Anne

Xander: First of all, what was with the acrobatics? How did that happen?
Oz: Wasn't Andy Hoelich on the gymnastics team?
Xander: That's right, he was! Cheater!

Xander: Okay, and the, uh, second problem I'm having...'Come and get it, Big Boy'?
Willow: Well... W-well, the Slayer always says a pun or-or a witty play on words, and I think it throws the vampires off, and, and it makes them *frightened* because I'm wisecracking. Okay, I didn't really have a chance to work on that one, but you try it every time.

Oz: Uh, if I may suggest: 'This time it's personal.' I mean, there's a reason why it's a classic.

Xander: I've always been amazed with how Buffy fought, but...in a way, I feel like we took her punning for granted.

Willow: Oh, I'm gonna be busy a lot. But, but only till 3:00, and that's when you usually get up.

Xander: I can't wait to see Cordelia. I can't believe I can't wait to see Cordelia.

Willow: I wonder what our first homework assignment's gonna be. Hey, you're excited over Cordelia, okay? We've all got issues.

Buffy: How did you find me here?

Angel: If I was blind, I would see you.

Buffy: Stay with me.
Angel: Forever. That's the whole point. I'll never leave. Not even if you kill me.

Buffy: We've got a peach pie. I can't guarantee there's a peach in it.

Willow: No, he got away. We still have some glitches in the system, like... vampires getting away. But I think we're improving.

Giles: For God's sake be careful. I mean, uh, I appreciate your efforts to keep the vampire population down until Buffy returns, but, uh... Well, if anything should happen to you and... you should be killed, I should take it somewhat amiss.
Willow: You'd be cranky?
Giles: Entirely.

Willow: Well, we try not to get killed. That's part of our whole mission statement. 'Don't get killed.'

Cordelia: He didn't meet anybody over the summer, did he? No, who's he gonna meet in Sunnydale, but monsters and stuff? But then again he's always been attracted to monsters.

Oz: Well, it's sort of a funny story. You remember when I didn't graduate?
Willow: Well, I know you had a lot of incompletes, but that's what summer school was for.
Oz: Yeah. Well, you remember when I didn't go?

Larry: If we can focus, keep discipline, and not have quite as many mysterious deaths, Sunnydale is gonna *rule*!

Willow: I'm trying to get to cute, really. But I'm still sorta stuck on 'strange'. 

Oz: Well, I'd be willing to bargain down to 'eccentric' with an option on 'cool'.

Xander: And what makes this different from the last nine leads?
Giles: Well, there's a meal on this flight.
Xander: Look, I don't mean to poop the party here, it's just, you get your hopes all up, and then it's just a big fat raspberry, and I feel bad.

Oz: I don't know. I think we're kinda getting a rhythm down.
Xander: We're losing half the vamps.
Oz: Yeah, but... rhythmically.

Buffy: This'll probably go faster if we split up.
Lily: Can I come with you?
Buffy: Okay, where did I lose you on the whole splitting up thing?

Nurse: What are you doing?
Buffy: Breaking into your office and going through your private files.

Buffy: I don't want any trouble. I just want to be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don't even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one. Instead, I keep getting trouble, which I am more than willing to share.

Xander: You don't hide. You're bait. Go act baity.

Cordelia: What's the plan?
Xander: The vampire attacks you.
Cordelia: And then what?
Xander: The vampire kills you. We watch, we rejoice.

Buffy: You know, I just... I woke up, and I looked in the mirror, and I thought, hey, what's with all the sin? I need to change. I'm... I'm dirty. I'm, I'm bad with the... sex and the envy and that, that loud music us kids listen to nowadays. W...Oh, I just suck at undercover.

Buffy: I'm Buffy. The Vampire Slayer. And you are...?

Ken: That... was not... permitted.
Buffy: Yeah, but it was fun.

Buffy: Hey, Ken, wanna see my impression of Gandhi?
Lily: Gandhi?
Buffy: Well, you know, if he was really pissed off.

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Dead Man's Party

Buffy: I'd like to find Willow and Xander.
Joyce: Will you be slaying?
Buffy: Only if they give me lip.

Buffy: Didn't anyone ever warn you about playing with pointy sticks? It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.

Xander: Check it out. The Watcher is back on the clock. And just when you were thinking career change, maybe becoming a... a looker or a... a seer.

Buffy: I got in a few hours ago, but I wanted to go see my mom first.
Giles: Yes. Yes, of course. How, how did you find her?
Buffy: Well, I pretty much remembered the address.

Oz: Hey, so you're not wanted for murder anymore.
Buffy: Good. That was such a drag.

Xander: So where were you? Did you go to Belgium?
Buffy: Why would I go to Belgium?
Xander: I think the relevant question is why wouldn't you? Bel-gium!

Xander: Whatever, we were kicking a little undead booty.

Buffy: Well, thank you for the offer, but I think I just wanna get back to my normal routine. You know, school, slaying... kid's stuff.

Buffy: What about home schooling? You know, it's not just for scary religious people anymore.

Buffy: Welcome to the Hellmouth Petting Zoo.

Oz: It looks dead. It smells dead. Yet it's movin' around. That's interesting.

Oz: Well, I like it. I think you should call it Patches.

Oz: We should figure out what kinda deal this is. I mean, is it a-a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny?
Cordelia: What's the difference?
Oz: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny.
Xander: Well, I hate brie.
Cordelia: I know. It smells like Giles' cat.
Giles: It's not my...

Xander: Okay, so one vote from the Old Guy for a Smelly Cheese Night, and how many votes for actual fun, huh?

Giles: Unbelievable. 'Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead!' Americans.

Xander: Look. I'm sorry that your honey was a demon, but most girls don't hop a Greyhound over boy troubles.

Willow: No, let them go, Oz. Talking about it isn't helping. We might as well try some violence…I was being sarcastic!

Joyce: What do we do if they get in?
Xander: I kind of think we die.

Giles: Cordelia, it's me! It's me!
Cordelia: How do we know it's really you and not zombie Giles?
Giles: Cordelia, do stop being tiresome.
Cordelia: It's him.

Oz: I think the Dead Man's Party's moved upstairs.

Xander: Generally speaking, when scary things get scared: not good.

Joyce: Are you all right?
Buffy: Yeah.

Joyce: So, is this a typical day at the office?
Buffy: No. This was nothing.

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Faith, Hope and Trick

Cordelia: Oh, you mean 'cause of how the only guy that ever liked her turned into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog?
Xander: Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell, or what?

Xander: Buffy, banned from campus, but not from our hearts, how are you and what's for lunch?

Buffy: First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand-cut prosciutto.
Xander: I don't believe she slays, either.
Oz: Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn't like to.

Willow: Ooo, Scott Hope at eleven o'clock. He likes you. He wanted to ask you out last year, but you weren't ready then. But I think you're ready now, or at least in the state of pre-readiness to make conversation, or-or to do that thing with your mouth that boys like. Oh! I didn't mean the bad thing with your mouth, I meant that little half-smile thing that you... You're supposed to stop me when I do that.
Oz: I like when you do that.

Willow: I think that went very well. Don't you think that went very well?
Cordelia: He didn't try to slit our throats or anything. That's progress.

Xander: Oh, you wanna date. I saw that half-smile, you little slut.

Buffy: All right, yes, date and shop and hang out and go to school and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I wanna do girlie stuff!

Trick: Sunnydale. Town's got quaint. And the people? He called me 'sir'. Don't you just miss that? I mean, admittedly, it's not a haven for the brothers, you know, strictly the Caucasian Persuasion here in the Dale. But, you know, you just gotta stand up and salute their death rate. I ran a statistical analysis, and hello darkness. It makes...D.C. look... like Mayberry, and ain't nobody saying boo about it. We could fit right in here. Have us some fun.

Buffy: Hello, my life, how I've missed you.

Oz: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say there's a new Slayer in town.

Faith: God, I could eat a horse. Isn't it crazy how slayin' just always makes you hungry and horny?
Buffy: Well... Sometimes I-I crave a nonfat yogurt afterwards.

Faith: Oh, it's boring. Way too stuffy for a guy like you.
Buffy: Um, maybe I should introduce you again. Faith, this is Giles.
Faith: I see him. If I'd've known they came that young and cute, I would've requested a transfer.
Buffy: Raise your hand if 'ew'.

Willow: There's big evil brewin'. You'll never be bored here, Faith. 'Cause this is Sunnydale, home of the big brewin' evil.

Willow: And over here, we have the cafeteria, where we were mauled by snakes.
Xander: And this is the spot where Angel tried to kill Willow.
Willow: Oh, and over there in the lounge is where Spike and his gang nearly massacred us all on Parent-Teacher night.
Willow: Oh, a-and up those stairs, I was sucked into a muddy grave.
Xander: And they say young people don't learn anything in high school nowadays, but, um, I've learned to be afraid.

Buffy: Mom, the only way you get a new Slayer is when the old Slayer dies.
Joyce: Then that means you... When did you die? You never told me you died!
Buffy: No, i-it was just for a few minutes.

Buffy: Yeah, and mine's the sane one. The girl's not playing with a full deck, Giles. She has almost no deck. She has a three.

Buffy: Giles, there are two things that I don't believe in: coincidence and leprechauns.

Buffy: Angel was cured.
Giles: I'm sorry?
Buffy: When I killed him, Angel was cured. Your spell worked at the last minute, Will. I was about to take him out, and, um... something went through him... and he was Angel again. He-he didn't remember anything that he'd done. He just held me. Um, but i-it was... it was too late, and I, I had to. So I, I told him that I loved him... and I kissed him... and I killed him.

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Beauty and The Beasts aka All Men Are Beasts

Xander: Private Harris reporting for Oz watch.

Xander: Uh, no worries. I can handle the Oz Full Monty. I mean, not 'handle' handle, like 'hands to flesh' handle.
Willow: Okay. Well, it's not for you. It's for me, 'cause I'm still getting used to half a Monty.
Xander: Oh. Good. Half? You and Oz? Which half?
Willow: Wouldn't you like to know?

Faith: All men are beasts, Buffy.

Scott: Oh, well, we're not up to flowers. Are we? Up to flowers? Did I miss flowers?
Buffy: No. We're pre-posy. Definitely.

Giles: Right. It's good to see you. Um, no need to panic.
Oz: Just a thought. Poker: not your game.

Giles: How long... *exactly* did you...rest your eyes for?
Xander: A little now, uh, a little then. But I never heard Oz leave, and he was here in the morning when I, um...when I...
Giles: WOKE UP!
Xander: You could put it that way if you want to, Mr. Technical.

Buffy: Buffy Summers, reporting for sanity.

Cordelia: Oz ate someone last night.
Willow: He did not!
Xander: Oz does not eat people. It's more werewolf play. You know, I bat you around a little bit, like a cat toy. I have harmless, wolf fun. Is it Oz's fault that, you know, side effect, people get cut to ribbons, and maybe then he'll take a little nibble and...I'm not helping, am I?

Xander: We're doing crime here. You don't sneak up during crime.

Buffy: Oh, he definitely... marches to the beat of his own drummer. A-actually, I think he makes his own drums.
Scott: Well, my mom says that therapy can be completely helpful.
Pete: Yeah, but your mom has the wattage of a Zippo lighter, Scott.
Scott: I hope you realize I don't actually know these people. I just... I thought you would like me better if I had friends, so I hired them.

Oz: Time's up. Rules change.

Cordelia: He didn't? Pete was a monster? Where have I been?
Xander: In your special place, Cor, which is why I adore you.

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Homecoming

Xander: You wanna talk fun? Public bus. You meet the funnest people.

Willow: You have to help me pick an outfit. I wanna wear something that makes Oz go, 'Oh.' 

Xander: No problem. I got the tux goin' on. I'm gonna look hot if it even remotely fits.

Xander: Buffy and Faith are in the library getting all sweaty.
Cordelia: They're training.
Xander: I stand by my phrase.

Buffy: I'm not talking about the Slayer. I'm talking about Buffy. You've awakened the Prom Queen within. And that crown is going to be mine.

Mr. Trick: Competition. Competition is a beautiful thing. It makes us strive. It... makes us accomplish. Occasionally, it makes us kill. We all have the desire to win. Whether we're human...vampire...and whatever the hell you are, my brother. You got them spiny-looking head things. I ain't never seen that before.

Mr. Trick: Ladies, gentlemen, spiny-headed looking creatures, welcome to SlayerFest '98!

Xander: Expense to my pride, Will. They're our only relations with money, and they shun us... as they should.

Xander: How do I put this? Are we on first, second, or, uh... ye gods?
Willow: That's none of your business, Alexander Harris.

Oz: As Willow goes, so goes my nation.

Buffy: And I'm sure they're more important than all we've been through together, or... the number of times that I've saved your life.
Willow: What do you want?
Buffy: Fifteen minutes alone on your computer with Cordelia's database.
Willow: 'Kay.

Xander: Okay, let's not say something we'll regret later, okay?
Cordelia: You crazy freak!
Buffy: Vapid whore!
Xander: Like that!

Buffy: You really love Xander?
Cordelia: Well, he kinda grows on you, like... a Chia Pet.

Cordelia: Rip out my innards, play with my eyeballs, boil my brain and eat it for brunch? Listen up, needle-brain. Buffy and I have taken out four of your cronies, not to mention your girlfriend.
Lyle: WIFE!
Cordelia: Whatever. The point is, I haven't even broken a sweat. See, in the end, Buffy's just the runner-up. *I'm* the Queen. You get me mad, what do you think I'm gonna do to you?

Buffy: Long story.
Cordelia: Got hunted.
Buffy: Apparently not that long.

Cordelia: After all that we've been through tonight, this whole who-gets-to-be-queen capade seems pretty...
Buffy: Damn important.
Cordelia: Oh, yeah.

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Band Candy

Buffy: And then I was being chased by an improperly filled in answer bubble screaming "None of the above."
Willow: Wow. I hope that wasn't one of your prophecy dreams.... Probably not.

Willow: Oz is the highest scoring person never to graduate!
Buffy: Isn't she cute when she's proud?
Oz: She's always cute.

Buffy: I'm supervised 24/7. It's like being in the Real World house. Only real.

Willow: Ooh! Candy bars! Lots of 'em!
Xander: Principal Snyder, thank you! You weren't visited by the ghost of Christmas past by any chance?

Angel: It's late. How'd you get away?
Buffy: Aw, it was easy. Started a fire in the prison laundry room. Rode out in the garbage truck.
Angel: Oh.
Buffy: I'm joking. No garbage. Smell me.

Xander: The band. They're great. They march.
Willow: Like an army. Except with music instead of bullets, and usually no one dies.

Oz: They're teenagers. It's a sobering mirror to look into, huh?

Buffy: No vampire has ever been that scary.

Snyder: Whoa, Summers! You drive like a spaz!

Buffy: Giles at sixteen? Less Together Guy, more Bad-Magic-Hates-The-World-Ticking-Time-Bomb Guy.

Oz: Candy curses?
Willow: Disturbing second childhood. Got it.

Cordelia: At first it was fun, you know. They seemed like they were in this really good mood. Not like parents. And then...
Willow: Badness?
Cordelia: Mom started borrowing my clothes. There should be an age limit on Lycra pants. Dad, he just locked himself in the bathroom with old copies of Esquire.

Buffy: So, Ethan, what are we playing? We're pretty much in a talk or bleed situation. Your call.
Giles: Hit him.
Ethan: I'd just like to point out that this wasn't my idea.
Buffy: Meaning?
Ethan: I'm subcontracting. It's Trick you want. I'm just helping him collect a tribute. For a demon.
Giles: He's lying. Go on, hit him.
Buffy: I don't think he is. And shut up.
Giles: You're my Slayer. Go knock his teeth down his throat.

Trick: You and me girl. There's hot times ahead.
Buffy: They never just leave. Always gotta say something.

Willow: 'Kiss rocks'? Why would anyone want to kiss... Oh, wait. I get it.

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Revelations

Cordelia: Excuse me? When your last steady killed half the class, and then your rebound guy sends you a dump-o-gram? It makes a girl shy.
Xander: But we're the best of Buffy's bestest buds. She'd tell us.

Buffy: Synchronized slaying.
Faith: New Olympic category?

Faith: Excuse me, Mary Poppins, but you don't seem to be listening.

Gwendolyn: The fact is, there is talk in the Council that you have become a bit too... American.
Giles: Me?
Buffy: Him?

Giles: That was bracing.
Buffy: Interesting lady. Can we kill her?
Giles: I think the Council might frown upon that.

Xander: Hey, you're not the Watcher of me.

Willow: What does he want from us, anyway?
Xander: The number of a qualified surgeon to remove the British flag from his butt?

Buffy: You can trust some guys. Really, I've read about them.

Buffy: Oh God.
Angel: Buffy.
Buffy: What am I doing? What are you doing?
Angel: I don't know.
Buffy: Shame on you! Oh god.

Buffy: The world's ugliest fashion accessory.

Buffy: So... no touching. Kinda like us.

Buffy: I just wanted to wait...
Xander: For what? For Angel to go psycho again the next time you give him a happy?

Cordelia: What gives you the right to suck face with your demon lover again?
Buffy: It was an accident!
Xander: What, you just tripped and fell on his lips?

Xander: I don't need an excuse. I think lots of dead people actually constitutes a reason.

Gwendolyn: Faith, a word of advice. You're an idiot.

Cordelia: So there's no more glove-thingy?
Xander: Nah, a little living fire, a little mesquite - gone for good.
Oz: Sounds like we missed a lot of fun.
Xander: Then we're telling it wrong.

Willow: Well, he saved me from a horrible flamey death. That sort of makes me like him again.

Xander: Well, as long as she and Angel don't get pelvic, we'll be okay, I guess.

Buffy: How are you?
Faith: 5 by 5.
Buffy: I'll interpret that as good.

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Lover's Walk

Willow: This is a nightmare. This is... My world is spinning.

Xander: It's not that bad, Willow, really.

Willow: 740? Verbal?! I'm-I'm... pathetic! Illiterate! I'm Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel.

Oz: That was my sarcastic voice.

Xander: You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.

Oz: I've been told that.

Oz: I don't think they make a werewolf PEZ. You might have to settle for a wacky cartoon dog.

Buffy: Giles, you pack like me.

Buffy: Yeah. She saw these scores, and her head spun around and exploded.

Giles: I-I've been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical, yes?

Willow: It's a very intimate situation. It's all sexy with the smoke and the sweating and the shoe rental...

Xander: You're turned on by rented shoes?

Willow: That's not the issue.

Joyce: That's not it. It's just you belong at a, a good old-fashioned college with, with keg parties and boys, not here with Hellmouths and vampires. The microwave beeps.

Buffy: Not really seeing the distinction.

Mayor Wilkins: I'm just funning. So, we have a Spike problem, do we?

Allan: He's been spotted back in town. And there was an incident at a magic shop in broad daylight. Police had a hell of a time covering it up.

Mayor Wilkins: Well, yes, y'know, he was up to all sorts of shenanigans last year. We had a world of fun trying to guess what he'd do next.

Allan: I remember.

Buffy: Thanks for the advice. It's another perspective to consider.

Angel: Where are you going? You just got here. It's early.

Buffy: Yeah, well, my mom starts worrying a lot earlier these days. I'll stop by soon.

Xander: Whoa! It smells like church in here. No, wait... Evil church.

Spike: She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared?

Spike: It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care. So, we got to Brazil, and she was... she was just different. I gave her everything: beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would fliiirt! I caught her on a park bench, making out with a chaos demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting. She only did it to hurt me. So I said, 'I'm not putting up with this anymore.' And she said, 'Fine!' And I said, 'Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!' And then she said... she said we could still be friends. God, I'm so unhappy!

Buffy: Yeah, either they were taken, or they ran, or maybe...

Cordelia: You're having too many ors! Pick one!

Spike: No, this is different. Our love was eternal. Literally.

Angel: Spike.
Joyce: Oh, my God. Get out of here!
Spike: Yeah. You're not invited.
Joyce: He's crazy. He'll kill us.
Spike: Not while I breathe. Well, actually, I don't breathe.
Angel: Joyce, listen to me.
Joyce: You get out of this house, or I will stake you myself.
Spike: You're a very bad man.
Angel: Joyce, you can't trust him. Invite me in. You touch her, and I'll cut your head off!
Spike: Yeah? You and what army?
Buffy: That would be me. Angel, why don't you come on in?

Spike: Doesn't work like that, peaches. And when did you become all soul-having again? I thought you outgrew that.

Cordelia: Oh, my God. Is this some sort of residual werewolf thing? This is very disturbing.
Oz: I really agree.

Spike: Oh... My head. I think I'm sobering up. It's horrible. Oh, God. I wish I was dead.

Buffy: Well, if you close your eyes and wish real hard...

Spike: I used to bring her rats. With the morning paper.
Buffy: Great. More moping. That's gonna get her back.
Spike: The spell's gonna get her back.
Angel: Lot of trouble for somebody who doesn't even care about you.
Spike: Shut your gob!
Angel: She really is just kind of fickle.

Spike: What do you know? It's your fault, the both of you! She belongs with me. I'm nothing without her.
Buffy: That I'll have to agree with. You're pathetic, you know that? You're not even a loser anymore, you're a shell of a loser.
Spike: Yeah. You're one to talk.
Buffy: Meaning?
Spike: The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave.
Buffy: I don't know what you're talking about.
Spike: Oh, yeah. You're just friends.
Angel: That's right.
Spike: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood...blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.

Willow: Drusilla broke up with him.
Xander: Gee, and we had all hoped those crazy kids would make it work.

Xander: So what are our options?

Willow: Well, I figure either... I refuse to do the spell and he kills us, or I do the spell and he kills us.

Xander: Give me a third option.

Willow: He's so drunk he forgets about us, and we starve to death. That's sort of the best one.

Spike: This should be a kick.
Buffy: I violently dislike you.

Spike: Oh, yeah. You two. Just friends. No danger there.

Spike: I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded about this. Weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just gotta be the man I was, the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I shoulda done in the first place: I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again.

Spike: Love's a funny thing.

Angel: Hey. I was wondering when you were coming.
Buffy: I'm not coming back. We're not friends. We never were. And I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason. What I want from you I can never have. You don't need me to take care of you anymore. So I'm gonna go.
Angel: I don't accept that.
Buffy: You have to.
Angel: How can...There's gotta be some way we can still see each other.
Buffy: There is: tell me that you don't love me.

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The Wish

Xander: And they burst in, rescuing us, without even knocking? I mean, this is really all their fault.
Buffy: Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.
Xander: Mine is much more advanced.

Willow: Isn't he gonna poof?
Buffy: I guess these guys don't. We'll have to bury him or something. Ohh, makes you appreciate vamps, though. No fuss, no muss.

Willow: At least tomorrow's Monday, another school day.

Buffy: Well, that's good. You know, focus on school. That's the strong Willow way to heal.

Willow: Actually, I was more thinking Oz will be there, and I can beg for forgiveness.

Xander: Excuse me, I need to be both giving and receiving of mirth. Is it too much to ask for a little back-up?
Buffy: I'm here for you, Xand. I'm support-o-gal.

Willow: It's true - Cordelia belongs to the justified camp. She should make us pay. And pay, and pay, and pay... In fact, there's just not enough pay for what...
Xander: Look, you want to do guilt-a-palooza, fine.

Xander: Behold the beauty that is now. Who's with me?
Buffy: Actually, he's making sense. We're young and free in America. How dare we be spun by love, or the lack of same?
Willow: Absolutely. It's self-indulgent. I'm in. I'm on the joy train.
Buffy: That didn't work. Who wants chocolate?

Cordelia: You're right. I just... Well, I bumped my head yesterday, and I keep forgetting stuff. Not that I care, but Xander Harris, he's miserable, right? And that Willow freak he hangs with, not even a blip on the radar screen, right?

Harmony: Well, yeah. They're dead.

Xander: Buffy? The Slayer?

Cordelia: No! Buffy the dog-faced girl! Duh! Who do you think I'm talking about?

Cordelia: What's up with you two and the leather?

Cordelia: No. No! No way! I wish us into Bizarro Land, and you guys are still together?! I cannot win!

Willow: Hmm, Buffy. Ooh, scary.
Xander: Someone has to talk to her people. That name is striking fear in nobody's hearts.

Larry: Okay. The entire world sucks because some dead ditz made a wish? I just, I just want it clear.

Buffy: World is what it is. We fight, we die. Wishing doesn't change that.
Giles: I have to believe in a better world.
Buffy: Go ahead. I have to live in this one.

Giles: Cordelia said she knew that I was meant to be your Watcher. She said she knew you.

Buffy: She's probably just a big fan.

Buffy: I don't play well with others. Now, I'm gonna ask you this once, and then I'm gonna get testy.

Angel: The Master rose. He let me live...to punish me. I kept hoping maybe you'd come. My destiny.
Buffy: Is this a get-in-my-pants thing? You guys in Sunnydale talk like I'm the Second Coming.

Anyanka: You trusting fool! How do you know the other world is any better than this?

Giles: Because it has to be.

back to the top

Amends

Buffy: Vampires probably not that big on Christmas, now that I think about it.
Angel: Not as a rule, no.

Xander: Angel? Weird? What are the odds?

Buffy: No. I don't wanna bug Giles. He's still kinda twitchy when it comes to the subject of Angel.

Xander: Well, it must be that whole Angel-killed-his-girlfriend-and- tortured-him thing. Hey, Giles is pretty petty when it comes to stuff like that.

Buffy: Tree. Nog. Roast beast. Just me and Mom and hopefully an excess of gifts. What are you doing for Christmas?

Willow: Being Jewish. Remember, people? Not everybody worships Santa.

Willow: It's not her fault. Mm, after what happened, we gotta cut her some slack.

Xander: That's the Christmas spirit.

Willow: Hello, still Jewish. Chanukah spirit, I believe that was?

Oz: This is what I do know: I miss you. Like, every second. Almost like I lost an arm, or worse, a torso. So, I think I'd be willing to... give it a shot.

Giles: Hello.
Angel: Um... I'm sorry to bother you.
Giles: Sorry. Coming from you that phrase strikes me as rather funny. 'Sorry to bother me.'
Angel: I need your help.
Giles: And the funny keeps on coming.

Angel: I should be in a demon dimension suffering an eternity of torture.

Giles: I don't feel particularly inclined to argue with that.

Jenny: Trouble sleeping?
Angel: You're not here.
Jenny: I'm always here.
Angel: Leave me alone.
Jenny: I can't. You won't let me.
Angel: What do you want?
Jenny: I wanna die in bed surrounded by fat grandchildren, but guess that's off the menu.
Angel: I'm sorry.
Jenny: You're sorry? For me? Don't bother. I'm dead. I'm over it. If you wanna feel sorry for someone, you should feel sorry for yourself. Oh, but I guess you've already got that covered.
Angel: I am sorry... for what I've done. What else can I say to you?

Xander: Look, I'm aware I haven't been the mostest best friend to you when it comes to the whole Angel thing, and, um, I don't know, maybe I finally got the Chanukah spirit.

Angel: A demon isn't a man. I was a man once.
Jenny: Oh, yes, and what a man you were.

Jenny: You want her?
Angel: No.
Jenny: Take her. Take what you want. Pour all that frustration and all that guilt into her, and you'll be free.
Angel: No.
Jenny: You can't live for eternity with all that pain. This is what you are. This is why we brought you back. Take her! And then you'll be ready... to kill her.

Willy: Well... I heard a few things, you know, from the underground.

Xander: The underground?

Willy: Yeah, you know. From things that live under the ground.

Buffy: Sure, in a town with fourteen million square miles of sewer.

Xander: Plus a lot of natural cave formations and a gateway to Hell.

Oz: You ever have that dream where you're in a play, and it's the middle of the play and you really don't know your lines, and you kinda don't know the plot?

Buffy: Nothing like a roaring fire to keep away the blistering heat

Jenny: Couldn't you just... feel her? Couldn't you almost smell her skin? You never were a fighter, Angel, don't start trying now. Sooner or later you will drink her.
Angel: I'll never hurt her.
Jenny: You were born to hurt her. Have you learned nothing? As long as you are alive...
Angel: Then I'll die.
Jenny: You don't have the strength to kill yourself.
Angel: I don't need strength. I just need the sun to rise.

Jenny/The First: Hmm. You think you can fight me? I'm not a demon, little girl. I am something that you can't even conceive. The First Evil. Beyond sin, beyond death. I am the thing the darkness fears. You'll never see me, but I am everywhere. Every being, every thought, every drop of hate....

Buffy: Alright, I get it. You're evil. Do we have to chat about it all day?

Jenny/The First: You have no idea what you're dealing with.

Buffy: Lemme guess. Is it... evil?

Angel: I bet half the kids down there are already awake. Lying in their beds... sneaking downstairs... waiting for day.
Buffy: Angel, please. I need for you to get inside. Th-there's only a few minutes left.
Angel: I know. I can smell the sunrise long before it comes.
Buffy: I don't have time to explain this. You just have to trust me. That thing that was haunting you...
Angel: It wasn't haunting me. It was showing me.
Buffy: Showing you?
Angel: What I am.
Buffy: Were.
Angel: And ever shall be. I wanted to know why I was back. Now I do.
Buffy: You don't know. Some great evil takes credit for bringing you back and you buy it? You just give up?
Angel: I can't do it again, Buffy. I can't become a killer.
Buffy: Then fight it.
Angel: It's too hard.
Buffy: Angel, please, you have to get inside.
Angel: It told me to kill you. You were in the dream. You know. It told me to lose my soul in you and become a monster again.
Buffy: I know what it told you. What does it matter?
Angel: Because I wanted to! Because I want you so badly! I want to take comfort in you, and I know it'll cost me my soul, and a part of me doesn't care.

Angel: Look, I'm weak. I've never been anything else. It's not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It's the man.
Buffy: You're weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. Maybe this evil did bring you back, but if it did, it's because it needs you. And that means that you can hurt it. Angel, you have the power to do real good, to make amends. But if you die now, then all that you ever were was a monster. Angel, please, the sun is coming up!
Angel: Just go.
Buffy: I won't!
Angel: What, do you think this is simple? You think there's an easy answer? You can never understand what I've done! Now go!
Buffy: You are not staying here. I won't let you!
Angel: I said LEAVE!

Angel: Am I a thing worth saving, huh? Am I a righteous man? The world wants me gone!
Buffy: What about me? I love you so much... And I tried to make you go away... I killed you and it didn't help. And I hate it! I hate that it's so hard... and that you can hurt me so much. I know everything that you did, because you did it to me. Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. I can't.
Angel: Buffy, please. Just this once... let me be strong.
Buffy: Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together. But if you're too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can. But do not expect me to watch. And don't expect me to mourn for you, because...

Weatherman: Sunnydale residents shouldn't expect to see the sun at all today. That cold front isn't going anywhere. With temperatures in the high 30s, means you better bundle up if you're planning to go outside and enjoy the change in the weather.

back to the top

Gingerbread

Buffy: Someone with a soul did this?
Giles: Yes, I'm afraid so.
Buffy: Okay. then while you're looking for the meaning of that symbol thingy, could you also find a loophole in that "Slayers don't kill people" rule?

Oz: I haven't seen you all day. Where you been?
Xander: Not with me. No sir. Ask anyone. No.

Xander: Why was your mom there?
Buffy: More bad. She picked last night, of all nights, for a surprise bonding visit.
Willow: God, your mom would actually take the time to do that with you? That really wasn't the point of the story, was it?

Willow: Makes me grateful that my mom's not interested in my extra-curricular activities...Or my curricular activities.

Buffy: No. It's just... This hall is about school, and you're about home. Mix them, my world dissolves.

Sheila Willow, you cut off your hair. That's a new look.
Willow: Yeah, it's just a sudden whim I had--in August.

Buffy: Is Willow around?
Xander: How can I convince you people that it's over? You assume because I'm here, she's here, that I somehow mysteriously know where she is.
Buffy: Those her books?
Xander: Yeah, she's in the bathroom.

Xander: I'm getting sick of the judgment. The innuendoes. Is a man not innocent until proven guilty?
Buffy: You are guilty. You got illicit smoochies, gonna have to pay the price.
Xander: But I'm talking about the future guilt. Look, everyone expects me to mess up again. Like Oz. I see how he is around me. You know, that steely gaze... that pointed silence.
Buffy: 'Cause he's usually such a chatterbox.
Xander: No, but it's different now. It's more a verbal nonverbal. He speaks volumes with his eyes.

Buffy: What is this?
Willow: A doodle. I do doodle. You too. You do doodle, too.

Xander: Aw, man, it's Nazi Germany, and I've got Playboys in my locker!

Giles: They're confiscating my books.
Buffy: Giles, we need those books.
Giles: Believe me, I tried to tell that to the nice man with the big gun.

Giles: Ordinarily, I would say let's widen our research.
Buffy: Using what? A dictionary and 'My Friend Flicka'?

Snyder: Just remember, lift a finger against me, and you'll have to answer to MOO.
Buffy: Answer to Moo? Did that sentence just make some sense that I'm not in on?
Snyder: Mothers Opposed to the Occult. A powerful new group.
Buffy: And who came up with that lame name?
Snyder: That would be the founder. I believe you call her Mom.

Willow: Mom, I'm not an age group. I'm me. Willow group.

Angel: I heard about this. People are talking. People are even talking to me.

Buffy: My mom said some things to me about being the Slayer. That it's fruitless. No fruit for Buffy.
Angel: She's wrong.
Buffy: Is she? Is Sunnydale any better than when I first came here? Okay, so I battle evil. But I don't really win. The bad keeps coming back and getting stronger. Like that kid in the story, the boy that stuck his finger in the duck.
Angel: Dike. It's another word for dam.
Buffy: Oh. Okay, that story makes a lot more sense now.

Xander: "Frisky Watchers Chat Room." Why, Giles!

Buffy: We need to get some information.
Giles: Yeah, well somebody else do it, this thing's locked me out.
Xander: Well, if you wouldn't yell at it...

Giles: There is a fringe theory, held by a few folklorists, that some regional stories have actual, very literal antecedents.
Buffy: And in some language that's English?
Oz: Fairy tales are real?

Xander: Wait, Hansel and Gretel? Breadcrumbs, ovens, gingerbread house?
Giles: Of course. It makes perfect sense.
Buffy: Yeah, it's all falling into place. Of course that place is nowhere near this place.

Xander: I don't know about you, but I'm gonna go trade my cow for some beans. No one else is seeing the funny here.

Buffy: What happened?
Michael: I was attacked.
Xander: Officially not funny.

Cordelia: Wake up!
Giles: Cordelia?
Cordelia: Took you long enough to wake up. My hand hurts.
Giles: Pity.

Cordelia: I came over here to tell Buffy to stop this craziness and found you all unconscious... again. How many times have you been knocked out, anyway? I swear, one of these times, you're gonna wake up in a coma.

Xander: No, really. Why should you guys have all the fun? We wanna be part of the hate.
Oz: Just so we're clear, you guys know you're nuts, right?

Buffy: Mom, dead people are talking to you. Do the math.

back to the top

Helpless

Angel: Um, am I gonna see you this weekend? You, uh, you-you probably have plans.
Buffy: Right, birthday. Um, actually, I, I do have a thing.
Angel: Oh, a thing. A date?
Buffy: Nice attempt at casual. Actually, I do have a date. Older man. Very handsome. He likes it when I call him 'Daddy'.
Angel: Huh, your father. It is your father, right?
Buffy: He's taking me to the ice show. Which should be big fun.

Buffy: I hate being the good one.

Buffy: Wow, that was really funny-looking! Could you do it again?
Vampire: I'll kill you for that.
Buffy: For that? What were you trying to kill me for before?

Buffy: I'm way off my game. My game's left the country. It's in Cuernavaca.

Oz: It's not so girlie. Ice is cool! It's water, but it's not.

Xander: We're still talking party, right? I mean, some of us still love to relish celebrating in the birth of the Buff.
Buffy: I dunno. I think it might be time to put a moratorium on parties in my honor. They tend to go badly. Monsters crash. People die.

Buffy: I think I'll choose to celebrate this one with quiet reflection.

Xander: Where is it written that quiet reflection can't be combined with cake and funny hats?

Buffy: I-if someone were free, they'd take their daughters or their student... or their Slayer.

Buffy: Okay, I just got swatted down by some no-neck and rescued by Cordelia. What the hell is happening?

Angel: You really like it?
Buffy: Of course I do. It's sweet and thoughtful and...full of neat words to learn and say like 'wilt' and 'henceforth'.
Angel: Then why'd you seem more excited last year when you got a severed arm in a box?

Buffy: Angel, what if I have lost my power?
Angel: You lived a long time without it. You can do it again.
Buffy: I guess. But what if I can't? I've seen too much. I know what goes bump in the night. Not being able to fight it... What if I just hide under my bed, all scared and helpless? Or what if I just become pathetic? Hanging out at the old Slayer's home, talking people's ears off about my glory days, showing them Mr. Pointy, the stake I had bronzed.
Angel: Buffy, you could never be helpless or boring, not even if you tried.

Angel: I saw you before you became the Slayer.
Buffy: What?
Angel: I watched you, and I saw you called. It was a bright afternoon out in front of your school. You walked down the steps... and...and I loved you.
Buffy: Why?
Angel: 'Cause I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see. And I worried that it would be bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life I wanted to keep it safe... to warm it with my own.
Buffy: That's beautiful. Or taken literally, incredibly gross.
Angel: I was just thinking that, too.

Buffy: Hummers. Big turnoff. I like guys that can remember the lyrics.

Buffy: You?
Giles: It's a test, Buffy. It's given to the Slayer once she...uh, well, if she reaches her eighteenth birthday. The Slayer is disabled and then entrapped with a vampire foe whom she must defeat in order to pass the test. The vampire you were to face... has escaped. His name is Zackary Kralik. As a mortal, he murdered and tortured more than a dozen women before he was committed to an asylum for the criminally insane. When a vamp...
Buffy: You bastard. All this time, you saw what it was doing to me. All this time, and you didn't say a word!
Giles: I wanted to.
Buffy: Liar.
Giles: In matters of tradition and protocol, I must answer to the Council. My role in this... was very specific. I was to administer the injections and to direct you to the old boardinghouse on Prescott Lane.
Buffy: I can't... I can't hear this.
Giles: Buffy, please.
Buffy: Who are you? How could you do this to me?
Giles: I am deeply sorry, Buffy, and you have to understand...
Buffy: If you touch me, I'll kill you.
Giles: You have to listen to me. Because I've told you this, the test is invalidated. You will be safe now, I promise you. Now, whatever I have to do to deal with Kralik... and to win back your trust...
Buffy: You stuck a needle in me. You poisoned me!
Cordelia: What's going on? Oh, God. Is the world ending? I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow, but if the world's ending, I'm not gonna bother.
Giles: You can't walk home alone, Buffy. It isn't safe.
Buffy: I don't know you.
Cordelia: Did something take her memory? He's Giles. Giiillles. He hangs out here a lot.
Buffy: Cordelia, could you please drive me home?
Cordelia: Of course. But if the world doesn't end, I'm gonna need a note.

Giles: Yes. Interestingly, I don't give a rat's ass about the Council's orders. There will be no test.

Buffy: If I was at full Slayer power, I'd be punning right about now.

Quentin: Your affection for your charge has rendered you incapable of clear and impartial judgment. You have a father's love for the child, and that is useless to the cause.

Quentin: Congratulations again.
Buffy: Bite me.
Quentin: Yes, well, colorful girl.

Willow: Now, now when you say 'fired', do you mean 'fired'?
Xander: You're not cruising past that concept any time soon, are you?
Willow: Well, it's just... I mean, he's been fired! He's, he's unemployed! He's... between jobs.
Buffy: Giles isn't going anywhere, Will. He's still librarian.
Willow: Okay, but I'm writing an angry letter.
Buffy: You know, nothing's really gonna change. The important thing is that I kept up my special birthday tradition of gut-wrenching misery and horror.
Oz: Bright side to everything.

back to the top

The Zeppo

Buffy: Willow, you okay?
Willow: Yeah, I'm fine. The shaking is a side effect of the fear.

Buffy: If it weren't for that clouding spell...
Willow: Yeah, it went good. Nothing melted like last time.

Buffy: Or both. And, you know, with the pain and the death, maybe you shouldn't be leaping into the fray like that. Maybe you should be... fray-adjacent.
Xander: Excuse me? Who, at a crucial moment, distracted the lead demon by allowing her to pummel him about the head?
Faith: Yeah, that was real manly how you shrieked and all.
Xander: I think you'll find that was more of a bellow.

Buffy: Should we burn them?
Willow: I brought marshmallows! ... Occasionally, I'm callous and strange.

Xander: But gee, Mr. White, if Clark and Lois get all the good stories, I'll never be a good reporter.
Giles: Hmm?
Xander: Jimmy Olsen jokes are pretty much gonna be lost on you, huh?
Giles: Sorry.

Jack: What are you, retarded?
Xander: No. No, I had to take that test when I was seven. A little slow in some stuff, mostly math and spatial relations, but certainly not challenged or anything.

Xander: Why is it that I've come face-to-face with vampires, demons, the most hideous creatures hell ever spit out, and I'm still afraid of a little bully like Jack O'Toole?
Cordelia: Because, unlike all those other creatures that you've come face-to-face with, Jack actually noticed you were there.
Xander: Why am I surprised by how comforting you're not?

Xander: You're in a band. That's like a business-class ticket to cool with complimentary mojo after take-off. I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar?
Oz: Not the way I play it.

Xander: What do I have?

Oz: An exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special.

Xander: Now with the mocking.

Buffy: Do you remember the demon that almost got out the night I died?
Willow: Every nightmare I had that doesn't revolve around academic failure or public nudity is about that thing. In fact, once I dreamt that it attacked me while I was late for a test, and naked.

Xander: What do you mean, what is it? It's my *thing*.
Willow: Your thing?
Xander: My thing!
Buffy: Is this a penis metaphor?
Xander: It's my thing that makes me cool. You know, that makes me unique. I'm Car Guy. Guy with the car.

Xander: Like a dream about warm, sticky things.

Xander: Angel! Buddy! Friend-buddy. You want to sit and talk?

Xander: You know, it's not like I haven't helped before. I've done some quality violence for these people.

Buffy: 'Sisterhood of Jhe. Race of female demons, fierce warriors...' Eww. '...celebrate victory in battle by eating their foes.' They couldn't just pour Gatorade on each other?

Xander: Yeah, great knife. Although I think it may technically be a sword.
Jack: She's called Katie.
Xander: You gave it a girl's name. How very serial killer of you.

Xander: No. Just blowing off steam. Two guys rasslin'. But not in a gay way.

Jack: I like you.
Xander: Yay?

Bob: Whoa! Walker, Texas Ranger. You been taping 'em?

Jack: Every ep.

Willy: If I were you... I'd go find Angel... go somewhere quiet together. I'd be thinking about how I wanna spend my last night on Earth.

Xander: Did I mention that I'm having a very strange night?

Xander: Long gone. Probably loaded with supplies. Gotta think. I can't believe I had sex. Okay, bombs. Already dead guys with bombs.

Buffy: I don't know what to do.
Angel: Then let me decide for you. I can face this thing.
Buffy: You can't.
Angel: Look, I, I can at least buy you enough time for Willow's spell to bind it. Buffy, this is worse than anything we've ever faced. It's the only way.
Buffy: I can't watch you die again.
Angel: I love you.
Buffy: I love you.
Angel: Nothing can change that. Not even death.

Xander: Less than two minutes. Dumb guy. Little bomb. How hard can it be?

Jack: I'm gonna carve you up and serve you with gravy. You piss me off, boy. Now you pay the price. First the eyes, then the tongue. I'm gonna break every one of your fingers.

Xander: You gonna do all that in forty-nine seconds?

back to the top

Bad Girls

Mayor Wilkins: I, I just love the Family Circus! That P.J., he's getting to be quite a handful.

Xander: Harvard... Yale... Wesleyan... Some German Polytechnical Institute whose name I, uh... I can't pronounce. Is anyone else intimidated? 'Cause I'm just expecting thin slips of paper with the words 'No Way' written in crayon.
Oz: They're typing those now.

Willow: I'm so overwhelmed! I-I got in! To actual colleges! And, a-and they're wooing me! They're pitching woo!

Willow: Rejection I can handle 'cause of the years of training, but this...
Xander: I feel your pain, Will. Like right now, I'm torn between the fast-growing of appliance repair and motel management. Of course, I'm still waiting to hear back from the corndog emporium, so...

Xander: The comedy stylings of Miss Cordelia Chase, everyone. Who, uh, incidentally, won't be needing a higher education when she markets her own very successful line of hooker wear.

Wesley: I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself. Under controlled circumstances, of course.
Giles: No danger of finding those here.
Wesley: Vampires?
Giles: Controlled circumstances.

Buffy: Is he evil?
Wesley: Evil?
Buffy: The last one was evil.

Buffy: Is he evil?
Giles: Not in the strictest sense.

Wesley: Why don't you tell me everything about last night's patrol.
Buffy: Vampires.
Wesley: Yes?
Buffy: Killed 'em.

Wesley: Buffy, you will go to the Gleave's family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet.
Buffy: I will?
Wesley: Are you not used to being given orders?
Buffy: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says "please." And afterwards I get a cookie.

Faith: New Watcher?

Buffy and Giles: New Watcher.

Faith: Screw that.

Buffy: Now, why didn't *I* just say that?

Wesley: These are all the diaries then, yours included?
Giles: That's everything. Knock yourself out. Please?

Buffy: I hate it when they drown me.

Wesley: Remember the three key words for any Slayer: preparation... preparation... preparation.

Buffy: That's one word three times.

Buffy: How come your eye twitches every time I say Faith's name?

Xander: What? No, it doesn't.

Buffy: Faith.

Xander: Cut it out!

Wesley: There you are.
Buffy: Ah. Speak of the really annoying person.

Buffy: Okay, we got ten, maybe twelve bad guys, and one big demon in desperate need of a stairmaster.

Mr. Trick: Why do they always gotta be using swords? It's called a Uzi, ya chump. Could have saved your ass right about now.

Willow: Give me time, and I may be the first Wiccan to do all my conjuring in pine-fresh scent.

Wesley: Stay calm, Mr. Giles. We have to stay calm.

Giles: Well, thank God you're here. I was planning to panic.

Wesley: What is that thing?
Giles: That would be your demon. You know, the dead one?
Wesley: There's no need to get snippy.

Giles: If it's for me to scrub those hard-to-reach areas, I'd like to request you kill me now.

Balthazar: THE MAN WHO HAS MY AMULET! WHAT IS HIS NAAAME?!
Angel: His name is Angel.

back to the top

Consequences

Cordelia: Check out Giles: The Next Generation. What's your deal?

Wesley: My. She is cheeky, isn't she?
Faith: Uh, first word: jail; second word: bait.

Mayor Wilkins: Well, this is exciting. A Slayer up for Murder One. That's sunshine and roses to me. It really is.

Buffy: You mean, like that intervention thing that you guys did on me? As I recall, Xander and I nearly came to blows.

Xander: Uh, you nearly came to blows, Buffy. I nearly came to loss of limbs.

Willow: I don't need to say 'oh'. I got it before. They slept together.

Angel: I'm sorry about the chains. It's not that I don't trust you... Actually, it is that I don't trust you.

Angel: It's like talking to a wall. Only you get more from a wall.

Angel: I know what's goin' on with you.
Faith: Join the club. Everybody seems to have a theory.
Angel: Hmm. But I know what it's like to take a life. To feel a future, a world of possibilities, snuffed out by your own hand. I know the power in it. The exhilaration. It was like a drug for me.
Faith: Yeah? Sounds like you need some help. A professional maybe.
Angel: Hmm. A professional couldn't have helped me. It stopped when I got my soul back. My human heart.
Faith: Goody for you. If we're gonna party, let's get on with it. Otherwise, could you let me out of these things?
Angel: Faith, you have a choice. You've tasted something few ever do. I mean, to kill without remorse is to feel like a god.
Faith: Right now, all I feel is a cramp in my wrist, so let me go!
Angel: But you're not a god. You're not much more than a child. Going down this path will ruin you. You can't imagine the price for true evil.
Faith: Yeah? I hope evil takes MasterCard.

Angel: You and me, Faith, we're a lot alike. Time was, I thought humans existed just to hurt each other. But then I came here. And I found out that there are other types of people. People who genuinely wanted to do right. And they make mistakes. And they fall down. You know, but they keep caring. Keep trying. If you can trust us, Faith, this can all change. You don't have to disappear into the darkness.

Willow: Can I... I-I'm just wondering. Why? I'm not the most objective, I know. I kind of have an issue with Faith sharing my people.

Wesley: What can I do? I want to help.
Buffy: You still got your ticket back to the mother country?

back to the top

Dopplegangland

Buffy: The Watchers Council shrink is heavy into tests. He's got tests for everything. T.A.T.s, Rorschach, associative logic...He even has that test to see if you're crazy that asks if you ever hear voices or you ever wanted to be a florist.
Willow: Ooo, I used to want...Wait. Florist means crazy, right? I never wanted to do that.

Willow: You think I'm boring.
Oz: I'd call that a radical interpretation of the text.

Willow: No, it's fine. I'm 'Old Reliable'.
Xander: She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals.
Willow: That's Old Faithful.
Xander: Isn't that the dog that, that the guy had to shoot...
Willow: That's Old Yeller.
Buffy: Xander, I beg you not to help me.

Willow: Yeah, that's me. Reliable-Dog-Geyser Person.

Willow: That, that-that wasn't just some temporal fold, that was some weird Hell place. I-I don't think you're telling me everything.
Anya: I swear, I am just trying to find my necklace.
Willow: Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in Hell?
Anya: Look, we'll just try it again, and...
Willow: No! I-I think emphatically not!

Xander: Will, changing the look not an idle threat with you.

Xander: Uh... Will, this is verging on naughty touching here. Don't wanna fall back on bad habits. Hands! Hands in new places!

Buffy: Aren't you gonna introduce me to your...Holy *God*, you're Willow.

Giles: She was truly the finest of all of us.
Xander: Way better than me.
Giles: Much, much better.

Buffy: Willow, you're alive?
Willow: Aren't I usually?

Willow: Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?

Giles: Well, uh... something... something, um, very strange is happening.
Xander: Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?

Anya: What a day. Gimme a beer.
Bartender: I.D....I.D.
Anya: I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old! Just gimme a frickin' beer!
Bartender: I.D.
Anya: Gimme a Coke.

Devon: Man, we need a roadie. Other bands have roadies.
Oz: Well, other bands know more than three chords. Your professional bands can play up to six, sometimes seven completely different chords.
Devon: That's just, like, fruity jazz bands.

Angel: Why don't I believe him?
Oz: Well, he lacks credibility.

Oz: Can you get outta here?
Angel: Skylight in the roof. I can make it.
Oz: I think we need some backup.
Angel: I think I'm needed here.
Oz: Ten to one. Could get pointless.

Willow: Oh, right. Me and Oz play 'Mistress of Pain' every night.
Xander: Did anyone else just go to a scary visual place?
Buffy: Oh, yeah.

Angel: Willow's dead...Hey, Willow...Wait a second.
Xander: We're right there with you, buddy.

Buffy: Should we call Faith?
Giles: No, I don't want her in combat yet. Not around civilians.
Xander: Hear, hear.

Evil Willow: Well, look at me. I'm all fuzzy.

Willow: It's horrible! That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and... skanky. And I think I'm kinda gay.
Buffy: Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was.
Angel: Well, actually... That's a good point.

Anya: Vampires. Always thinking with your teeth.

Xander: So, um, in your reality, I'm like this bad-ass vampire, huh? People afraid of me? Oh, yeah. I'm bad.

back to the top

Enemies

Buffy: So, feel like getting some hot chocolate...or some cold shower?
Angel: I'm sorry. I wanted to take you somewhere fun. It's been a long time since I've been to the movies. They've changed.

Buffy: I'm sorry. I just don't like getting you worked up like that. We can't actually do any of those things. You'd lose your soul and besides, I don't even own a kimono.
Angel: Buffy, you don't have to worry about me.
Buffy: I just don't like to rub your nose in it. Suddenly wondering where that expression comes from.
Angel: I don't need to see movies to get worked up. Just being around you does that just fine. It doesn't mean that I'm gonna lose control or I'm gonna be frustrated around you. It feels nice, just to feel.
Buffy: It doesn't drive you crazy... when we're close?
Angel: Watch this.

Demon: Oww! What, are you nuts? Going around punching people?
Buffy: People?
Demon: So what, I'm a demon. That makes it okay? Hold it, woah!

Giles: Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.

Angel: Woah... Faith. I can be here for you, but not like that, alright? I'm with Buffy.
Faith: Buffy... yeah. I didn't mean it like that. Maybe I did, but I wouldn't press it. You love her, don't you?
Angel: I love her.

Xander: Found your demon.
Buffy: Fashion tip Wes, mouth looks better closed.
Xander: Got the address. I beat it out of Willy the snitch personally.
Buffy: You beat up Willy?
Xander: Sure. Well actually, let's just say I applied some pressure. Or more accurately, I asked politely and then... okay, I bribed him.
Buffy: How much?
Xander: 28 bucks. Does the council reimburse for that kind of stuff?
Giles: Did you get a receipt?
Xander: Damn.

Buffy: I know this, that's down by the bus station. Not the nicest part of town.
Giles: Again, see. No standards. Any self respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth or nice crypt.
Buffy: I'll remember to mention that.

Buffy: You're right, Faith would never do that.
Willow: Faith would totally do that. Faith was built to do that. She's the do-that-girl.
Buffy: Comfort, remember? Comfort here?
Willow: Please, does Angel come up to Faith's standards for a guy? Let's see, is he breathing?
Buffy: Actually, no.
Willow: Buffy... Angel. There's no way he would ever do that. You're the only thing in the world to him.

Xander: And on the day the words flimsy excuse were redefined, we stood in awe and watched.

Xander: Hidden? Are there any engravings I should know about? Frolicking nymphs of some kind?

Angel: Let me guess, you summoned back the true Angelus because you need a new boy toy.

Angel: It's good to be back in Sunnydale. Nice climate, plenty to eat, no tortured humanity to hold me down.

Angel: Thanks... so much. It's good to have the taste of a Slayer back in my mouth. It's like cigarettes, you know? Just when I thought I'd quit. No, really, don't get up.

Faith: You want to listen or you wanna die?
Angel: As long as you're there, I mostly want you to wriggle.

Mayor: Angelus, may I call you Angel?
Angel: Well, I'm thinking more along the lines of you calling me master.
Mayor: Ahh. You know Angelus, attitude may get you attention, but courtesy wins respect.

Angel: Hi Joyce. Nice to see you. Is Buffy home?
Joyce: Upstairs. Please tell me it's not some vampire thing.
Angel: The only vampire here is me Joyce. Say, did you change your hair?
Joyce: Highlights.
Angel: It's nice.

Angel: You know, I never properly thanked you for sending me to hell.
Buffy: No.
Angel: Yeah, and I'm just wondering where do I start. Card? Fruit basket? Evisceration?
Buffy: No.
Angel: I know what you're thinking. Maybe there's some good deep down inside of me that remembers and loves you, if only you could reach me. But then again, we have reality.

Angel: One thing I learned about Buffy, she's so cute when she's sleeping.

Angel: You know what I just can't believe, all of our time together and we never tried chains.

Buffy: I never knew you had so much rage in you.
Faith: What can I say, I'm the world's best actor.
Angel: Second best.
Buffy: Graduation day. You think we missed anything?
Angel: I think we know everything she knows.
Buffy: May I say something? Psych.

Willow: Graduation day. There's a big scary unfun.

Xander: Yes. I feel so much better knowing that he broke my face in a good way. It's a good bruise.

Angel: How you doing?
Buffy: Been better.
Angel: Not hard to believe. You were a real soldier last night, Buffy.
Buffy: That's me, one of the troops.
Angel: I know how hard it was for you.
Buffy: I really doubt that.
Angel: If there's anything I can do to make it better...
Buffy: Look, I know you only did what I asked, and we got what we wanted.
Angel: I never wanted it to go that far.
Buffy: I know that. It's not even a question of that. It's just... after... I need a little bit of a break. Please?
Angel: You still my girl?
Buffy: Always.

back to the top

Earshot

Buffy: No mouth means no teeth...unless they have them somewhere else.

Giles: I was just filling Buffy in on my progress regarding the research of Ascension.
Wesley: Oh. And what took up the rest of the minute?
Giles: Touché.

Buffy: A part of the demon. Hope it’s not the outside part.

Willow: The school paper is edging on depressing lately. Have you guys noticed that?
Oz: I don’t know. I usually go straight to the obits.

Willow: What are you doing Buffy?
Buffy: Nothing...checking for horns.

Buffy: It could be claws, or scales or...what?
Willow: Was it a boy demon?

Xander: They really are very good.
Oz: Their spellings improved.

Xander: You know Oz, I look at all this beauty, all these healthy young women and I wonder why I wasted my time on Cordelia. I mean, look at her. She’s no better lookin’ than the rest of them.
Oz: None of them are really mine...
Xander: Oh my God! He’s lookin’ at her. He’s got his filthy adult Pierce Brosnany eyes all over my Cordy.
Oz: You’re a very complex man, aren’t you.

Angel: Hey. I won’t let anything happen to you if I can help it. No matter what, I’ll always be with you. Hey, I’ll love you, even if you’re covered with slime.
Buffy: I liked everything until that part.

Oz: It was intense.
Xander: Yeah, for a minute there I thought you were gonna make an expression.
Oz: Well, I felt one coming on, I won’t lie.

Xander: You have no shame.
Cordelia: Oh please, like shame is something to be proud of.

Cordelia: I still have knee marks on my back...[get some looks] from the pyramid.

Buffy: Is this the thing? The aspect thing? Because I gotta say, if it is, it’s way better than a tail. I mean, I have a hard enough time finding jeans that fit right.

Buffy: And the boys of this school are seriously disturbed.

Buffy: Ooh, sorry. Sorry about the daytime. I just ducked out of school and that’s when they have it.

Angel: You can’t get into my mind.
Buffy: How did you---why not?
Angel: It’s like the mirror. The thoughts are there, but they create no reflection in you.

Angel: You don’t have to play games with me Buffy. Ever.
Buffy: Well, you’re not exactly Joe-Here’s-What-I’m-Thinking.
Angel: So ask me.
Buffy: Oh, but that would have made sense.
Angel: What do you want to know about? Faith? How I felt kissing her? Pretending to have no soul? Watching you suffer?
Buffy: Well, since you bring it up.
Angel: I hated hurting you. More than I could stand.

Angel: Kissing her meant nothing. I don’t want a bad girl. I’ve done that before. I’ve lived a long time Buffy, and I’m past that. I’ve been with dozens of girls like that, more.
Buffy: Oh this honesty stuff is fun.
Angel: There’s no comparison. In 243 years I’ve loved exactly 1 person.
Buffy: Oh. It is me right?

Angel: Be careful with this gift. A lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful.
Buffy: Like say, immortality?
Angel: Exactly, I’m dying to get rid of that.
Buffy: Funny.
Angel: I’m a funny guy.

Oz: I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me and she becomes me. I cease to exist. Huh.

Xander: What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time. Sex. Help. 4 times 5 is 30. 5 times 6 is 32. Naked women. Naked girls. Naked Buffy. Oh stop me.
Buffy: God Xander! Is that all you think about?
Xander: Actually...bye!

Oz: No one else exists either. Buffy is all of us. We think. Therefore she is.

Oz: I’m gonna follow the redhead.

Xander: See, I’ve been saying for years that the lunch lady is going to do us all in with that Mulligan Stew. I mean, what the hell is a Mulligan?

Xander: Yeah, I mean who hasn’t idly thought of taking out the place with a semi-automatic...I said idly.

Xander: I’m still having trouble with the that one of us is just going to gun everybody down for no reason.
Cordelia: Yeah, because that never happens in American high schools.
Oz: It’s bordering on trendy at this point.

Buffy: You had sex with Giles! You had sex with Giles!
Joyce: It was the candy. We were teenagers.
Buffy: On the hood of a police car!?
Joyce: I’ll be downstairs. You feel better.
Buffy: Twice!

Willow: Talk to everyone on your list. And…use the sample questions...today people!

Cordelia: Hi Mr. Beach. I was just wondering, were you planning on killing a bunch of people tomorrow. Oh, it’s for the yearbook.

Larry: Man, I’m out. I’m so out I’ve got my grandma fixing me up with guys.

Oz: Dingoes Ate My Baby played their instruments as if they had plump polish sausages taped to their fingers.
Freddy: Sorry man.
Oz: No, it’s fair.

Willow: Jonathon. Ugh, I had him in my grasp. Slippery weasel.

Jonathon: Stop saying my name like we’re friends. We’re not friends. You all think I’m an idiot. A short idiot.

Buffy: You know what, I was wrong. You are an idiot. My life happens to, on occasion, suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle.

Buffy: It looks quiet down there. It’s not. It’s deafening.

Willow: So, you feelin’ better about Angel?
Buffy: Well, we talked, and then he ripped out the heart of a demon and fed it to me and then we talked some more.
Willow: See, that’s how it should work.

Buffy: Well, it’s nice to help someone in a non-slaying capacity. Except, he’s starting to get that look you know, like he’s gonna ask me to Prom.
Giles: Well, it’d probably be good for his self-esteem if you…
Buffy: What am I, Saint Buffy?

Giles: Feel up to some training?
Buffy: Sure, we could work-out after school, you know, if you’re not too busy having sex with my mother!
[Giles walks into a tree.]

Buffy: Sorry, honey.
Angel: That's okay.

Buffy: Do you get the feeling that we're kind of in a rut?
Angel: Rut?
Buffy: You never take me anyplace new.
Angel: What about that fire-demon nest in the cave by the beach? Thought that was a nice change of pace.
Buffy: So this is our future? I mean, this is how we're gonna spend our nights when I'm 50 and you're... the same age you are now?
Angel: Let's just get you to 50.
Buffy: Liking that plan.

Buffy: I just can't decide on a school right now. I mean... I want to sleep on it, you know, mull it over. Raise 'em up my inner flagpole, see which one I salute.

Snyder: Okay, what's in the bag?
Student: My lunch.
Snyder: Is that the new drug lingo?
Student: No, it's my lunch.
Snyder: Sit up straight.

Buffy: Faith's turn to the dark side of the Force pretty much put the proverbial kibosh on any away plans for me.

Buffy: You, I can't believe you got into Oxford.
Willow: It's pretty exciting.
Oz: That's some deep academia there.
Buffy: There's where they make Gileses.
Willow: I know. I can learn and have scones.

Xander: Kerouac. He's my teacher. The open road, my school.
Buffy: Making the open dumpster your cafeteria?
Xander: Go ahead, mock me.
Oz: I think she just did.
Xander: We bohemian, anti-establishment types have always been persecuted.
Oz: Well, sure, you're all so weird.

Xander: I can't help it. It's my nature.
Willow: Maybe you need a better nature.

Wesley: I don't understand.
Buffy: Well, I don't think I can talk any slower, Wes.

Wesley: But you're a Slayer.
Buffy: Yeah, I'm also a person. You can't just define me by my Slayerness. That's... something-ism.

Wesley: All right, everyone. Monsters, demons, world in peril?
Buffy: I'll betcha they have all that stuff in Illinois.

Wesley: You cannot leave Sunnydale! With the power invested in me by the Council, I forbid it.
Giles: Oh, yes, that should settle it.

Faith: What are you, the narrator?

Buffy: Unfortunately, that's all I could get out of my informant before his aggressive tendencies forced me to introduce him to Mr. Pointy.

Willow: Hey, I eat danger for breakfast.
Xander: But, oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods.

Xander: I need a volunteer to hit Wesley.

Wesley: This is the town's best hope of survival. It's your chance to get out.
Buffy: You think I care about that? Are you made of human parts?

Vampire: What are you doing?
Willow: I'm looking for a sucking candy. 'Cause my mouth gets dry when I'm nervous, or held prisoner against my will. And suddenly I'm thinking "sucking" isn't a good word to use around vampires. Hey! Did you get permission to eat the hostage? I don't think so.

Faith: You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient.
Willow: Oh, and here I just thought you didn't have a comeback.

Mayor Wilkins: She's pretty, Angel. A little skinny. Still don't understand why it couldn't work out with you and my Faith. I guess you kinda just have strange tastes in women.
Angel: Yeah, well, what can I say? I like 'em sane.

Snyder: You... all of you... Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?

Willow: So Faith was like, "I'm gonna beat you up," and I'm all, "I'm not afraid of you." And then she had the knife, which was less fun.

Buffy: This is your night for suave, Will. You should get captured more often.

Willow: What do you mean, I can't?
Buffy: I won't let you.
Willow: Of the two people here, which is the boss of me?

Buffy: I feel the need for more sugar than the human body can handle.
Willow: Mochas?
Buffy: Yes, please.

Buffy: I don't know what the Mayor was talking about. How could he know anything about us?
Angel: Well, he's evil.
Buffy: Big time. He doesn't even know what a lasting relationship is. Probably the only lasting relationship he's ever had was... with...evil.
Angel: Yeah.
Buffy: Stupid evil guy. We'll be okay.
Angel: We will.

Buffy: Do I have funny bed hair or something?
Angel: Or something

Buffy: Oh, not good.
Angel: Where you going?
Buffy: To go kill the cat on my head.
Angel: No mirrors.
Buffy: You know, this place isn't really girl friendly. No mirrors, no natural light.
Angel: I think you look perfect.
Buffy: Yeah, I really look... okay.

Angel: The prom?
Buffy: End of high school, rite of passage thingy. Think cotillion with spiked punch and the electric slide.
Angel: Right.

Anya: You know, you can laugh, but I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species. And I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them.
Xander: Then why are you talking to me?
Anya: I don't have a date for the prom.
Xander: Well, gosh. I wonder why not? It couldn't have anything to do with your sales pitch.

 
Anya: Men are evil. Will you go with me?
Xander: One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which.

Anya: Now I have all these "feelings". I don't understand it. I don't like it. All I know is I rally want to go to this dance, and I want someone to go with me.
Xander: Be still my heart. Oh, wait, it is.

Anya: Look, I know you find me attractive. I've seen you looking at my breasts.
Xander: Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open.

Oz: Anya, huh? Interesting choice.
Xander: Choice is kind of a broad term for my situation. See, it's either Anya, or the sock puppet of love for this boy.
Willow: Well, if Anya tries to get you killed, put me down for a big "I told you so."

Buffy: Well, at least we all have someone to go with now. Some of us are going with demons, but I think that's a valid lifestyle choice.

Joyce: I'm here because I'm worried about you two... in general.
Angel: What happened before when I changed, it won't happen again.
Joyce: That's not all I'm concerned about. I don't have to tell you that you and Buffy are from different worlds.
Angel: No, you don't.
Joyce: She's had to deal with a lot. Grew up fast. Sometimes even I forget that she's just a girl.
Angel: And I'm old enough to be her ancestor.
Joyce: She's just starting out in life.
Angel: I know. I think about it more now that she's staying in Sunnydale.
Joyce: Good. Because when it comes to you Angel, she's just like any other young woman in love. You're all she can see of tomorrow. But I think we both know that there are some hard choices ahead. If she can't make them, you're going to have to. I know you care about her, I just hope you care enough.

Buffy: I always say that a patrol's not complete without a trip to the stinking sewers.
Angel: I'm sure I saw him come down here.
Buffy: Couldn't we just let this be the vamp that got away? We can say he was this big.
Angel: What can I say? I need closure.

Buffy: No, if you have something to say, say it. Angel, drop the cryptic, you're scaring me.
Angel: I've been thinking... about our future. And the more I do, the more I feel like us- you and me, being together is unfair to you.
Buffy: Is this about what the Mayor said? Because he was just trying to shake us up.
Angel: He was right.
Buffy: No. No, he wasn't. He's the bad guy.
Angel: You deserve more. You deserve something outside of demons and darkness. You should be with someone who can take you into the light. Someone who can make love to you.
Buffy: I don't care about that.
Angel: You will. And children.
Buffy: Children? Can you say jumping the gun. I killed my goldfish.
Angel: Today. But you have no idea how fast it goes, Buffy. Before you know it, you'll want it all. A normal life.
Buffy: I'll never have a normal life.
Angel: Right. You'll always be the Slayer. But that's all the more reason why you should have a real relationship instead of this- this freakshow. I didn't mean that.
Buffy: I wanna go.
Angel: I'm sorry. Buffy... you know how much I love you. It kills me to say this.
Buffy: Then don't. Who are you to tell me what's right for me? You think I haven't thought about this.
Angel: Have you? Rationally?
Buffy: No. Of course not. I'm just some swooning little school girl, right?
Angel: I'm trying to do what's right here. I'm trying to think with my head instead of my heart.
Buffy: Heart? You have a heart? It isn't even beating.
Angel: Don't.
Buffy: Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry. You know what? I didn't know that I got a choice in that. I'm never gonna change. I can't change. I want my life to be with you.
Angel: I don't.
Buffy: You don't want to be with me? I can't believe you're breaking up with me.
Angel: I doesn't mean that I don't...
Buffy: How am I supposed to stay away from you?
Angel: I'm leaving. After the Ascension. After it's finished with the Mayor and Faith. If we survive, I'll go.
Buffy: Where?
Angel: I don't know.
Buffy: Is this really happening?

Willow: So, that's it?
Buffy: That's it. Assuming we survive this Ascension thing, he's gonna leave town.
Willow: Well, he's a fool. He's just a big, dumb, jerk person. If you ask me. And he's a super maxi-jerk for doing it right before the prom.
Buffy: It's not his fault. He's 243 years old. He doesn't exactly get the prom.
Willow: But he should. If he...
Buffy: Will, it's okay. You don't have to make him the bad guy.
Willow: But, that's the best friend's job. Vilifying and grousing.
Buffy: Usually, yeah. But he's right. I think that maybe in the long run, he's right.
Willow: Yeah. I think he is. I mean, I tried to hope for the best, but... I'm sorry. Must be horrible.
Buffy: I think horrible is still coming. Right now, it's worse. Right now, I'm just trying to keep from dying.
Willow: Oh Buffy.
Buffy: I can't breathe Will. I feel like I can't breathe.

Cordelia: No dresses, no cellphone, no car. Everything has been taken away because Daddy made a little mistake on his taxes... for the last 12 years.

Cordelia: The other part that totally weirded me out, that thing had good taste. He chucked Xander and went right for the formalwear.
Xander: That's right. He left behind his copy of Monster's Wear Daily.

Oz: Once again, the Hellmouth puts the "special" in special occasion.

Buffy: I'm gonna give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every person on the face of the Earth to do it.
Xander: Yay?

Buffy: I mean, where did I think you get your blood, McPlasma's?

Buffy: Great thing about being a Slayer? Kicking ass is comfort food.

Willow: We got in. Maybe we should dance before we get besieged, bedeviled or beheaded or something.

Oz: Everything cool?
Buffy: Coolest. Devil dogs are history. How's the prom?
Oz: Strangely affecting. I got all teared up when they played "We Are Family".

Jonathan: We have one more award to give out. Is Buffy Summers here tonight? Did she....um...This is actually a new category. First time ever. I guess there were a lot of write in ballots and the prom committee asked me to read this. ‘We're not good friends. Most of us never found the time to get to know you. But that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it much, but it's not secret that Sunnydale High isn't really like other high schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here.’
Student: Zombies.
Student: Hyena people.
Student: Snyder.
Jonathan: ’But whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened, you seemed to show up and stop it. Most of the people here have been saved by you. Or helped by you at one time or another. We're proud to say that the class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history. And we know that at least part of that is because of you. So the senior class offers it's thanks and gives you, uh... this.’ It's from all of us. And it has written here, Buffy Summers- Class Protector.

Giles: For god's sake, man, she's 18! And you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just have at it, would you, and stop fluttering about!
Wesley: Right, then. Thanks for that.

Buffy: I never thought you'd come.
Angel: It's a big night. I didn't want to miss it. It's just tonight. It doesn't mean that I...
Buffy: I know. I mean, I understand.
Angel: Dance with me.

Cordelia: Dignity? You? In relation to clothes? I'm awash in a sea of confusion.
Xander: I just want to look respectable in this... considering I'm probably gonna die in it.
Cordelia: Excuse me?
Xander: I'm telling you, I woke up the other day with this feeling in my gut. I just know. There is no way I'm getting out of this school alive.

Buffy: Don't you hate her?
Willow: Yes, with a fiery vengeance. She picked on me for 10 years. The vacuous tramp. It's like a sickness, Buffy. I'm just missing everything. I miss P.E.
Buffy: I think it's contagious. The whole senior class has turned into the 60's. Or what I would have imagined the 60's would have been like, you know, without the war and the hairy armpits.

Anya: Men like sports. I'm sure of it.
Xander: Yes. Men like sports. Men watch the action movie, they eat of the beef, and they enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs, and that's all you've learned?

Wesley: Everybody does seem to be going a bit mad lately. Faith has something of a head-start.

Buffy: What page are you on, Wes? 'Cause we already got there.

Buffy: I just love it when you take charge, you man, you.
Wesley: But, wha... was that a yes? I'm having trouble keeping track.

Giles: Faith has you at a disadvantage, Buffy.
Buffy: 'Cause I'm not crazy, or 'cause I don't kill people?
Giles: Both, actually.

Cordelia: What's her saga?
Xander: She's freaking.
Cordelia: About what?
Xander: The Mayor's gonna kill us all during graduation.
Cordelia: Oh. Are you gonna go to fifth period?
Xander: I'm thinking I might skip it.
Cordelia: Yeah, me too.

Willow: No, it's great... if we want to make ferns invisible, or communicate with shrimp, I've got the goods right here.
Oz: Our lives are different than other people's.

Angel: Ow.
Buffy: Stealthy.
Angel: Not my best entrance. I think they were mopping in the halls.

Buffy: You know what? Thank you, but I can take it from here.
Angel: It's alright. I'll walk you there.
Buffy: Look, I don't need an escort. I'm a big girl with superpowers, remember? I don't need you crowding me.
Angel: I didn't think I was.
Buffy: No, of course you don't. You just show up at the prom and then disappear into the ozone. For all I knew, you left town.
Angel: Are you mad at me for being around too much or for not being around enough.
Buffy: Duh. Yes.
Angel: Which?
Buffy: What?
Angel: I don't get you.
Buffy: No, you don't. Not anymore.
Angel: Are you making this harder to make this easier on yourself?
Buffy: Can we stop with the brain teasers? I just wish it was over. Done.
Angel: It's not that simple. Once the Mayor...
Buffy: I know. World in peril and we have to work together. This is my last office romance, I'll tell you that.
Angel: Then I'll get out of your face.
Buffy: Isn't this even a little hard for you?
Angel: How can you ask me that? Just because I'm not acting like a brat doesn't mean I don't feel.
Buffy: It's nice to know what you think of me.
Angel: What do you expect me to say when you just attack?
Buffy: I just can't do this anymore. I can't have you in my life when I'm trying to live...

Wesley: Buffy, they're very firm. We're talking about laws that have existed longer than civilization.
Buffy: I'm talking about watching my lover die. I don't have a clue what you're talking about and I don't care.

Wesley: You can't turn your back on the Council.
Buffy: They're in England. I don't think they can tell which way my back is facing.

Buffy: I have a strategy. You're not in it.
Wesley: This is mutiny.
Buffy: I like to think of it as graduation.

Xander: Boy, it's a good thing no one ever wanted to check any of these books out, huh?
Giles: Yes, very convenient.

Cordelia: I demand an explanation.
Xander: For what?
Cordelia: Wesley.
Xander: Uh... inbreeding?

Oz: Any change?
Willow: He’s delirious. He thought I was Buffy.
Oz: You too, huh?

Buffy: Drink. Drink me.

Mayor Wilkins: Murderous little fiend. Did you see what she did to my Faith?
Angel: Hadn't made any plans to weep over that one.

Xander: Well. It’s just good to know that when the chips are down and things look grim, you’ll feed off the girl who loves you to save your own ass.

Faith: Miles to go. Little Miss Muffet counting down from 7-3-0.
Buffy: Great. Riddles.

Buffy: Is this your mind or mine?
Faith: Beats me.

Buffy: Is Angel here?
Oz: He had to go. Got kinda sunny.

Cordelia: I personally don’t think it’s possible to come up with a crazier plan.
Oz: We attack the Mayor with humus.
Cordelia: I stand corrected.
Oz: Just keeping things in perspective.
Cordelia: Thank you.

Buffy: I’m gonna need every single on of you on board. Especially you, Xander. You’re sorta the key figure here.
Xander: Key? Me? Okay, pride. Humility. And here’s the mind numbing fear.

Buffy: Faith told me to play on his human weakness.
Willow: Faith told you? Is that before or after you put her in a coma?
Buffy: After.
Willow: Oh.

Xander: I'm starting to lean towards the Hummus Offensive.
Oz: They'll never see it coming.

Angel: At the hospital, he was grieving. Seriously crazed and not just in a homicidal-I-want-to-be-a-demon way.

Wesley: You haven't an enormous amount of time.
Xander: Hey! It's Mr. States the Obvious!

Buffy: Yeah, it does. You and Xander are going to have to work together now. Can you guys handle that?
Xander: I’m still ‘Key’ guy, right?
Buffy: Right.
Xander: Great. Then Angel, in non- ‘Key’ guy capacity, can work with me.
Angel: What fun.
Xander: Hey! ‘Key’ guy still talking.
Buffy: Oh good. That’s it. Start bickering. That’ll look great for us. You guys are like little old ladies.

Snyder: Congratulations to the Class of 1999. You all proved more or less adequate.

Buffy: My God. He’s gonna do the entire speech.
Willow: Man, just ascend already.
Buffy: Evil.

Buffy: Fire bad, tree pretty.

Cordelia: Well, that was the most fun you could have without having any fun.
Willow: What about the part where we kicked some demon ass? I didn’t hate that.

Buffy: If someone could just wake me when it’s time to go to college, that’d be great.

Willow: Why do demons even come here? I mean, don't they know how bad we are?