight?" Mike asked as he pulled up a chair. Perhaps this wasn't his best idea... they seemed to have been in deep discussion before he walked in. He could have just waited outside the kitchen and if either of them had emerged before the coast was clear he could have stopped them. Oh well, it was too late now.

"Uh, yeah," Buffy replied, looking at him strangely. "I mean… I enjoy food."

"Have you ever been to Armando's?" he inquired, hoping Riley wouldn't take notice of how strange he was acting and realize he was doing it to keep them away from Riley's bedroom.

"No, I don't think so," Buffy replied. "Where is it?"

"It's in Oxnard," he replied, "It's a half hour drive, but it's the best Italian food in the world, so it's worth it. All of us really love it, right Riley?"

Riley nodded and stood up, "I better go start getting ready for my meeting."

"No!"

Both Buffy and Riley looked at Mike as though he had grown another head.

Mike tried to calm himself and smiled. "I mean, you have plenty of time, Ri, can't you sit and talk to us for… oh…" glancing at his watch, he saw that the guys had been in Riley's room for two and a half minutes, "seven and a half minutes or so."

"Is everything okay, Mike?" Riley asked.

"Fine," he assured them, "I just don't really know Buffy and she's going to be marrying one of my friends soon!"

"Well, I'm sure Buffy would like to talk to you… and can do it while I get ready."

"Maybe Buffy feels uncomfortable talking to me alone since she doesn't really know me," Mike countered.

Buffy opened her mouth to protest when Riley laughed, "Are you serious? Buffy is fine with it, aren't you Buffy?"

Mike ignored Buffy nodding and said, "Riley you'll be moving out soon. We should hang while we can. Will… six minutes kill you?"

Sighing, Riley sat down. "Okay…"

"Um… hey, remember that time we captured a Maksaw demon? Tell Buffy about it!"

 

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