After the episode New Moon Rising aired in America, some fans where extremely pissed off that Willow chose Tara over Oz. They were unkind towards Tara, and especially towards her weight. Amber Benson was naturally upset about this and bravely went online on May 4th, 2000 with the following message:
“I’ve been thinking a lot about what people said about Tara on the internet after the last episode aired. At first, I was very hurt. I tried to disassociate myself from feeling bad by saying: This is Tara that they are talking about, not me. But I couldn’t. I guess it hurts when someone calls you ugly or makes nasty comments about your weight whether or not it is really YOU they are referring to. I am just a human being and I feel like I deserve to be treated as such. I also feel that Tara deserves to be treated with a little more kindness and compassion.
Yes, I am not a STICK. I am a NORMAL, HEALTHY (I was gonna say Girl, but…) WOMAN. I have breasts and hips and I am very happy that they are part of me. I weigh 118 and I am 5′4. If you saw me in real life, you would think I was on the thin side. But on tv, next to my very petite costars, I do like heavier. I am PROUD to be NORMAL. A body is a beautiful thing to waste. Believe me, I have seen enough of my friends and peers waste away to NOTHING so that they could work in this industry. So that they could perpetuate the LIE that ANOREXIA is Beautiful. IT IS NOT. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. ALL OF YOU. Just for being.
You all can judge me and Tara for being ‘fat’, ‘gay’ and ’shy’. I suppose that my being on tv gives you that right. But I DO NOT have to read what you say. I have enjoyed being a lurker. But my feelings just can’t take the criticism. Those of you (you know who you are) with sensitivity will understand. Thank you for sticking up for us. Tara and I both appreciate it. I think that being a beautiful, heavy, lesbian witch rocks! No matter what happens I’m glad I get the chance to walk in Tara’s shoes. All you girls and guys out there who think that starving, binging and purging and exercising yourself to DEATH is gonna change how you feel inside - It’s NOT. Don’t buy inot all the media crap. Love yourself for who you are, not what others THINK you should look like. It’s DEFINITELY more important in this life to love each other despite our imperfections.”
April 2nd, 2005 at 4:11 pm
Good for her, I’m just glad she had the courage to say it herself, unlike most celebrities, it was a veyr gutzy move and i hope that shut the critics up.
April 28th, 2005 at 11:58 pm
oh wow, and thats why I love her, shes not skinny, but shes proud of it.
anyone seen the dove campaign?
yeah, see shes right, real women have curves, men like curves, its easier to get a hold of rather than flesh and bones.
as a ballet dancer I get alot of stick about my weight too, but outside the ballet world I’m just like everyone else.
:)
June 7th, 2005 at 7:37 pm
I think Amber is absolutly beautiful, and one of the best actors i’ve seen.When she play Tara and her brain was sucked,she made it work.That’s why we love her.
July 8th, 2005 at 5:00 pm
I was little upset when Willow picked Tara over Oz but I never got mad at the character Tara or the actress Amber. After a few episodes, Tara grew on me and I really liked Willow and Tara together. I think everyone was just really sad to see Oz go, not so much that they disliked Tara. He was a cool character and a lot of peoples favorite so I guess they took their anger about him leaving the show for good out on her.
August 8th, 2005 at 8:46 pm
I was pissed the first time I heard that fans had dissed Amber and her character because she was gay and because she was not what they had expected. I always had this image that the BtVS fans were like one big family and that we all understood Joss and how brilliant the show was written. I was shocked and dissappointed in my fellow fans. I am bi and I hope nobody holds that against me.
September 3rd, 2005 at 12:33 pm
WOW. I’m so in love with amber right now…. totally cool of her to say… It’s people like that, that I love to have as friends, jezz i wish amber was my friend, we totally agree on this… :) sadly, joss is really the person wanting his actors and actresses to look a certain way.. but, then they( his co workers, and fellow writers and things…if you ever read interviews, and i don’t mean to mock joss, .. in genearl some people are like this, most of them are now adays. and its horrible… makes me feel bad about myself as well as others, striving to be a certain way.) told him hire amber anyway, if he hadn’t done what the others would say, then we probally wouldn’t have had tara, and it’s finally nice to see some one so boldy publically say this…… props and many kudos to amber, i’m a bit chubby myself too.;)
October 24th, 2005 at 12:46 am
I was pissed when I read this. Yeah, we were all a little sad when Seth Green left for the last time and Willow chose Tara but I personally liked Tara better than Oz and was happy. Plus, Amber/Tara doesn’t have to be a stick-figure to be beautiful. No one does. I’m not dissing Sarah Michelle Gellar or anyone but you do not have to be tiny to be pretty.
November 13th, 2005 at 9:40 pm
I heard in some interveiw or another that Joss wanted somebody “small and birdlike” to play Tara, but come one people! Every other girl on the show is small and birdlike! It’s so much better for Tara to be someone Amber’s shape, because since Tara is such an earthy, womanly presence it’s great that she has curves like a traditional woman. Besides, I’d kill to weigh 118 pounds! By a normal person’s standards, that is very thin.
I agree with what someone said about SMG, and how she lost so much weight by the end of the series I think she might have fallen over if a vampire pushed her with a feather. That’s just not healthy.
November 13th, 2005 at 9:57 pm
It’s true Sarah lost a lot of weight as you said in the end of btvs, In the first season she was a lot more healther. I read in an interweiw somewhere that Sarah 2003 weight 45 kilos, I don’t know what that is in pounds. That’s just extrem!!
I think the reason why Joss wanted a “small and birdlike” actress was because then Willow got to be the more supierior. Ok, If you didn’t get it, don’t be sad, I’m known for being confusing.But it do make sense in my head.
November 13th, 2005 at 10:11 pm
Incidentally, Amber says she was 5′4″ and 118 lbs. - that is still very thin. Perhaps she was not sickly thin, but still under average body weight for that height.
December 26th, 2005 at 8:29 pm
I love Amber even more for that. It’s about time somebody stood up gave hell to the criticism famous people get. I thonk she’s perfect the way she is. There is nothing wrong with being gay, and you don’t have to be stick thin. Amber is the person everyone should have as a role model.
December 31st, 2005 at 6:49 pm
Me too, I Amber is a great role model and I’m really pleased she stood up for herself. There’s nothing wrong with being gay or bi (inkslayer I’m right there with you). Amber is a beautiful person with a strong personality, well done to her :o)
January 13th, 2006 at 2:30 pm
I’ve got to agree with everyone about this. I simply don’t understand why anyone would complain about Amber Benson’s weight. Not only is she not at all fat, but she is just an incredibly beautiful woman. One reason that I think that this is so upsetting is that, since she first appeared on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Tara has always been my favorite character on television, and therefore it’s upsetting to read anything negative written about this character or about Amber Benson.
March 24th, 2006 at 12:50 am
I was a bit miffed when Willow chose Tara over Oz, it was obviously going to happen the minute that he turned up, but when she chose Tara I was slightly disappointed because I think Oz is an absolutely gorgeous character.
But, after a few more episodes I realised that Tara was just as good, if not better suited for Willow, and by the time she died in season 6 she was as fantastic a character to me as any of the others.
Regarding the fat thing. What the hell!? I have never noticed Benson to be a little on the weighty side.. if anything I thought she was normal and Willow was skinny..
Plus, after reading that response of hers, my opinion of Benson herself has rocketed. She’s incredibly talented, (her singing voice is amazing), and anyone who says otherwise can only be put down as jealous and bitter. So, fnah to them!
March 24th, 2006 at 3:13 pm
Well put samuelf, but I’ve got to know, what did you mean with “fnah to them”?
March 24th, 2006 at 7:54 pm
Hahah, sorry, thats a bit of a samuelfism. I just meant, pfft, to the previously mentioned jealous, bitter people who were childish enough to criticise her.
March 25th, 2006 at 2:21 am
Wow! If you are going to be an actor, you better get some thicker skin. If you are going to put yourself on public display, then you better be ready to be judged, sometimes harshly. Let’s be honest, there’s no way she’s 118 pounds and she is no where near thin.
That being said, so what? She is full figured (in a good way!) and if she is happy with that, then that’s what matters. She did a layout for Stuff magazine that was beautiful. You need to be happy with who and how you are cause there will always be somebody who will try to tear you down. People are cruel and you can’t change that. They are entitled to their opinions as we are entitled to our own and can call them names right back (childish, jealous, bitter, cruel jackasses etc.)
As for Tara v. Oz: I liked Tara and Willow’s relationship and was glad that they ended up together. I missed Oz because he was friggin funny, not because he was Willow’s love interest.
March 25th, 2006 at 2:06 pm
I must say, in response to the previous comment, that “they” aren’t entitiled to hurl insults at people. While it seems clear that Amber Benson is hot (so those statements about her appearance don’t appear to possess any validity), that isn’t even the point. Personal attacks on one’s appearance are never healthy, plus it only encourages unhealthy attitudes about how great being ulta-thin is. Calling them names right back may be a proper response, but it hardly makes it acceptable.
Now, on to the important issues. She has a spread in Stuff, huh? Me thinks me wants to see it (hee hee).
March 26th, 2006 at 4:21 am
I think it’s wrong to assume that actors/actresses can take insults and abuse because it’s what they get for being on public display. Amber Benson’s public reply alone should be enough to show that even famous people can be hurt by comments.
July 10th, 2006 at 6:24 pm
Two things. 1, Amber Benson isn’t fat. 2, even if she were, so what? She’s a great actress and I think Willow and Tara are the cutest couple ever and the one that should never have ended up as they did.
Besides, anyone would look fat if they were surrounded by Sarah, Alyson, Michelle and Emma all at the same time.
July 19th, 2006 at 2:45 pm
Come on! I was shocked when I read that she was critised! It NEVER came in to my mind that she is fat or weighty or ANYTHING. And they were perfectly fit with Alyson.
And I loved Oz but it was so natural that Willow fell for Tara it didn’t surprised me at all. The whole storyline was built-up very well.
And Amber is so brave and clever to spread these words.
Oh and I really love this line:
“I think that being a beautiful, heavy, lesbian witch rocks!”
:D
AMBER ROCKS! :)