Fanfiction: Origin - Part One
On the walk home, Jesse learned a few more things about Chris. Originally from Cape Cod, an area of Massachusetts that was significantly southward of Boston, Chris had entered the Air Force straight out of high school. He was twenty-five, a year younger than Jesse, but he knew a lot more than her, at least in terms of geography, because he’d been to most of the nearby states. One of the perks about being a pilot, he’d said. His parents still lived in Cape Cod, but he rarely visited, a sentiment that Jesse could relate to. Her own parents had kicked her out when she became pregnant, and she’d never stopped hating them for it. Nearly everyone she had ever known had scorned or abandoned her for being a single mother, but oddly, Chris didn’t seem at all phased about Faith. This fact only reinforced Jesse’s belief that she’d finally gotten some good luck.
The adults cooked the modest meal while Faith watched some cartoons. When the preparation was done, Jesse called her to the table, where she immediately set upon her plate of pasta like it was the first meal she’d had in months. She spoke little during the meal, instead concentrating on her food and listening to what her mom and Chris were talking about.
“Do you have a last name, flyboy?” Jesse joked, putting some salt on her noodles.
“Yeah, but you have to promise not to laugh.” Chris, who had been in the process of shoveling pasta into his mouth, stopped in mid-chew.
“I promise.”
“It’s…Amoretti,” Chris confessed, as if he had just rid himself of a terrible secret.
Perplexed, Jesse openly stared. “Why would I laugh at that?”
Chris gave one of his constant shrugs. “It’s just an unusual last name.” He pointed to his pitch-black hair. “Only an Italian name could go with hair like this.”
“Well I think it’s a pretty name,” Jesse said.
“And you have a last name, as well, I assume?”
“Lehane.”
Chris paused, as if considering the name. “I think yours is prettier than mine,” he admitted, winking across the table. Jesse found herself blushing for the second time that night. “So, Faith, what grade are you in?” he asked, trying to bring the girl into the conversation so she didn’t feel left out.
Having finished her meal minutes ago, Faith had been regarding the two adults. “Second grade,” she said. “I started today.”
“Do you like it?”
Faith responded immediately and without much emotion. “It’s fine.”
“Just fine?” Chris raised one of his eyebrows.
Confused, Faith looked towards her mother, then back at Chris. “It’s okay.” She didn’t have any other words to describe school. It wasn’t “good” or “great”. “Fine” seemed to encompass the meaning she was searching for, but she quickly ran out of adjectives when prodded for more. “I mean…it’s…”
“Hey, that’s all right,” Chris broke in, saving Faith from struggling for more descriptive terms. “I never liked school much, either.”
Grateful that her interrogation was over, Faith yawned, thanked Chris and her mom for dinner, dutifully cleaned her own plate, then wandered off to brush her teeth and get ready for bed.
“She’s certainly responsible, if not too enthusiastic about school,” Chris told Jesse as they were cleaning up the rest of the table.
“She doesn’t have many friends,” Jesse conceded. She turned on the sink, running the hot water. “But Faith’s smart; always gets A’s on everything she does. I just worry that she isn’t very happy most of the time. I mean, look at the life I’ve given her. Not much to brag about, you know?”
“Hey, it’s better than what would’ve happened to her had she been placed in an orphanage or something.” Chris took over at the sink and washed the plates and silverware as he spoke. “Her life could be a lot worse, Jesse, and I think you’ve done a great job so far. Single moms have it rough, but Faith’s a smart little girl, like you said. Cute, too, like her mom.” He smiled.
“What a suck-up you are,” Jesse said in return, giving him a playful shove. He stuck out his tongue and made a face. “Oh, so is that how it’s gonna be, Mr. Air Force?”
“Yep. You know what we need, though?”
Jesse put on a dumbfounded face. “No, but tell me of this amazing secret.”
“Some of this!” Walking over the partially-full grocery bags, he retrieved his bottle of rum and held it up, obviously excited.
“Don’t let Faith see that,” Jesse warned, striding over and putting it back in the bag. “But grab some glasses; we’ll go to my room.” Chris obliged, quickly finding them in one of the cupboards. The two of them flicked off the kitchen light and headed for Jesse’s bedroom.
“Good night, Faith. Sleep tight, okay?”
In the bathroom, Faith momentarily stopped brushing her teeth to reply to her mother.
“Good night, mommy,” she said. Chris added something, so Faith felt obliged to answer back. “Good night, Chris.” She heard the door shut and lock.
It was weird to have someone else in the apartment, Faith decided. She didn’t like it very much. Of course, she had seen lots of other men…and even a few women…come through during her seven years, so Chris’s arrival wasn’t necessarily something she was unaccustomed to, but something about him was different. Chris was nice, and he had helped at the store, but something about him was too open, too ready to please. Faith had had conversations with lots of grown-ups in Boston, and none of them acted like Chris did. Even the other kids at school had a hardness about them, a natural wariness that Chris lacked. Not once had she heard him say anything that could be construed as mean, or even remotely ambiguous, and that in itself was downright odd.
Not knowing what to think of this new development in her life, Faith finished brushing her teeth and washed her face. She turned off the bathroom light, went to her room, shut the door, and got into her pajamas. It was getting cold outside again. Autumn and winter in Boston always served up some chilly weather, and Faith had never gotten used to it. She liked the pleasant springs and warm summers, when she could run and play without worrying about snow or frigid breezes. But weather was just one of those things that she couldn’t change, so she gave a last look outside to make sure that nothing exciting was happening, sighed to herself, and set her small alarm clock for six o’clock tomorrow morning. A few seconds later, she’d turned off the light and tucked herself snuggly in under the covers, grateful for their warmth and imagined protection.
Hours later, she woke up, but when she sleepily glanced at the clock, it proclaimed the time to be two in the morning. Disappointed that she’d woken up for no apparent reason, she sat up and ran a hand through her hair as she yawned. Realizing that she was thirsty, she yawned again and shoved her covers away. Making her way to the door without bothering to turn on the light, she opened it and went towards the kitchen, intending to get a drink of water. She let out an involuntary gasp when her feet came in contact with the freezing linoleum, immediately wishing she had remembered to grab some socks. Firm in her resolve for water, she braved the rest of the distance to the sink, where she found some clean cups from dinner drying, upside down so that the water would run out and down the drain.
As she was reaching into the sink for one of the cups, the door to her mom’s room creaked open, nearly causing Faith to drop the cup she’d selected. It wasn’t that the dark scared Faith, because she was afraid of very few things. But in the past, bad things had happened very late at night, bad things that appeared to arise from the smell of alcohol that Faith had noticed on her mom earlier. Sometimes, when that smell was around, Jesse was like a different person, belligerent and overly inclined to use harsh words, or even physical punishment. So Faith feared not the dark, but the things that the darkness was concealing. It could be nothing; it could be a monster that looked like her mother.
It was Chris.
Nevertheless, she kept her gaze on him, somehow realizing that something wasn’t right even before she saw him stagger into the eerily shifting moonlight that poured through the kitchen window. Not privy to his thoughts, Faith didn’t know whether to stand still, silently creep away, or begin a conversation. She watched as he bumped into the kitchen table; after he nearly fell in shock, he put one of his hands out to steady himself.
Then Faith knew what was wrong. It was that smell again.
As Chris slowly came closer, she could almost taste it in the air, nearly palpable in its excess. Where was her mom? Struggling to come to a decision, tiny hands clutching her cup, cold feet forgotten, Faith stood her ground at the sink.
Tentatively, lest she anger him, she spoke. “Hi, Chris.” Quiet, unobtrusive.
There was no response, only Chris’s incoherent mumbling as he continued to sway towards the sink. Close enough to the moonlight that Faith could now make out his face, she saw that his eyes weren’t even focused on her at all, or on anything else, for that matter. She checked over her shoulder to make sure that he wasn’t glaring at something she’d missed, but there was only the wall and the window. Full of confusion and anxious to be gone, Faith sidestepped to the left, hoping to make a wide circle and disappear into her room once more. The water could wait till morning.
Suddenly, Chris blurted out a slurred sentence, immediately halting Faith’s progress. “Who are you?” he asked, turning his head slightly to regard Faith. Moonlight glinted off his eyes, which had turned absolutely, utterly black. There was none of his earlier warmth and seeming kindness in the stare, and Faith unconsciously retreated until her back was against the counter. “Who…are…you?” he repeated, taking a step forward.
“F-Faith,” she stammered, trying to keep from crying for her mother. At this hour, Jesse might be worse to deal with than Chris.
“How…interesting,” Chris returned, coming even closer. He was now only a few short feet from Faith. “‘Cause I don’t know anyone by that name. You break into this apartment, little girl?”
“I-I live here,” Faith responded, unable to keep the tremor from her voice. She felt small, insignificant. She wanted to disappear. “With mommy.”
“Don’t fucking lie to me!” Chris forcefully said, in a quiet, menacing tone. He advanced until he was standing directly over Faith, forcing her to gaze straight up into his nearly inhuman face.
Faith felt as if she’d been dealt a physical blow. How could he not know who she was? How could he not know that she lived here? The darkness was total and complete; Chris’s body blocked the moonlight, casting an immense and inescapable shadow over Faith. In the absence of light, Faith wanted to curl up on the floor and cower, but she continued standing although her resolve was faltering.
She tried to begin again, almost on the verge of tears. In her heart, she knew that she was right; she had to tell the truth. “B-but I’m not lyin’”
Faith never saw Chris’ hand coming toward her in the darkness. One moment, she was talking; the next, she was on the ground, her head filled not with thoughts, but with pain. The cup she’d been holding spun idly on the ground.
“What did I tell you about lying?”
Though she heard the question, Faith found that she couldn’t respond to it nor figure out its source. Her eyes, closed tightly in an attempt to make her head cease stinging, didn’t see Chris bend down over her, but she sensed it.
All pretense of courage gone, desperately wishing the entire night had been a bad dream, Faith did the only thing she could do. She cried for help. But as soon as she began calling to Jesse, Chris silenced her.
“Shut the fuck up!” he roared, all pretense of restraint gone, as if it had never existed in the first place. “Shut up!” He roughly grabbed Faith’s hair, pulling it savagely in an attempt to make her obey, but she would not be silenced. Not now, not ever.
“Mommy!” she screamed through the pain. Her entire world felt as if was being torn apart. “Mommy!”
Chris was relentless, his curses struggling to drown out Faith’s pleas for aid.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Jesse cried as she ran out of her bedroom, having been awakened by Faith’s screams and Chris’ threats. Without thinking, she leapt at Chris, trying to wrap her arms around his neck. She didn’t know if it would do any harm, but the attack had its intended effect when Chris let go of Faith. “You asshole!”
Jesse hung on as Chris struggled to his feet, teetering all over the darkened kitchen as he tried to regain his equilibrium. On the floor, tears streaming from her eyes, Faith watched helplessly as Chris threw her mom over his shoulder to the floor, where she landed heavily.
“Bitch!” he shouted, crouching down on his knees and holding Jesse’s face against the floor with both hands. “See what happens when you fuck with me?! See what happens!”
Faith could hear her mother whimpering as Chris pressed harder. At that moment, Faith felt hatred for the first time in her young life. Physical violence, she had experienced before. She had known pain, anguish, loneliness, alienation, and neglect. But never before had she hated anyone. Not until now. She fought her way to her hands and knees despite the abuse she’d taken, trying to stifle her tears, intending to crawl over and get Chris’s attention so he would leave her mother alone.
Without warning, Chris stood up from where he was kneeling, right at the very edge of the kitchen. He stormed into Jesse’s room with no explanation, no hint as to why he had relented. Faith heard things breaking, heard more cursing and yelling. Jesse quickly picked herself off the floor and made her way over to Faith, hugging her daughter close. An instant later, Chris reentered the living room, roughly putting on his shoes.
“Get the fuck out of my house!” Jesse screamed from the floor, where she and Faith were pressed against the cupboards. “Now!”
“Fuck you, bitch! You’re lucky you’re not dead!”
With that, Chris angrily strode across the living room, flung open the door, and walked into the hallway. Faith heard his footsteps slowly disappear into the night. The apartment became silent once more, except for the sounds of Faith crying. Her face hurt, as did her head, from where Chris had yanked her hair. But more than the pain, she felt an all-encompassing hatred. Faith hated Chris so much for hurting her and her mom. All she’d wanted was some water…
Jesse held her daughter tightly, and Faith wrapped her little arms around her mother.
The unfeeling moonlight, cascading through the window as it always had, cast the kitchen and the night’s awful events into Faith’s memory, where she would never be able to forget them.